2018 In Review - Sarah Huckabee Sanders Punches Her Own Ticket To Hell. The Whole World Is Watching, Part 1

by Noah

This marks the first installment of my annual year in review which has been going on for about 10 years now. As I write this, I have no precise idea as to how many installments there will be this year. The news of the ongoing societal debacle just keeps on coming! For this year, I’ve chosen a title that relates to an earlier period of domestic chaos, and, yes, though I realize that not everybody is watching, far more people than the usual number of people are, both outside our borders and within, but not nearly enough to effect any significant change yet. You know what they say about power corrupting. Willful blindness has much the same result.

So now, Part 1. Ordinarily, I would just continue to use or create memes about Sarah Huckabee Sanders just for my Midnight Meme posts, but SHS does deserve special year-end treatment. She does deserve to be one of those freaks who gets singled out just because of who and what she is, and the malignancy that she has made of herself all year. She has to be one of the most completely ludicrous creatures ever to smear the TV screen as she slid across it like a slug in 2018. All year long, she has been an affront to reality. Her complete soullessness and rabid dishonesty are a thing to behold, but only if you have a strong mind and stomach. Was she home-schooled in the art of the lie? If so, she failed but she gets an A+ for effort. She is the face and voice of the Trump administration almost as much as the madman himself. It makes sense to start my year in review with a look at just one of her mind-boggling, breath-sucking statements of lunacy.

Huckabee Sanders is more than just proof of what typical Republicans are. She also leads one to suspect that inbreeding in the Ozarks is not a thing of the past. That would explain a lot but what explains her compulsion to lie. If her boss ever saw that her lying ability almost competes with his, he would can her out of jealousy. It can’t just be the money with Sarah. That would be damning but it has to be more. No, SHS is so far gone or such a malevolent cretin that it has to be more than the money. So, no Sarah, I won’t call you just a tasteless republican whore for Trump. You are much worse than that.

Sarah has pushed it way too far. The final blow came today, a cold day in December when I read this headline in HUFF-PO: Sarah Huckabee Sanders Wants To Be Remembered For Being 'Transparent And Honest'.

I’m so glad I wasn’t drinking anything when I read the above headline. My computer might have short-circuited as I sprayed my drink. Obviously, self-awareness is not one of Sarah’s strong points, if there are any at all. It’s a minor miracle that the Internet can handle her daily statements without crashing down to a week-long halt as it is. But, immediately all sorts of things I myself might want to be remembered for if I was half the lunatic Sarah is rushed to the forefront of my mind. SHS unleashed a torrent from my sub-conscious mind! No, I didn’t think of a thousand ways to kill her. That would be mean, justifiable probably, but mean. I had to make a note of them all. Some of these things are more realistic than others. If she can indulge in such ridiculous requests, so can us all. Here be mine! They are every bit as realistic as her wish to be remembered for honesty and transparency.

• I would like to be remembered for being the first person on the Moon.
• I would like to be remembered even more for being the first person on Mars
• I would like to be remembered as the person who worked out the so far elusive Theory of Everything, the hypothetical all-encompassing framework of all relationships of the physical universe. Sarah Huckabee Sanders might as well be claiming the same thing as the things she claims every day. It would be just as believable.
• I would like to be remembered for coming up with an easy home remedy for curing cancer but then Big PhRMA would kill me so…

OK. That’s it for science. SHS doesn’t believe in science anyway. No one at the Trump White House does. So here are some additional things I’d like to be remembered for. As far, far fetched as they are, they all have more of a chance of actually coming to pass as Sarah Huckabee Sanders or any current White House employee of republican politician for that matter being remembered for honesty; treason and white supremacy views, yes, but honesty? Not a chance.

• I would like to be remembered as the guy who succeeded Roger Maris playing right field for the New York Yankees and breaking his home run record. Oh well, I wasn’t quite old enough at the time anyway.
• I would like to be remembered for being the person who could really get pigs to not only fly but fly coast to coast in 1 hour or less, or maybe magic carpets. That might be more useful.
• I really want to be remembered for attending a Trump rally and, with a wave of my hand, make his hair disappear. Then, with the next wave, all of his clothes, His cult followers would, of course, say how much they love his new clothes.
• I would love to be remembered as the guy who obtained the gift of invisibility and roamed around the White House and the offices of Republican senators and congressmen sending objects through the air, pouring drinks on them as they spoke their bullcrap on live TV, giving them wedgies, etc. Things would get really great when they called in their phony “men of god” in an attempt to rectify the situation.

OK. None of the above from my lists are realistic. See, I am being transparent and honest. Sarah needs to aim a little bit lower. I did that by the time I finished high school. The path she mentions is forever lost to her. Sarah, if you’re reading this (or somebody is reading it to you), it’s not too late to turn over a new leaf in what’s left of your mind. After all, your boss is all about raking.

And speaking of Sarah being an affront to reality: