Tuesday, May 15, 2007

BIG PIG ROAST IN HADES TONIGHT

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One should never speak ill of the dead. I must have missed that lesson; maybe snuck off to a Dodgers game at Ebbett's Field instead of going to Hebrew School when they taught that one. Years later I embarrassed poor Roland who was so excited when we drove down to Yorba Linda to visit the Nixon Library. We waited quietly on line as people filed past. I can't remember the epithet that came out of my mouth, but I do recall a mother covering her childrens' ears. And as I clammed on his grave, I recall Roland hightailing it back into the presidential library.

If Charon can ferry his bloated carcass across the Styx, I'm sure there'll be a huge party in Hell tonight to welcome one of Satan's most effective servants on earth. Jerry Falwell was found dead in his office after a gigantic breakfast featuring all sorts of preparation of pig flesh. I doubt though that the Third Circle of Hell-- Cererus' sweet little eternity where gluttons like Falwell are condemned to live in mud, cold rain and hail falling on them while they eat their own excrement-- will be where he'll wind up. Nor will the Fourth circle-- the materialism circle-- be his final resting place. Nah, the welcome mat is out for ole Jerry at the Eighth Circle (for those guilty of deliberate Evil), either in Bolgia 4 (false prophets, tailormade for him) or Bolgia 5 (corrupt politicians). The false prophets wind up with their heads twisted around facing backwards and the rotten pols spend eternity in a lake of boiling tar. Of course Bolgia 9 would be no stretch either-- an unpleasant little eternity for the sowers of discord. Dante has assigned Muhammad there.


Well, wherever he winds up, one thing is sure, he'll have lots and lots of friends colleagues with him. The Carpetbagger has a great Falwell "Best Of" up online for anyone who doesn't recall why he was widely considered one of the most foul and evil creatures to have been stalking God's earth-- even above and beyond his calumny against Tinky Winky.


UPDATE: AND SPEAKING OF TINKY WINKY...

Jesus' General managed to track him down for a eulogy.

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12 Comments:

At 12:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i love you guys, you tell it like it is!
how come america has so few of you?

 
At 12:18 PM, Blogger TSop said...

Maybe the Purple Teletubby will join Falwell at the Big Pig Roast.

 
At 1:07 PM, Blogger Maya's Granny said...

Tinky Winky will sleep well tonight.

 
At 2:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous:
America has a lot of us - the media just tries to hide us...and stupid people believe the propaganda - but I'm not calling you stupid anonymous - I'm calling the sheeple stupid who have let this happen in our country. Maybe we can prosecute all of these criminals in the government, and also the fat cat corporate whores ruining this country with their greed, and this country will be great again. I agree with you though...it's down the shitter now because of people like this fat bastard and his minions.

 
At 2:47 PM, Blogger Milt Shook said...

Howie... I just republished a short story just for this occasion... it's called Pat & Jerry & Jesus, and if Falwell's lucky, that's what will happen.

All I can say is, he'd better hope that most of the crap he professed to believe in wasn't true.

 
At 2:48 PM, Blogger Milt Shook said...

oops.. meant to leave the URL. Hope you don't mind...

http://miltblog.blogspot.com/

 
At 4:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I smell something burning...

 
At 4:59 PM, Blogger Timcanhear said...

bill, lol....you're killin me man!

 
At 5:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's hard to imagine how someone could be so unremittingly evil for so long. Often, when one reaches an advanced age, one will reevaluate many things, and lighten up on harsh judgments made in earlier days. But not Falwell (nor any of his comrades in hateful religion, as far as I can tell). Nasty to the end.

 
At 2:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Speak the truth, Man, speak the truth. You, quite simply, rock!

 
At 5:17 PM, Blogger toneloook said...

My recollection of Falwell; the world was changing for the better in one issue, Aparthied in South Africa.
Reveren Tutu was touring and educating the world and corporate America came support the cause to not support the South African government and policies. We even had a quite successful rally at CSUF that year. The experience was one of pride in corporate America and American citizens in general; we rose to the cause. Mr. Faldwell's memory of his outspoken support for the South African govenment and policies still remains in my mind as incredibly so wrong; I never forgot Jerry Faldwell.

 
At 12:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

TimCanHear, Thanks, and nice to hear from you. I pop in and out. Blessings!

 

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