Hey, Paulie Wolfshit: Here's a coupla ideas that would allow you to move on to "pursuing other opportunities," as the press release is sure to say

As I write, it appears [see below] that the World Bank, its hanging-by-a-thread boss Paulie Wolfshit, and the Bush regime are still locked in hardball negotiations to find a way to get Paulie W the hell out of his chair at the World Bank without having to accept the judgment of the internal report branding him a sleazebag for the contract shenanigans involving his girlfriend, Rosa Klebb [below].

(I know people make fun of her looks, but I think it's amazing that she doesn't seem to have aged a day since From Russia With Love was released in 1964.)

As I understand it, they're trying to find language agreeable to all parties, perhaps along the lines of "mistakes were made." Probably by Bill Clinton.

Actually, I think a little common sense will go a long way here. Off the top of my head, I can think of a solution. No, two solutions.

SOLUTION NO. 1

OK, that World Bank committee report says what it says. What makes Paulie W think anyone's ever going to read it? As long as we all promise not to say anything--and that's a small enough price to pay, isn't it, gang?--then what reason is there to think that, say, prospective future employers will ever find out about it?

Hey, it's not as if any of the other thug-fugitives from the Bush regime have had trouble finding work. After all, anyone who contemplates hiring Paulie W already knows he's a total whackjob when it comes to international affairs, with a pronounced streak of megalomania, right? Aren't there plenty of high-rolling prospective employers already looking for someone with this exact skill set?

SOLUTION NO. 2

Alternatively, we could do it vice versa--and I have to say that the elegance of this solution appeals to me greatly.

You probably noticed that Solution No. 1 depends on nobody ever mentioning Paulie W's, er, indiscreet behavior. How is he supposed to trust that absolutely everybody will stick to the bargain? Who's to say that some yokel in, I don't know, Saint Louis won't stay up late one night and catch Mr. Smith Goes to Washington on TCM and get all fired up with sappy visions of good government?

So what if we do it the other way around? Have the World Bank eat its report and just issue that press release about our Paulie pursuing other opportunities, like maybe searching out countries besides Iraq where we could do the Neocon Shock 'n' Awe Cha-Cha-Cha. Only, in this scenario, we all blab!

We all take on the obligation to tell everyone we know that Paulie W's a sleazoid, and make sure they know to pass it on.

See, it wasn't that hard, once we applied some simple sense!