Saturday, December 24, 2016

Just in time for the holidays: Your comprehensive-ish guide to "Thurber (et al.) Tonight" (the whole dang series)

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Including Woody Allen, Robert Benchley, Bob and Ray, Will Cuppy, Wolcott Gibbs, Ring Lardner, S. J. Perelman, Jean Shepherd, and E. B. White Tonight


All I asked Santa for was a better picture of the great Will Cuppy; the one I've been using looks like it was taken clandestinely while he was in the Witness Protection program. However, given my lack of faith in the fat phony, I wasn't optimistic that he'd come through, so I went searching on my own once again, and once again my Google Images search for "Will Cuppy" yielded the swell pix of Will Rogers and Ring Lardner which somehow always turn up, and once again I had to decide, with heavy heart, that no, they wouldn't really fill the gap better than what we've got. But then the above image turned up, and I figured that since it purports to be part of a book cover, the chap portrayed therein must actually be our Will. I have to say, though, that this pic creeps the dickens out of me, and so I don't think I'll be popping it into the Will Cuppy slot below. I think I'm actually going to be trying to forget I ever saw it. Sheesh!

by Ken

You look around and see all those decked halls, then close your eyes and hear all that fa-la-la-la-la-ing, and almost instantly you know something's up, am I right? Or else you read Noah's post last night, "Profiles In Cowardice: The Electoral College," and noticed that it's also Part 1 of his annual, er, tribute to the outgoing year, this time out: "2016: America Off The Rails."

That's right, it's the Holiday Season!

Okay, okay, I know it's been going on since about Columbus Day, if not Labor Day, and tonight is already Christmas Eve, for Bill O'Reilly's sake! I believe in letting the damned thing sneak up on me, so sneakily that with any luck it's almost past before it announces its presence. In a week or so we'll be ushering in a new year, and then begins the Countdown to Inauguration Day. And then we're on to wishing for a minimum of four more good years for Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

So in the holiday spirit, or at least what passes for it hereabouts, I'm looking to slip into the DWT schedule some of what Tom and Ray Magliozzi, the Car Talk guys, liked to bill as "encore presentations" of memorable shows, which they hastened to explain were really things they pulled more or less randomly out of a box of old tapes. Naturally I never believed they were chosen entirely at random -- after all, there had to be some reason why those particular tapes were in that particular box, right? 


And I'm not going to be choosing entirely randomly either. On the theory that along about now we could all use a few laughs, and also because it's one of the things i'm proudest of having done, I'm planning to dig into the "Thurber (et al.) Tonight" series I did here way back in some previous century.

Earlier this year I did perform a couple of resurrections from the series. There was a June post called "Having trouble getting things done? Learn from the master, the great Robert Benchley," which brought back a piece I think of just about every day, "How to Get Things Done." (Short version: "The psychological principle is this: anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment.") Then in August I felt the itch again, and again it was a Benchley piece I had to bring back, in a post called "Comedy Tonight: 'Why We Laugh -- or Do We?': Another 'Benchley Tonight' Resurrection."

And I didn't even get (back) to what may be my very favorite Benchley piece, "A Little Sermon on Success." (As noted in the comprehensive-ish listing below -- "comprehensive-ish" in that I can't help feeling that I've missed an instance or two here or there -- you can find it here.) Not to mention the sublime "My Five- (or Maybe Six-) Year Plan." And . . . .

And no Thurber encore presentations at all! Yikes!

So I've cooked up this scheme for the holiday season (and perhaps the January slump season as well) to find post slots where I can slip in some especially cherished posts from these revered masters, and maybe some suggested "must reads" from among the stuff of theirs that was previously presented, at least until Howie cries out, "Please stop already!"

But, first things first (not my usual practice, as readers may be aware), I thought we would start with the comprehensive-ish listing itself. This is essentially unchanged from the version to which I have been providing a link since time immemorial. The one change I contemplated was to be able to pop in, finally, a better picture of Will Cuppy, but as noted in the photo caption above, that project came to a creepier-than-dead end.


And so, without further ado, excepting one tiny click-through --


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Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Having trouble getting things done? Learn from the master, the great Robert Benchley

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Harking back to our comedy nights with Benchley plus James Thurber, Woody Allen, Bob and Ray, Will Cuppy, Wolcott Gibbs, Ring Lardner, S. J. Perelman, Jean Shepherd, and E. B. White


"The secret of my incredible energy and efficiency in getting work done is a simple one. I have based it very deliberately on a well-known psychological principle and have refined it so that it is now almost too refined. I shall have to begin coarsening it up again pretty soon.

"The psychological principle is this: anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment."

-- Robert Benchley, in "How to Get Things Done"

by Ken

Today, a long-delayed labor of love: the resurrection of a series that was itself a prolonged labor of love, running here in the late-night slot -- for which, in fact, the late-night slot was invented -- over a long and fondly remembered period. It started with Thurber but then went on to include all the names you see above. And in resurrecting it, the name that has crowded to the forefront of my consciousness is that of the great Robert Benchley, specifically in the form of the piece we're about to revisit: "How to Get Things Done," which was first published in the Chicago Tribune in 1930 and first appeared here as a "Benchley Tonight" post in January 2011.

Lately I've been trying to get bits of my life in order, or at any rate a bit more in order, and have had frequent occasion to talk about this as well, frequently with other people trying to do the same thing with their lives. As a result, I've had frequent occasion to try to synopsize this all-but-definitive treatise on how really and truly to get things done -- the secret, as our Bob puts it, to "how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated." By the way, I tried unsuccessfully to track down a picture of our Bob "riding to hounds" or "going to fancy-dress balls disguised as Louis XIV"; there don't seem to have been photographers present on these occasions.

So there was no question in my mind that of all the thousands of sublime pieces that appeared in this series, "How to Get Things Done" is the one for which present-day readers are likely to have the most urgent need. The master list for the series, by the way, can still be found here.



Now let's get down to business -- or, rather, business Benchley-style.


How to Get Things Done

by Robert Benchley

A GREAT MANY PEOPLE have come up to me and asked me how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated. My answer is "Don't you wish you knew?" and a pretty good answer it is, too, when you consider that nine times out of ten I didn't hear the original question.

But the fact remains that hundreds of thousands of people throughout the country are wondering how I have time to do all my painting, engineering, writing and philanthropic work when, according to the rotogravure sections and society notes I spend all my time riding to hounds, going to fancy-dress balls disguised as Louis XIV or spelling out GREETINGS TO CALIFORNIA in formation with three thousand Los Angeles school children. "All work and all play," they say.

The secret of my incredible energy and efficiency in getting work done is a simple one. I have based it very deliberately on a well-known psychological principle and have refined it so that it is now almost too refined. I shall have to begin coarsening it up again pretty soon.

The psychological principle is this: anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment.

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Thursday, March 17, 2011

Wolcott Gibbs Tonight: "Glorious Calvin (A Critical Appreciation)" -- the clown prince of screen comedy?

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"The comic art of Calvin Coolidge was a thing so subtle that it almost defied analysis."
-- Gibbs, in "Glorious Calvin (A Critical Appreciation)"

by Ken

It occurs to me that the Gibbs piece we're about to read, "Glorious Calvin" -- an "appreciation" of what we might call the "comedy stylings" of Calvin Coolidge which first saw the light of print when Glorious Cal was within weeks of retiring permanently to private life -- might have been eerily on point for the nominating phase of the 2008 presidential selection process, given the wide assortment of verbally bumbling life forms then vying for the Republican nomination. Of course there's no guarantee that the 2012 field will be any wiser or more articulate, so we may well wish to refer back to "Glorious Calvin" as the lineup takes shape.



"When Coolidge left the pictures, he was succeeded by Herbert Hoover, a comedian whose work displayed certain similarities. To the critical mind, however, it was thin and derivative, a self-conscious echo of his predecessor's magnificent technique. I doubt if we shall ever see the Master's like again." (Gibbs)


TO ACQUIRE A PROPER APPRECIATION
OF GLORIOUS CALVIN, CLICK HERE



TOMORROW NIGHT (preview), SATURDAY NIGHT (preview), and SUNDAY (main post) in SUNDAY CLASSICS:
Handel's Music for the Royal Fireworks and Water Music



NEXT WEEK in THURBER TONIGHT: "Gentleman from Indiana" and "Lavender with a Difference," Thurber's 1951 appreciations of his late father and still-very-much-living mother, starting Sunday night with the first part of "Gentleman," which on publication in The New Yorker caused a family furor


THURBER TONIGHT (including BENCHLEY TONIGHT,
WILL CUPPY TONIGHT, and now WOLCOTT GIBBS TONIGHT):
Check out the series to date

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Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Wolcott Gibbs Tonight: Part 2 of "One with Nineveh," in which Gibbs has his 25-years-later reencounter with Lucius Beebe

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Lucius Beebe in his reinvented role as a Virginia City, Nevada, newspaper publisher and Western cultural historian

"Mr. Beebe . . . was precisely as vast and stylish as he had ever been, and the years, if anything, had added something senatorial to his aspect. . . . I shuddered to remember that it was sometimes our drunken custom, late at night, in the lost and dissolute past, to address this monument disrespectfully as Lou or Beeb. 'It's nice to see you again, Lucius,' I said, and entered never-never land."
-- Gibbs, in tonight's installment of "One with Nineveh"

by Ken

In last night's first installment of Gibbs's 1956 combination profile-memoir "One with Nineveh," the author introduced us to the phenomenon that was Lucius Beebe, whom I described as "a bon vivant and habitué and chronicler of what he dubbed Café Society," though by the time of Gibbs's first meeting with the great man in a quarter-century, Beebe and his longtime business and life partner Charles Clegg had gone West, resettling in Virginia City, Nevada, and reinventing themselves as something very different -- newspaper publishers and railroad (or perhaps Western cultural) historians -- and yet somehow very much the same: "[J]ust as he did so long ago in New York, Mr. Beebe is intent on imposing an older and more jovial system of manners on a community not always quite sure what is expected of it, and even occasionally hostile."

In this concluding installment, Gibbs -- accompanied by his wife and 16-year-old daughter, who you'll recall was meeting her first millionaire (and remember that in 1956 a millionaire was still, well, a millionaire) -- disembarks on the New Jersey shore and "enter[s] never-never land," where auld acquaintance is renewed.


TO READ THE CONCLUDING INSTALLMENT
OF "ONE WITH NINEVEH," CLICK HERE



TOMORROW in WOLCOTT GIBBS TONIGHT: "Glorious Calvin (A Critical Appreciation)" -- described in the New Yorker archive as "a critical appreciation of Calvin Coolidge as a movie comedian," which first appeared shortly before the inauguration of the new president, Herbert Hoover (according to Gibbs: "a comedian whose work in supporting rôles has displayed a certain similarity")


THURBER TONIGHT (including BENCHLEY TONIGHT,
WILL CUPPY TONIGHT, and now WOLCOTT GIBBS TONIGHT):
Check out the series to date

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Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Wolcott Gibbs Tonight: Part 1 of "One with Nineveh" -- Gibbs's reencounter with Lucius Beebe

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Lucius Beebe in 1939

"At Yale, it was his merry custom, on returning from weekends in New York, to attend his first Monday-morning class in full evening dress, wearing a monocle and carrying a gold-headed cane, and the [Yale Daily] News, stunned by such gloss in a contemporary, reported that 'two hemispheres knew him at nineteen.'"
-- Wolcott Gibbs, in "One with Nineveh" (1956)

by Ken

Curiously, in the New Yorker archive presentation of the issue in which "One with Nineveh" first appeared (March 24, 1956), the piece is identified as "Fiction." Not in the magazine itself, mind you, just in the archival presentation apparatus. In the magazine it appears with no identification or description other than the title at the top and the Gibbs byline at the end. Still, it's abundantly clear that the piece is not fiction. (In the Gibbs anthology More in Sorrow it appears in the section "Some Matters of Fact.") It seems to fall somewhere between a "profile" and a personal history related to the subject.

In this first part of "One with Nineveh," Gibbs recalls his acquaintance with Beebe during his previous incarnation as a bon vivant and habitué and chronicler of what he dubbed Café Society.


TO READ TONIGHT'S FIRST INSTALLMENT
OF "ONE WITH NINEVEH," CLICK HERE


"Situated at the confluence of the Tigris and Khosr, Nineveh was an important junction for commercial routes crossing the Tigris. Occupying a central position on the great highway between the Mediterranean and the Indian Ocean, thus uniting the East and the West, wealth flowed into it from many sources, so that it became one of the greatest of all ancient cities." (crystalinks.com)


TOMORROW in WOLCOTT GIBBS TONIGHT: In the conclusion of "One with Nineveh," Gibbs is welcomed into the Virginia City, the private railroad car of Beebe and Clegg


THURBER TONIGHT (including BENCHLEY TONIGHT,
WILL CUPPY TONIGHT, and now WOLCOTT GIBBS TONIGHT):
Check out the series to date

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Monday, March 14, 2011

Wolcott Gibbs Tonight: "To a Little Girl at Christmas" -- meet Comrade Jelly Belly

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Westbrook Pegler (1894-1969) was, essentially, a professional anti-communist, with a particular anti-union phobia -- and a consuming loathing for Franklin D. (and Eleanor) Roosevelt. Eventually his right-wing views became so extreme that he was invited to disassociate himself from the fanatically right-wing John Birch Society. Wikipedia notes that his "distinctive writing style was often the subject of parody," citing this very piece by Wolcott Gibbs.


"[The future Santa Claus] sat out World War I in a hospital for the criminally insane, having prudently assaulted a six-year-old girl on the very day his draft board invited him to call. He was pardoned in 1919 at the special request of the Assistant Secretary of the Navy, whose name happened to be Franklin Delano Roosevelt, and who even then displayed a strong affinity for the unbalanced."
-- Wolcott Gibbs, in "To a Little Girl at Christmas" (1949)

by Ken

In his New Yorker obituary of Gibbs (which we read last week), E. B. White noted the special pleasure his long-time colleague and friend took in his parodies.
[H]e had absolute pitch, which enabled him to become a parodist of the first rank. The parodies are in a class by themselves: Huxley, Hemingway, Marquand, Saroyan, Lewis, Pegler, Maxwell Anderson, the rewrite men of Time -- a long list. . . . Parody was his favorite form, because it was the most challenging. ("I found them harder and more rewarding to do than anything else.")

The most famous of the Gibbs parodies, no doubt, is his extended 1936 verbal drawing and quartering, "Time . . . Fortune . . . Life . . . Luce," of "ambitious, gimlet-eyed, Baby Tycoon Henry Robinson Luce, co-founder of Time, promulgator of Fortune, potent in associated radio & cinema ventures." We'll sample just a tiny bit of its verbal delights in the click-through.

Comrade Jelly Belly

FOR MORE ON GIBBS'S AMAZING LUCE PARODY
AND TO MEET COMRADE JELLY BELLY, CLICK HERE



TOMORROW in WOLCOTT GIBBS TONIGHT: Part 1 (of 2) of "One with Nineveh," Gibbs's 1956 account of his first meeting in a long while with journalist, bon vivant, gourmand, railroad historian, and publisher Lucius Beebe


THURBER TONIGHT (including BENCHLEY TONIGHT,
WILL CUPPY TONIGHT, and now WOLCOTT GIBBS TONIGHT):
Check out the series to date

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Sunday, March 13, 2011

Wolcott Gibbs Tonight: "The Mantle of Comstock" -- how our self-appointed moral guardians do their dirty work

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"Of the sixteen Protestant clergymen who signed a resolution condemning Dorothy Baker's play called Trio, it appears that only one . . . had bothered to see the darn thing."
-- Wolcott Gibbs, the start of "The Mantle of Comstock"

by Ken

Last week we got a glimpse of one of The New Yorker's most important and yet today little-known writers and editors, Wolcott Gibbs, and got a brief sampling of his own voice in his New York Times remembrance, "Robert Benchley: In Memoriam."

For tonight I promised another Gibbs piece, written as a function of his tenure as theater critic of The New Yorker. (He had succeeded Benchley in the job in 1938.) This piece that doesn't so much give us an authorial voice as make a point that I think resonates pretty loudly down through the fair number of decades that have passed since. The piece, called "The Mantle of Comstock" (1944), is about the way self-styled guardians of morality go about imposing their often-crackpot views of morallity on a public that never asked them.


FOR A "COMSTOCK" REFRESHER AND TO READ
"THE MANTLE OF COMSTOCK," CLICK HERE



TOMORROW in WOLCOTT GIBBS TONIGHT: "To a Little Girl at Christmas" ("How a famous question might be answered if it were asked today and Mr. Westbrook Pegler happened to be writing editorials for 'The Sun'")


THURBER TONIGHT (including BENCHLEY TONIGHT,
WILL CUPPY TONIGHT, and now WOLCOTT GIBBS TONIGHT):
Check out the series to date

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Thursday, March 10, 2011

Wolcott Gibbs Tonight: "Robert Benchley: In Memoriam"

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by Ken

Last night we got a glimpse of one of The New Yorker's most important -- and yet today little-known -- writers and editors, Wolcott Gibbs, and I promised that at some point we would get more than last night's brief sampling of his own voice. I've picked out a piece called "The Mantle of Comstock," about the way self-styled guardians of morality go about imposing their often-crackpot views, which he wrote in his capacity as theater critic of The New Yorker. For tonight I thought we would back up a bit, to the piece he wrote for the New York Times following the death of Robert Benchley (yes, our own Robert Benchley), whom he had succeeded as New Yorker theater critic in 1938.

For starters I've picked out a piece called "The Mantle of Comstock," about the actual mechanics by which religiously inspired self-appointed guardians of public morality do their dirty work of attempting to impose their phony-baloney "morality" on normal people. Since it was written in Gibbs's capacity as New Yorker theater critic, I thought for tonight we would back up and look at a piece he wrote on the occasion of the passing of his predecessor in the job. I love this piece, if only for the opening anecdote.


TO READ GIBBS'S "ROBERT BENCHLEY:
IN MEMORIAM," CLICK HERE



SUNDAY in WOLCOTT GIBBS TONIGHT: "The Mantle of Comstock"


THURBER TONIGHT (including BENCHLEY TONIGHT,
WILL CUPPY TONIGHT, and now WOLCOTT GIBBS TONIGHT):
Check out the series to date

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Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Thurber Tonight: About Wolcott Gibbs

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If the cut-off signature in the lower-right corner of the jacket front looks familiar, it is indeed that of "Chas Addams," who's credited on the inside flap with the jacket design, which as you can see wraps around to the spine.

"Mr. Thurber has . . . a romantic heart that has enabled him to think of his place of business as the most picturesque establishment in publishing history. This is a touching illusion, and I hesitate to correct it."
-- Wolcott Gibbs, in his foreword to the 1958
anthology of his writing, More in Sorrow

by Ken

In last night's concluding installment of the opening chapter of Thurber's The Years with Ross, the author wrote about the aftermath of his transformation from Central Desk editorial "miracle man" to "dime a dozen" writer:
"I became one of the trio about whom [Ross] fretted and fussed continually -- the others were Andy White and Wolcott Gibbs. . . . Once, and only once, he took White and Gibbs and me to lunch at the Algonquin, with all the fret and fuss of a mother hen trying to get her chicks across a main thoroughfare. Later, back at the office, I heard him saying to someone on the phone, 'I just came from lunch with three writers who couldn't have got back to the office alone.'"

I'm not sure how well-known even White would be today if he hadn't found his way into the publishing big time with his children's books (Stuart Little, Charlotte's Web, and The Trumpet of the Swan -- all of which I have to confess I've always found all but unreadable). Gibbs today is hardly known, except in the form of pieces written by people wondering why he's so little known.

Eventually we're going to get around to some of Gibbs's own writing (as everybody who writes about him notes, it doesn't hold up all that well on its own, at least not without a certain amount of context or explanatory background), but tonight, simply in partial answer to the question "Who the heck was Wolcott Gibbs?," we have three documents: short ones by Thurber on Gibbs and by Gibbs on Thurber, and then the obituary White wrote for The New Yorker upon Gibbs's death.


FOR TONIGHT'S CIRCULAR RECOLLECTIONS
OF/BY THURBER, GIBBS & WHITE, CLICK HERE



TOMORROW NIGHT: either a sample of Gibbs's own writing, or some notes on the rift between Thurber and the Whites


THURBER TONIGHT (now including BENCHLEY TONIGHT and WILL CUPPY TONIGHT): Check out the series to date
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Thursday, December 09, 2010

Thurber (et al.) Tonight: The series to date

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Including Woody Allen, Robert Benchley, Bob and Ray, Will Cuppy, Wolcott Gibbs, Ring Lardner, S. J. Perelman, Jean Shepherd, and E. B. White Tonight

Here's what we've had so far in "Thurber Tonight":

Special Edition: At the 6/12/2011 92nd Street Y Thurber "do," Keith O gives a virtuoso performance

"The Pet Department" (from The Owl in the Attic and Other Perplexities [1931] and The Thurber Carnival [1945]), in six installments:
(1), (2), (3), (4), (5), (6)

Fables from Fables for Our Times and Famous Poems Illustrated (1940)
"The Little Girl and the Wolf"
"The Hen and the Heavens"
"The Unicorn in the Garden"
"The Birds and the Foxes"

Fables from Further Fables for Our Time (1956)
"The Cat in the Lifeboat"
"The Fox and the Crow" (plus "Variations on the Theme")
"The Lover and His Lass"
"The Bears and the Monkeys"
"The Grizzly and the Gadgets"
"The Peacelike Mongoose" (in special edition: At the 92nd Street Y Thurber "do," Keith O gives a virtuoso performance)

"My Fifty Years With James Thurber" (preface to The Thurber Carnival)

"The Ladies' and Gentlemen's Guide to Modern English Usage" (from The Owl in the Attic and Other Perplexities [1931])
I. Who and Whom
II. Which
III. The Split Infinitive
IV. Only and One
V. Whether; and VI. The Subjunctive Mood
VII. Exclamation Points and Colons
VIII. The Perfect Infinitive
IX. Adverbial Advice

Short fiction
An extended note on "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty" and "The Catbird Seat," with a link to the full text of "The Catbird Seat"
"The Secret Life of Walter Mitty"

from My World -- And Welcome to It (1942)
"Here Lies Miss Groby"
"A Ride With Olympy"; encore presentation
"The Letters of James Thurber," accompanied by part of an actual 1938 Thurber letter (from The Thurber Letters), on New York City life among "our horrible bunch"

The great correspondence sagas, both from Thurber Country (1953)
"File and Forget"
"Joyeux Noël, Mr. Durning"; encore presentation

more from Thurber Country (1953)
"The Figgerin' of Aunt Wilma"
"A Friend of the Earth"

from Let Your Mind Alone!, and Other More or Less Inspirational Pieces (1937)
1. "Pythagoras and the Ladder"
2. "Destructive Forces in Life"
3. "The Case for the Daydreamer"
4. "A Dozen Disciplines"
5. "How to Adjust Yourself to Your Work")
6. "Anodynes for Anxieties"
7. "The Conscious vs. The Unconscious"
8. "Sex ex Machina"
"No Standing Room Only" (with an explanatory note on the early theatrical career of Vincent Price)

from My Life and Hard Times (1933, included in The Thurber Carnival [1945])
Preface to a Life
1. The Night the Bed Fell; encore presentation
2. The Car We Had to Push
3. The Day the Dam Broke
4. The Night the Ghost Got In
9. University Days
10. Draft Board Nights
A Note at the End

from The Middle-Aged Man on the Flying Trapeze (1935)
"The Greatest Man in the World" read by Keith Olbermann -- Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3
"The Topaz Cufflinks Mystery"
"The Curb in the Sky"

"The Bloodhound and the Bug":
part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5

from The Beast in Me, and Other Animals (1948)
"Look Homeward, Jeannie" (also in Thurber's Dogs [1955])

from The Years with Ross (1959)
1. A Dime a Dozen: part 1, part 2, and part 3

from The Thurber Album (1952)
7. Gentleman from Indiana (appreciation of his father), part 1 and part 2 (including some of Thurber's obit for John McNulty)
8. Lavender with a Difference (appreciation of his mother), part 1, part 2, and part 3

About Wolcott Gibbs (Thurber on Gibbs, Gibbs on Thurber, and E. B. White's New Yorker obituary of Gibbs)

Obituary of John McNulty (from The New Yorker of Aug. 4, 1956), plus Thurber's letter to New Yorker editor William Shawn of July 31, 1956, about the published text

Special Edition: At the 92nd Street Y Thurber "do," Keith O gives a virtuoso performance


WOODY ALLEN
TONIGHT


from Getting Even (1971)
"A Look at Organized Crime"
"Death Knocks," Part 1 and
Part 2
"A Twenties Memory"
"Hassidic Tales, with a Guide to Their Interpretation by the Noted Scholar," Part 1 and Part 2
"The Schmeed Memoirs," Part 1 and Part 2
"Count Dracula," Part 1 and Part 2


BENCHLEY TONIGHT

"My Five- (or Maybe Six-) Year Plan"
"A Little Sermon on Success" [plus video: The Treasurer's Report]
"Back in Line" [plus video: That Inferior Feeling]
"One Minute, Please!" [plus video: How to Be a Detective]
"Why We Laugh -- or Do We?" [plus video: introducing "a man who needs no introduction," from The Sky's the Limit]; August 2016 encore presentation
"How I Create" [plus video: How to Eat]
"How to Get Things Done" [plus video: Home Movies]; June 2016 encore presentation
"Announcing a New Vitamin" [plus video: the start of How to Take a Vacation]
"Down With Pigeons"
"The Bathroom Revolution"
"The Sunday Menace"
"Ask That Man"
"One Set of French Dishes"


BOB AND RAY TONIGHT

Bob and Ray: The Two and Only (Original Broadway Cast recording)
Act I (plus other Bob and Ray goodies)
Sunday, 4/3/11: The Two and Only: Overture; Wally Ballou (Bob) and Hector Lassie (Ray); Introductory remarks; Wally covers a fast-breaking cranberry story in Times Square -- meet Floyd Smith the cranberry man (Ray)
Video clip: Bob and Ray appear with a young David Letterman, part 1
Monday, 4/4/11: World's largest living lizard . . . some kind of lizard? (Komodo dragon expert, plus Gabe Preston calls in from Washington with breaking news)
Video clip: Part 2 of the Letterman appearance
Tuesday, 4/5/11: "Most Beautiful Face" (plus Gabe Preston tries again)
Video clip: First half of a 1952 outing of the 15-minute NBC TV Bob and Ray Show
Wednesday, 4/6/11: Barry Campbell talks about his Broadway opening (and closing) night
Video clip: Part 2 of that TV Bob and Ray Show: an episode of Mary Backstayge, Noble Wife, with Audrey Meadows as Mary B and actress Jessica Culpepper
Thursday, 4/7/11: STOA (Slow Talkers of America)
Video clip (audio only): No Dragnet Here -- The men of Squad Car 119 are just a locked door away from being on the Case of the Ruffled Shirt Bandit

Bob and Ray: The Two and Only: Act II
Part 1: The Larry Lovebreath Show: Dog trainer; Grand Canyon public service announcement; Truffle hunter
Part 2: Classic sports interview -- Biff Burns and Stuffy
Part 3: News in Depth: Gov't bureaucrat Hap Whatney; Unusual political concession speech; David Chetley analyzes the speech (plus video clip of Chet Huntley's Huntley-Brinkley Report signoff)
Part 4: More News in Depth: Announcement for the Treasury Dept.; Corrupt mayor of Skunk Haven, NJ; Return of Gabe Preston with his breaking story
Part 5: Curtain call -- encores: Kiddie menu; McBeebee Twins

from Write If You Get Work: The Best of Bob & Ray (1975)
Foreword by Kurt Vonnegut Jr., who remembers being interviewed for a job by the fellows
"Elmer W. Litzinger, Spy" (plus Bulletin No. 1)
"Emergency Ward"
(plus Bulletin No. 2)
"Spelling Bee," Part 1 (plus Bulletin No. 3) and Part 2 (plus Bulletin
No. 4)
"Lucky Phone Call"


WILL CUPPY TONIGHT

from How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes (1931)
from the Preface
Memoirs of the Jukes Family, or Where We Come In
"The Java Man" (plus background on the Jukes Family)
"The Peking Man"
"The Piltdown Man"
"The Heidelberg Man"
"The Neanderthal Man"
"The Cro-Magnon Man"
"The Modern Man"
How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes, or A Monkey a Day
"The Chimpanzee"
"The Gorilla"
"The Orang-utan"
"The Gibbon"
"The Baboon"
"The Howling Monkey"
"The Lemur"
Mammals You Ought to Know, or Why Be a Rhinoceros?
"The Lion"

from How to Become Extinct (1941)
"Own Your Own Snake"
"Aristotle, Indeed!"

from How to Attract the Wombat (1949)
"Are Wombats People?" (the introductory piece)
"The Wombat"
"More About Wombats"
Pliny the Elder special edition: "The Goose," "The Oyster," and "The Ostrich"

from The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950)
"Alexander the Great"
"Cleopatra"
"Lucrezia Borgia"
Afterword by Thomas Maeder (1984)


WOLCOTT GIBBS TONIGHT

About Wolcott Gibbs (Thurber on Gibbs, Gibbs on Thurber, and E. B. White's New Yorker obituary of Gibbs)

"In Memoriam: Robert Benchley" (New York Times remembrance)

"The Mantle of Comstock"

"To a Little Girl at Christmas" -- meet Comrade Jelly Belly

"One with Nineveh" -- Gibbs's 25-years-later reencounter with Lucius Beebe, Part 1 and Part 2

"Glorious Calvin (A Critical Appreciation)" -- "a critical appreciation of Calvin Coolidge as a movie comedian"


RING LARDNER TONIGHT

Presenting the Master, with "Who's Who -- and Why" and the Preface to "How to Write Short Stories"

It was part of his charm: Prefaces to The Love Nest and The Story of a Wonder Man by Sarah E. Spooldripper

The Young Immigrunts (The road to "Shut up he explained"): Part 1, Part 2 (plus Ring Lardner Jr. on The Young Immigrunts), and Part 3 (plus Ring Lardner Jr.'s excerpts from Daisy Ashford's The Young Visiters, the source of the parody)

You Know Me Al
John Lardner's Introduction (1958): Part 1 and Part 2
Chapter I: A Busher's Letters Home
Part 1, Preface and Jack's letters of Sept. 6 and Dec. 14 and 16
Part 2, The busher reaches the bigs -- March 2, 7, 9, and 16
Part 3: Countdown to Opening Day -- March 26 and April 1, 4, 7, and 10
Part 4: The busher makes his big-league debut -- April 11 and 15
Part 5: A major development for Jack -- April 19, 25, and 29
Chapter II: The Busher Comes Back
Part 1, The busher comes back! -- Jack's letters of May 13 and 20
Part 2: After a two-month silence, Jack has big news for Al -- July 20
Part 3, A surprise for Jack -- August 16
Part 4, Back in the bigs -- August 27
Part 5, Big doings in Detroit -- September 6
Part 6, "Boston is some town, Al" -- September 12
Part 7, Bedford, IN, meets New York, NY -- September 16
Part 8, Rain day in Philly; arrival in D.C. -- September 19 and 22
Part 9, In D.C., it's Jack vs. Johnson -- September 22 and 27
Part 10, The "city serious," and Jack's biggest news yet -- October 3 and 7
Part 11, Reversal(s) of fortune -- October 9 and 12
Part 12, Did you see this one coming? -- October 13 and 14

Bed-Time Stories:
How to Tell a True Princess
Cinderella
Red Riding Hood

Champion (in seven parts):
Part 1 -- We make the acquaintaince of young Michael Kelly
Part 2 -- In Milwaukee, Midge makes connections
Part 3 -- In Boston, Midge makes his mark
Part 4 -- In New Orleans, Midge reads some mail
Part 5 -- Back in his hometown, the champ knows how to deal with a sponger
Part 6 -- Back in Milwaukee, the champ rearranges more old arrangements
Part 7 -- In New York, the champ meets the press
Postscript: How "Champion" and the other stories in How to Write Short Stories (with Samples) found their way into book form

Three New Yorker "Talk of the Town" items about Ring


PERELMAN TONIGHT

from The Most of S. J. Perelman:
Intro to Part I and "Strictly from Hunger," Part 1 and Part 2
Intro to Part II and Acres and Pains, Chapter One, Chapters Two and Three, Chapters Four and Five
How Sharper Than a Serpent's Tooth, Part 1 and Part 2

Perelman the mini-dramatist:
"How Sharper Than a Serpent's Tooth," part 1 and part 2

from Westward Ha!
I. Goodbye Broadway, Hello Mal-de-mer, Part 1 (It started in Philadelphia) and Part 2 (Departure day looms)

from The Swiss Family Perelman
Chapter 1, "Rancors Aweigh"
Part 1 -- Launching yet another journey
Part 2 -- San Francisco-bound
Chapter 2, "Low Bridge -- Everybody Down"
Part 1 -- The journey begins!
Part 2 -- Hooray for Hollywood!
Part 3 -- "Move over, Asia"
Chapter 3, "The Wild Blue Yonder"
Part 1 -- Aboard the S.S. Grover Cleveland
Part 2 -- Putting on the feedbag
Part 3 -- Hawaii to Hong Kong
Chapter 4, "Mama Don't Want No Rice"
Part 1 -- Breaking news!
Part 2 -- "You rat!"
Part 3 -- On the town in Hong Kong


JEAN SHEPHERD
TONIGHT


Radio clips:
Cafe Incident
The Attic
The Great Ice Cream War
of Hammond

Ham Radio, Part 1 and
Part 2

From In God We Trust -- All Others Pay Cash:
Chapter I -- "We Meet Flick, the Friendly Bartender"
Chapter II -- "Duel in the Snow, or Red Ryder Nails the Cleveland Street Kid," Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4


E. B. WHITE TONIGHT

From The Second Tree from the Corner":
Foreword (1954) and Introduction (1984)
"Air Raid Drill" (plus E.B.W. notes on the notes reprinted from The New Yorker's "Notes and Comment" page)
"Afternoon of an American Boy," Part 1 and Part 2
"The Second Tree from the Corner," Part 1 and Part 2
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Monday, March 17, 2003

[3/17/2011] Wolcott Gibbs Tonight: "Glorious Calvin (A Critical Appreciation)" -- the clown prince of screen comedy? (continued)

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Glorious Cal in one of his most hilarious roles (see below)

"As I write this it occurs to me to doubt whether this man, who was known and loved by millions of moviegoers, was essentially a comedian. There was more than a hint of tragedy in the shy little figure staring with solemn bafflement on an inexplicable world. There was a great pathos about him as he went awkwardly and unhappily through the gaudy antics which were so hilariously at variance with his appearance."
-- Gibbs, in "Glorious Calvin (An Appreciation)"

A THING TO REMEMBER ABOUT GLORIOUS CAL --

While he was indeed elected in his own right in 1924, he became president in 1923 when, as vice president, he succeeded Warren G. Harding following the latter's death. That's right, this was a guy who was put on the Republican ticket in 1920 as an afterthought to one of the least competent men elected to the presidency, who despite his shortened tenure established himself as surely -- against some stiff competition -- our most disastrous president before "Chimpy the Prez" Bush. (Chimpy, of course, went out and simply obliterated the competition.)

If you want an example of the gutless editorial "evenhandedness" to which Wikipedia is prone, read this paragraph:
Coolidge restored public confidence in the White House after the scandals of his predecessor's administration, and left office with considerable popularity. As a Coolidge biographer put it, "He embodied the spirit and hopes of the middle class, could interpret their longings and express their opinions. That he did represent the genius of the average is the most convincing proof of his strength." Some later criticized Coolidge as part of a general criticism of laissez-faire government. His reputation underwent a renaissance during the Ronald Reagan Administration, but the ultimate assessment of his presidency is still divided between those who approve of his reduction of the size of government programs and those who believe the federal government should be more involved in regulating and controlling the economy.
The mind boggles. Glorious Cal left office on March 4, 1929. The stock market crashed on Black Thursday, October 24. Luckily for fans of economic catastrophe, the new president, Herbert Hoover, was another small-government enthusiast who fanned that crisis into the Great Depression. Anyone who believes that either of these clowns did anything for "the spirit and hopes of the middle class" is dumber than they were, which is saying a lot.

A NOTE ABOUT THE VERSION WE'RE READING

The text of "Glorious Calvin" that appeared in The New Yorker of Feb. 9, 1929, has notable differences from the version I'm presenting here, from Gibbs's 1958 anthology More in Sorrow. For one thing, the 1929 version is all in the present tense (i.e., "The comic art of Calvin Coolidge is a thing so subtle . . ."), which makes sense, since after all Glorious Cal was still the president. Also, the two versions end significantly differently. The final paragraph in 1929 was:
As this is written I have before me an announcement that Coolidge will leave the pictures in March. His successor, I learn, is to be Herbert Hoover, a comedian whose work in supporting rôles has displayed a certain similarity.
(Gibbs was being playful here. Though in accordance with the old presidential calendar Hoover wasn't inaugurated until March 4 -- it wasn't till FDR's second inauguration, in 1937, that Inauguration Day was moved up to January -- Glorious Cal had announced in the summer of 1927 that he wouldn't run for reelection in 1928, and the Republican nominee to succeed him, Commerce Secretary Herbert Hoover, not at all Cal's choice, had been elected in November.)

Okay, I think we've attended to all the preliminaries. Here, then, is --


Glorious Calvin
(A Critical Appreciation Many Years Later)
[1958 version, from More in Sorrow]

The comic art of Calvin Coolidge was a thing so subtle that it almost defied analysis, for, like all great actors, his was the technique of implication. In fact, in his ability to suggest frustration -- the bitter futility of all living -- by such small things as an eyebrow infinitesimally raised, an incomplete, embarrassed gesture, he was equalled only by the immortal Chaplin, only occasionally approached by Harry Langdon. As I write this it occurs to me to doubt whether this man, who was known and loved by millions of moviegoers, was essentially a comedian. There was more than a hint of tragedy in the shy little figure staring with solemn bafflement on an inexplicable world. There was a great pathos about him as he went awkwardly and unhappily through the gaudy antics which were so hilariously at variance with his appearance. This great sense of the comic value of paradox was never better illustrated than in the magnificent film in which, resplendent in buckskin and feathers, he was created a chieftain of the Blackfeet Indians. While tom-toms beat under a copper sky, naked red bodies circled in a furious dance about a tightmouthed little man with the edge of a stiff white collar showing at the neck of his costume and the toes of sturdy black boots peeping out under the gay fringe at the bottom of his trousers. His expression, which never varied throughout the ceremony, suggested the faintly apprehensive geniality of an elderly gentleman who has been dragooned into a game of Post Office. The effect was irresistible.

This intelligent emphasis on contrast was present in all Coolidge's camera work. I recall happily the film in which, attired in a cowboy suit with "Cal" stenciled across the seat of the trousers (a touch of genius, by the way), he made timid overtures to a faintly derisive steer. Incidentally, an adroit and characteristic touch was added to this picture by a subtitle, reading "COOLIDGE IS AMUSED BY RODEO," which was immediately followed by a glimpse of the comedian, his back turned morosely on the rodeo, staring with horrid dejection at nothing whatever.

Coolidge, ascetic in cap and gown, receiving a degree from the president of a university; Coolidge, in yachting costume, with a vague hint of nausea in his expression, standing at the rail of the Mayflower; Coolidge, in overalls, thriftily chopping kindling against the bitter Massachusetts winter (the glittering nose of an enormous Packard appearing in a corner of this scene was a note of sheer and beautiful idiocy); Coolidge, the fisherman; Coolidge, the President of the United States -- the man's comic sense was unerring and his range apparently infinite.

In passing, it is perhaps worth noting that while, unlike Chaplin, Coolidge varied the major details of his costume with each part, the stiff collar was a constant item. With an unfailing instinct for the incongruous, he chose it as the inevitable label of the urban, the clerkly, the humdrum. Infinitely more subtle than Chaplin's cane, derby, and baggy trousers, it was at the same time far more effective. To take a setting as strange and beautiful as the one used in a picture he made in Georgia -- bearded Spanish oaks, oxcarts, the lovely keening of spirituals -- and in an instant reduce it to absurdity by the introduction of a stiff collar, that was something very like genius.

While Coolidge depended upon simple incongruity for most of his effects, when he did introduce gags they were incomparable. I have in mind a bit, again in the Georgia picture, in which the comedian entered surrounded by secret-service men in business suits, uneasily raised a gun to his shoulder and fired once into the air. A subtitle was then flashed on the screen -- "tribute to a steady hand and a clear eye" -- and the next picture showed us two guides shouldering a long pole, bowed under the weight of a deer, two or three smaller animals which appeared to be raccoons, and several wild ducks. The expression of the comedian's face as he studied this exhibit -- wild surmise succeeded by a nervous and deprecating smile -- I regard as one of the screen's great comic achievements.

Unlike many cinema favorites, the introduction of the talking picture held no terrors for Coolidge. His voice, happily, was perfectly in keeping with the part he has chosen to portray -- dry, nasal, utterly without inflection. The lines, which I am told he made up himself, were miracles of brevity and did much to further the effect of anticlimax upon which his art depended. Again in the Georgia picture there was the moment when the comedian rode onto the scene, seated upon an ancient wooden cart drawn by oxen. His progress through the green tunnel made by the overhanging trees was attended by the wailing of spirituals, the cracking of whips, and the muffled clump of the oxen's hooves. It was a moment of rare, almost intolerable beauty. The cart stopped as it reached the forefront of the picture and the spirituals died away. There was a sudden silence, which was broken by Coolidge's companion, who addressed him in a tone of great deference upon a problem apparently of national importance. . . . "What is your solution of that, Mr. President?"

The comedian smiled nervously, stared at the oxen, but did not reply. His companion tried again.

"What would you think of putting a tax on gasoline?"

This was obviously intended to be facetious, but the comedian considered it with perfect solemnity. At last his face brightened.

"Wal," he said, "I don't think I'd be in favor of that."

The spirituals rose again, and the cart drove on.

When Coolidge left the pictures, he was succeeded by Herbert Hoover, a comedian whose work displayed certain similarities. To the critical mind, however, it was thin and derivative, a self-conscious echo of his predecessor's magnificent technique. I doubt if we shall ever see the Master's like again.


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Sunday, March 16, 2003

[3/16/2011] Wolcott Gibbs Tonight: Part 2 of "One with Nineveh," in which Gibbs has his 25-years-later reencounter with Lucius Beebe (continued)

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Charles Clegg and Lucius Beebe, longtime business and life partners, are waited on by their steward in the "dining saloon" of their 93-foot-long private railroad car, the Virginia City, named for the Nevada metropolis in which they had resettled, assuming the roles of publisher (Beebe) and editor (Clegg) of the weekly newspaper, the Territorial Enterprise. (Taking in the interior of Virginia City the railroad car, Elinor Gibbs, "though a registered Democrat, was nearly beside herself with rapture and stated that she'd like to live there all her life.")

In [Beebe's] fond imagination, everyone in that part of Nevada greets the rising sun with two ounces of bourbon and ends the day prostrate on a barroom floor, and gamblers, prostitutes, and quaint survivals of the roaring past disport themselves with terrible enthusiasm. The paper reports this gaiety conscientiously.
--Gibbs, in "One with Nineveh"


Last night we left Gibbs on the ferry crossing the Hudson River from Manhattan to Weehawken, accompanied by his wife and 16-year-old daughter, to meet Beebe in his private railroad car. Gibbs found himself puzzling over the "astounding amount of effort that had gone into producing" the persona Beebe had created for himself back in the years when he first knew him, setting up the observation that concluded our Part 1: "The object of the whole charade, however, was almost completely inscrutable to me."


One with Nineveh
Part 2

The riddle still persisted twenty-five years later as our ship put in at Weehawken and I led the ladies, twittering like birds, out into the terminal. The car was not hard to find. Red as blood and yellow as scrambled eggs, it lay some fifty yards due west. Its name, Virginia City, was painted on its side, but even without that it would have been unmistakable in that blasted landscape. A pretty toy, a jewel box, a dream on wheels. Mr. Beebe himself greeted us from the observation platform, and I was gratified to note that his culture was still intact. "Welcome to Walden Pond!" he cried.

It is one of the melancholy facts of human experience that memory is a sorry cheat. The mansions of our childhood, revisited, are only houses after all; the mountains, hills; the rivers, little trickling brooks. The great personalities are especially diminished by this unpleasant chemistry, and the arrogant giants we knew are too apt to turn into small and querulous men. My only excuse for introducing this tritest of all reflections is that it was so emphatically not true of Mr. Beebe. He was precisely as vast and stylish as he had ever been, and the years, if anything, had added something senatorial to his aspect. The fact that he had grown a trifle deaf only conferred a special awful distance on him. I shuddered to remember that it was sometimes our drunken custom, late at night, in the lost and dissolute past, to address this monument disrespectfully as Lou or Beeb. "It's nice to see you again, Lucius," I said, and entered never-never land.

*

The magic elegance of the interior of the Virginia City is beyond the descriptive powers of any journalist today, and Mr. Beebe, who has suffered too often from the kind of reporting that attempts to conceal ignorance with levity, has met this problem squarely. As I write, I have beside me a chaste pamphlet, presumably of his own composition, entitled "Vital Statistics of the Private Car 'Virginia City.'" The simple physical facts are easy to compress. The car is ninety-three feet long, weighs a hundred and eighty-five thousand pounds, and consists of a twenty-three-foot observation-drawing room [pictured here; for Beebe's own guided tour, see below -- Ed.], three master staterooms (each with its own toilet facilities), a small Turkish bath, a dining room seating eight, a galley with a fifty-bottle wine cellar, an extra seven-hundred-pound refrigerator on the forward platform, and crew quarters for two. Each room is wired for music, which comes from a mechanism that plays eight hours of uninterrupted tape recordings; there are three conventional telephones to the outside world, and a radio telephone for use when the proprietors are in motion. The car can be carried at the end of any passenger train in the United States at a cost per trip of eighteen first-class fares. When it is on a siding, the daily storage charge is forty cents a running foot. It is capable of generating its own electricity, heating its own water, and disposing of its own waste. Nothing is said about what Mr. Beebe and Mr. Clegg have spent on the Virginia City, but some estimates have set the original purchase cost at two hundred thousand dollars and the remodelling at a hundred and twenty-five thousand more.

These data, though impressive, suggest little of the real splendor of the carriage, and for this I am obliged to turn to the actual phrasing of the script:
The decor is Venetian Renaissance evolved by the Doges of Venice when that country became the richest cultural nation in the world, a decor which was copied in the following centuries by the leading crowned heads of Europe for their palaces, a fine example being the hall of mirrors in the Palace at Versailles [pictured here].

Mr. [Robert] Hanley made a trip to Europe to secure authentic period furniture and fixtures for the car. The crystal chandeliers in the observation-drawing room were purchased in Venice as was the baroque gold cherub mirror over the fireplace. The dining saloon's gold vein diamond paned mirrors were manufactured especially for the car in Italy.

Throughout the car all mouldings and decorative reliefs are of 14K gold leaf, the gold plated lighting fixtures are from France, and the rugs were especially designed for each individual room in the car, hand woven and shot with gold thread.

The ceiling murals were copied from those in the Sistine Chapel in Rome and the paintings on the upper berths in the three master staterooms are scenes of the famed Virginia and Truckee Railway which once ran to Virginia City, Nevada, after which the car is named.

I can think of nothing to add to this except that the artificial logs in the fireplace, fed with propane gas, really burn, though decorously, and that the apparel of the proprietors is worthy of its surroundings. It is not Venetian, but it is the work of patient hands and also liberally shot with gold, Mr. Clegg's watch chain, composed of matching nuggets, being especially rich and strange. In addition to Mr. Beebe and Mr. Clegg, the premises are occupied by a chef, a steward, and an enormous St. Bernard, weighing a hundred and eighty-five pounds. The total weight of all the inmates (Mr. Beebe, two hundred and ten; Mr. Clegg, a hundred and eighty; their two employees, perhaps a hundred and seventy-five apiece; and the dog, as noted) is thus in the neighborhood of half a ton. Unaccustomed to such splendors, my daughter, still barely poised on the threshold of womanhood, could only murmur, "Wow!" My wife, however, though a registered Democrat, was nearly beside herself with rapture and stated that she'd like to live there all her life.

The talk that afternoon, I'm afraid, was hardly up to its jewelled setting. Our hosts were on vacation from Nevada, where they conduct a weekly newspaper, and the conversation dwelt largely on that. This was entertaining in a way, because, just as he did so long ago in New York, Mr. Beebe is intent on imposing an older and more jovial system of manners on a community not always quite sure what is expected of it, and even occasionally hostile. In his fond imagination, everyone in that part of Nevada greets the rising sun with two ounces of bourbon and ends the day prostrate on a barroom floor, and gamblers, prostitutes, and quaint survivals of the roaring past disport themselves with terrible enthusiasm. The paper reports this gaiety conscientiously, and some measure of its success may be gathered from the fact that it has picked up the largest weekly circulation west of the Mississippi and about five hundred and eighty-five thousand dollars' worth of impending lawsuits of one kind and another.

My own tales of the society our hosts had abandoned were in a melancholy minor key. Many of our common acquaintances had died, some picturesquely but more just sorrowfully withering away, unwanted strangers in a new and vulgar world. Others were visibly ailing and could hardly hope to see another spring; still others, like me, had married and produced hostages and lived lives hard to contemplate without a kind of wry hilarity. One of the brightest spirits we had ever known was in jail, having written too many facetious checks.

Mr. Beebe listened sombrely to all this intelligence. "Change and decay," he said. "What are you drinking?"

"Ginger ale," I said with embarrassment, because I had hoped to conceal this humiliating circumstance.

"My God!" he said. "You sick?"

Breeding, however, overcame his horror, and in the end I got the ginger ale. Mr. Beebe himself was drinking Martinis. To my astonishment, they came out of a bottle -- a trade preparation, already mixed. "You like that stuff?'* I asked as he was poured another.

"Not particularly," he said. It developed that gin struck him as faintly disgusting, however served, and he saw no point in making a witches' brew of his own when industry was prepared to do it for him. He was drinking it now, I gathered, as a concession to barbaric Eastern tastes. My wife is still innocently convinced that there are degrees of merit in Martinis, and I could see that she was not favorably impressed with this ultimate sophistication.

Conversationally, as I've said, the gathering never really got off the ground. Mr. Beebe and I were, I think, glad to see each other again, but our paths had been too far apart. I had a feeling that we were characters in two wildly differing comic strips -- his infinitely more colorful and venturesome, mine perhaps a shade more closely related to usual mortal experience. There could be little real communication between a man who clearly regarded his presence in a golden coach on a private siding as a lull between adventures and one who had undertaken a short ride on a ferry only with the deepest misgivings.

We were diverted momentarily by the entrance of the dog, whose name is T-Bone Towser. He is the biggest dog I have ever seen, and, like everything else about the Virginia City, he is somewhat top-heavy with publicity, being, among other things, equipped with a special brandy cask obtainable only at Abercrombie & Fitch. The ladies professed themselves enchanted with him, and in a measure I was, too, though I was not entirely convinced by Mr. Beebe's assurances that he was as gentle as a lamb. His gaze, when it rested on me, was hooded and speculative, and it occurred to me that he was simply biding his time. I was vaguely relieved when Mr. Clegg took him out for a walk.

So our visit wore away. There was a strange peace about it. Enclosed in the golden box, warmed by propane and lulled by Ampex, surrounded by the treasures of older civilizations, we were wonderfully insulated from time and the nagging circumstances of daily life. Once, three proletarian noses were flattened against the window of the door leading out onto the observation platform, and Mr. Beebe rose and snapped down the shade. "They think we're with a circus," he observed genially. "The freaks, probably. It happens everywhere we go."

*

We left shortly after that. Aboard the Utica again, with the lights of Weehawken diminishing behind, I found that my thoughts were rather tedious and ornate, having to do with Mr. Beebe and his symbolic presence on a siding -- and with the presence, by extension, of all my contemporaries on sidings of one kind and another. My companions, however, were troubled by no such immensities. They had had a wonderful time. They had been cheered by the vision of an almost incredibly jaunty past, and they had also, I could see, placed me firmly in the middle of it, a battered survivor of God knows what bygone revelries. Altogether, it had been a singularly rewarding trip and one they were unlikely to forget. They only regretted that nobody had had the presence of mind to swipe a 14K Renaissance ashtray.


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