When Will Republicans Start Physically Beating Up Women Colleagues?

The story about how a pro-slave fanatic, Rep. Preston Brooks (D-SC) brutally beat an abolitionist, Senator Charles Sumner (R-MA), unconscious on the floor with a cane on the Senate floor in 1856, is well known by anyone who has studied the lead up to the Civil War. Less well known is that by 1858 "partisan tensions over slavery erupted into a 'full-fledged sectional combat on the floor.' This was one year after the U.S. Supreme Court enraged abolitionists by ruling in Dred Scott v. Sanford that black people couldn’t be citizens and the federal government couldn’t ban slavery in western territories. The brawl started around 2:00 a.m. during an overnight session when a southern representative grabbed a northern representative by the throat and said he would teach the 'black republican puppy' a lesson. As the two white men struggled, their colleagues ran over and a fistfight broke out. The end result was a free fight in the open space in front of the Speaker’s platform featuring roughly thirty sweaty, disheveled, mostly middle-aged congressmen in a no-holds-barred brawl, North against South... Acts of violence like this showed how intensely southern congressmen wanted to preserve the economic, political and social power that they and their constituents held through owning slaves. They also presaged the larger fight between North and South that broke out three years later, when southern states seceded and declared war on the Union. After all, civil wars don’t just come out of nowhere."

No, they don't, do they? And yesterday it was cowardly southern dogs, doing what they do best: threatening women colleagues. First it was a concerted attack, led by pig-person Matt Gaetz of the Florida panhandle, demanding that Liz Cheney step down as Republican House Conference chair-- the only woman in the Republican leadership-- for not supporting Trump enough. The whole neo-fascist wing of the House GOP piled on, from Gym Jordan to Louie Gohmert-- and all the scarping from the bottom of the sewer system between. Apparently the anti-mask contingent were all in a huff because Cheney is pro-mask. Jordan and Andy Biggs screeching about her being pro-Fauci and Biggs "accused Cheney of undermining the GOP’s ability to win back the House and said that if someone has a problem with Trump, they should keep it to themselves."

The way the beat down started was weird. Gaetz was bitching about how Cheney supported Thomas Massie's primary opponent before he complained she was supportive of Trump. The problem there is that the person leading the charge against Massie was... Señor Trumpanzee himself. Aside from Jordan, a Confederate at hearts, only southern males attacked her: Gohmert (TX), Chip Roy (TX)-- who is about to be beaten by a woman for his seat and is flipping out-- Ralph Norman (SC)...




Meanwhile two more Southern gentlemen of the radical right, very much like Preston Brooks-- neo-fascist Ted Yoho of Florida and crooked used car salesman Roger Williams of Texas-- accosted AOC and started hurling expletives at her. Neither took a crap in their hands to throw it at her because there were witnesses around. Yoho was heard by a reporter called her a "fucking bitch," Williams chimed in and then when the news broke, they both denied it and called her a liar, refusing to address the problem of the witnesses, let alone apologizing. (This morning, Yoho made a disingenuous non-apology ("I cannot apologize for my passion... the offensive name-calling words attributed to me by the press were never spoken to my colleagues and if they were construed that way...") apology on the House floor. Williams is still claiming nothing happened.)

It's Funny When Republican Crackpots Get Mad At Each Other In Public-- Thomas Massie vs Liz Cheney

Massie and Amash

I don't think I agree with Thomas Massie (R-KY) on almost any fundamental issues. But, unlike virtually all of his Republican colleagues, I recognize that Massie is a principled guy, who acts on his conservative values rather than on the transactionalism that underlies most members of Congress' voting records. A libertarian Republican, he should have packed up and left the Republican Party when his buddy, Justin Amash did. But he didn't; he stayed on the represent the 20 counties in northeast Kentucky-- including the suburbs south of Cincinnati-- that make up the blood red (PVI is R+18) 4th district. This isn't a district that's starting to see the light like most other suburban districts from Georgia through Texas to Orange County, California; it's a district that's actually getting worse:

• Obama, 2008- 37.0%
• Obama, 2012- 34.8%
• Hillary, 2016- 29.3%

In 2016, though, Massie outpolled Trumpanzee. 71.3% of the voters cast their ballots for Massie but just 65.2% went for Trump. In 2018, Massie's share of the vote shrunk, marginally, to 62.2%, not really enough to attract the DCCC. There are two Democrats struggling to win the primary-- Alexandria Owensby and Shannon Fabert who both appear to be centrists-- but the real headlines are all about the June 23rd Republican primary challenge Massie is facing from far right sociopath Todd McMurtry. Massie's libertarian convictions sometime clash with Republican dogma. McMurtry is the kind of guy who follows along with whomever is wielding the right-wing whip. It didn't look like a serious contest-- until Massie opposed the CARES Act in late March, causing Trump to denounce him and incumbent Republicans, who were forced back to plague-ridden Washington-- to flip out. Trump said Massie should be kicked out of the GOP and tweeted that he's a "third rate grandstander." Aside from Amash, a handful of libertarian-leaning Republican defended him publicly-- Chip Roy and Paul Gosar being two standouts. But they were in the minority.

Liz Cheney (R-WY), a member of the GOP leadership, and Mike Turner (R-OH) were both so infuriated-- that they had to come back to DC-- that they each contributed to McMurtry's campaign before they realized that he's a KKK sympathizer (if not an actual member). A few Republican members denounced Cheney and Turner for coddling the racist and both Cheney and Turner asked McMurtry to return their campaign contributions.

As of December 31, Massie had raised $803,738 and McMurtry had raised a competitive $320,797. (Neither of the Democrats had hit even $30,000.) The two Republicans released negative, dueling Trump-asskissing ads. This is McMurtry's:





And here's Massie's:

Midnight Meme Of The Day!

by Noah

I'd rather she just shot her father in the face.

A Very Stable Genius?

Beltway crackpot and chip off the Dick-and-Lynn-Cheney block, Liz Cheney, was on Meet The Press yesterday to assure Trump that she's a better friend of his than her antagonist Rand Paul. "When you look at the situation that President Trump inherited," she told Chuck Todd, "when he came into office, when you look at what we had seen happen, for example, across Iraq and Syria, when President Obama withdrew precipitously based on a political timetable. We had the rise of the caliphate. We had the rise of ISIS. President Trump's decision making and leadership changed that. One of the most important things this president has done is dedicate the resources necessary to begin rebuilding our defense department, rebuilding our military. Under Barack Obama, you had eight years, where our military did not get the resources it needed, while our adversaries built, deployed, and in some cases now, have weapons systems that we cannot defend against. So there's no question but that the world is safer, that we're in a situation where American leadership has come back. And it's important that we continue, continue down that path... Ambassador Bolton has served his nation honorably in a number of positions. But this president, any president, has the right to have the people around him he decides. The only people who are elected, in the West Wing, are the president and the vice president. And everybody else is staff. They serve at the pleasure of the president, the same with all the cabinet officials. So I think that's very important to point out. Secondly, I would say, there is no question but that the world is a very dangerous place, that America faces a very grave and complicated global threat environment. I think it's more dangerous than at any time since the end of World War II. But the way in which we are responding to that, the way in which we're dealing with it, the extent to which, for example, President Trump has been willing to walk away from dangerous deals, when he came into office, the United States was a party to the Iran Nuclear Accord. The United States was a party to the INF treaty. Both of those agreements were agreements that made us less safe. The INF treaty only restricted the United States, because the Russians cheated, and it didn't restrict the Chinese. The JCPOA, as we now know, the Iranians have continued to cheat, will continue to cheat. And then of course, we saw this horrific attack yesterday on the Saudi oil facilities."

Liz and Rand should be locked in a room together for a year or two

When Todd asked her if we need any proof it was the Saudis, she ignored the question and just continued saber-rattling, calling it "a very significant escalation. And I would say we ought to do several things. First of all, I would say we should deny the visas for the Iranian delegates who are planning to come into the United States, come to New York next week for the UN General Assembly... Secondly, I think, as her first step as our new UN ambassador, Kelly Craft, who's a terrific new UN ambassador, ought to offer a resolution for snapback sanctions to say, listen, it's very clear the Iranians, because of a number of things we've seen recently, including the secret warehouse that the Israelis found and revealed, where it's clear that they have now begun and continued their enrichment activities, expanded their enrichment activities. They're operating in total violation of the Iranian Nuclear Deal. And we ought to have those sanctions snapped back. I think that, you know, when you have entities like the Iranians, like the Taliban, who continue to attack American interests, as the Iranians are doing, who continue to kill Americans, as we've seen in the case of both the IRGC, as well as the Taliban and their ally Al Qaida, it's very important for us to send the message: you have to choose. You can either do diplomacy, or you can attack America and attack our interests. But we know you're not serious about diplomacy, if you continue to have the kinds of attacks we've seen over the last few days." She kept going... a loud, ugly voice for the neo-cons still trying to stoke up a war with Iran.

Yesterday's Guardian featured someone far more sane and rational than Liz Cheney will ever be. In his OpEd, Trump is seriously, frighteningly unstable-- the world is in danger, Robert Reich wrote that neither the 25th Amendment nor Pelosi-style faux-impeachment is going to solve anything-- only a massive turnout in November 2020. Like many of us, he recognizes that Trump has flipped his wig. (So has Biden, but not as badly yet.) "In retrospect, he wrote, "what’s most disturbing about “Sharpiegate” isn’t Trump’s clumsy effort to doctor a National Weather Service map or even his brazen move to get the same agency to lie on his behalf. It’s how utterly petty his motive was. We’ve had presidents trying to cover up a sexual liaison with an intern and a botched burglary, but never have we had one who went to such lengths to cover up an inaccurate weather forecast. Alabama being hit by a hurricane? Friends, this is not rational behavior. Trump also cancelled a meeting with the Taliban at Camp David. The meeting was to have been secret. It was scheduled for the week of the anniversary of 9/11. He cancelled it by tweet. Does any of this strike you as even remotely rational? Before that, Trump cancelled a state visit to Denmark because Denmark wouldn’t sell Greenland to the US. Hello? Greenland wasn’t for sale. The US no longer buys populated countries. The state visit had been planned for months. He has repeatedly told senior officials to explore using nuclear bombs to stop hurricanes hitting the US. He believes video games cause mass shootings. He thinks climate change is no big deal. He says trade wars are “good and easy to win”. He insists it’s Chinese rather than US consumers who pay his tariffs. He “orders” American firms to stop doing business in China. He calls the chairman of the Federal Reserve an “enemy.” He retweets a comedian’s sick suggestion that the Clintons were responsible for the suicide of convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein."

I think we have to face the truth that no one seems to want to admit. This is no longer a case of excessive narcissism or grandiosity. We’re not simply dealing with an unusually large ego.

The president of the United States is seriously, frighteningly, dangerously unstable. And he’s getting worse by the day.

Such a person in the Oval Office can do serious damage.

What to do? We can vote him out of office in 14 months’ time. But he could end the world in seven and a half seconds.

There’s also the question of whether he’ll willingly leave.

Can you imagine the lengths he will go to win? Will he get Russia to do more dirty work? Instruct the justice department to arrest his opponent? Issue an executive order banning anyone not born in the US from voting? Start another war?

By the time the courts order him to cease whatever unconstitutional effort he’s making to remain in office, the election may be over. Or he’ll just ignore the courts.

It’s almost too late for an impeachment. Besides, no president has ever been sent packing. Nixon resigned because he saw it coming. Trump would sooner start a civil war.

Also, being unstable is not an impeachable offense.

Two Republicans who have announced primary challenges to him have suggested another possibility: the 25th amendment.

Former Massachusetts governor Bill Weld recently tweeted that Trump is “a clear and present danger” to the US, with the hashtag “#25thAmendment.” Former Illinois representative Joe Walsh says the amendment should be “looked at.”

...Pray that we make it through the next 14 months. Then do everything in your power to remove this man from office.

Rand Paul vs Liz Cheney

For the last few days, Rep. Liz Cheney (R-WY) and Senator Rand Paul (R-KY) have been bashing each other on Twitter. Yesterday their Twitter feud spilled over to the press and even TV... at least in Wyoming, where Paul called into KTWO to slap Liz around a little (video above). Paul: "I really think that the Western Republicans, the ones that I’ve met in Wyoming and the ones I’ve met throughout the West, are very, very independent. They’re tired of spending $50 billion a year in Afghanistan. They’re tired of building roads in Afghanistan. They’re tired of $45 million gas stations in Afghanistan and $90 million hotels. I think a lot of people in Wyoming would rather see that money spent at home."

So... what's this all about? Cheney is one of the most despised politicians in Washington, a truculent asshole very much like her parents. She chairs the the House Republican Conference, the third-highest position in GOP House leadership and has reinterpreted the job to "vicious Republican attack dog." Mike Mike Enzi retiring next year, she's been threatening to give up her at-large House seat and move over to the Senate. That primary is already starting to look like a real circus, featuring former far right crazy Congresswoman Cynthia Lummis, crackpot billionaire Foster Friess, and every Republican politician from the most right-wing state who doesn't have a job at the moment. Republican senators would rather she stay in the House, although no one is especially enthusiastic about anyone lining up to replace the popular and well-liked Enzi, who also detests Cheney.

This brouhaha between Paul and Cheney started in midweek when he called her and her father warmongers and she responded by tweeting that he puts "terrorists first, America second." He's already endorsed her probable Senate opponent, Lummis. Friday morning Politico reporter Melanie Zanona penned a column, Liz Cheney throws lighter fluid on feud with Rand Paul, so that everyone in DC who wasn't already following this now can. Yesterday, at the GOP House retreat she noted that "There are issues surrounding whether you put America first, as Trump does, or if you blame America first, as Rand Paul does and has for years."

Not to be outdone, Paul on Friday afternoon tweeted: "Few people have been as wrong on foreign policy over the last few years as the neocons and @Liz_Cheney. The Twitter exchange represents a real and significant debate on the future of our foreign policy between realists like myself and #NeverTrumper neoconservatives like Cheney."

The spat comes days after the ouster of Trump’s hawkish national security adviser John Bolton, which has prompted a round of jockeying among the GOP’s hawks and doves to bend the president’s ear on foreign policy. And it also comes after Trump said last weekend he canceled secret peace talks with the Taliban that were planned for Camp David.

Paul, a libertarian senator from Kentucky, fired the first shot, sharing an article criticizing Cheney and asking why “neocons continue to advocate for endless wars.” Cheney, an interventionist-minded member of the Armed Services Committee, hit back, saying, “I stand with @realDonaldTrump and our men and women in uniform who will never surrender to terrorists, unlike @RandPaul, who seems to have forgotten that today is 9/11.”

The fight then devolved, with Cheney jabbing Paul about being a "big loser" in the 2016 primary and Paul's top aide stepping in to call Cheney a "chickenhawk." And Paul himself trolled Cheney with a thread highlighting all the times Cheney has split with Trump, an effort seen by some of Cheney’s allies aimed at damaging her prospects in a potential Senate bid.

...The feud between Cheney and Paul runs deep. Their fathers-- former Vice President Dick Cheney and failed presidential candidate and former Rep. Ron Paul-- served alongside each other in the House and disagreed over foreign policy issues.

Sometimes You Can Learn A Lot About Legislators From Their Votes On Obscure Amendments: Liz Cheney And Collin Peterson

Liz Black Lung Cheney (R-WY)

The Republicans passed, 237-187, the REINS Act— Regulations from the Executive in Need of Scrutiny Act of 2017— Thursday night. The bill requires Congress to approve every major executive regulation, which sounds like a good idea when you think about Trump but stopping Trump wasn’t what the Republicans had in mind when they came top with it several years ago. The bill targets environmental, public health, and consumer safety laws and, as we reported over the years. It first passed on December 7, 2011, every Republican plus 4 right-wing Blue Dogs voting for it. Three of the right-wing Blue Dogs— John Barrow (GA), Dan Boren (OK), and Mike McIntyre (NC)— have since been put out of their misery, politically-speaking, but Collin Peterson (MN) voted it for it back then… and every time the GOP has broke it top since then, including last night. Last night, though, he was joined by another far right Blue Dog shitbag, Henry Cuellar (TX).

When it passed on July 28, 2015, it was then too, all the Republicans united against regulations with their two amigos, Peterson and Cuellar. At the time, Ted Lieu (D-CA) called it “a radical, potentially unconstitutional House Republican-authored bill that guts the ability of federal agencies to establish rules protecting food safety, clear air, clean water and other crucial common-sense safeguards. The Reins Act is strongly opposed by a broad range of consumer, health, environmental, labor, scientific, and public interest groups… This bill is a blatant attempt by House Republicans to create another hurdle for the Administration to protect the environment and to act boldly on a foremost issue of our time-- combating climate change. Under the Clean Air Act, the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) will soon implement the final rule of the Clean Power Plan, a critical rule to protect the environment and public health and to strongly curb climate change-inducing pollution. The REINS Act would implement a new hurdle for the EPA to implement this crucial rule.“

Last night the Republicans— plus Peterson and Cuellar— passed it again and Lieu noted that “by requiring Congress to approve of major rules, Republicans are unabashedly preventing the Administration from protecting the environment, public health, and consumer safety. More troubling is that Republicans rejected several important Democratic amendments, including ones to reduce lead in drinking water and protect low-income communities from carbon pollution. The Senate should reject this unnecessary and harmful legislation.”

There were, in fact, 10 amendments that had roll call votes, 2 by Republicans— including an especially ominous one by Steve King that “establishes procedures for agencies and Congress to comprehensively review existing federal rules and sunset unnecessary rules.” that both passed, and 8 by Democrats, which were all defeated.

Pelosi and Hoyer managed to keep the Democrats relatively united against the GOP yesterday, relatively because Collin Peterson voted with the Republicans over and over, on amendment after amendment, the only Democrat, for example, to oppose Raul Grijalva’s amendment to exempts from the bill rules that would increase carbon emissions or specified adverse health impacts in low-income or rural communities.” Even 5 Republicans— Brian Fitzpatrick (PA), John Katko (NY), Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (FL), Lloyd Smucker and Elise Stefanik (NY)— crossed the aisle and voted with the Democrats on that.

The last of the Democratic amendments was by Bobby Scott (VA) and it was referred to as “the Black Lung” amendment, aiming to exempt from the bill Occupational Safety and Health Administration and Mine Safety and Health Administration rules intended to prevent or reduce the incidence of traumatic injury, cancer, or irreversible lung disease. Even Peterson voted for this one. It was interesting, though watching congressmembers who represent big coal-mining districts. Two of West Virginia’s 3 members— Evan Jenkins and Dave McKinley— voted with the Democrats, as did Colorado’s Scott Tipton. But Alex Mooney (R-WV) didn’t seem too give a damn about coal miners in his district. And neither did the Republican freshman who represents the district that produces more coal than anywhere else in the U.S.— welcome to Congress, Liz Cheney (R-WY), who voted for miserable deaths for her own constituents yesterday in order to keep her new voting record ideologically pure.

Crackpot Utopia: The Year in Republican Crazy, Part 8

• Things to come: Forward into the past! (11 Presidential Dream Tickets)
• Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 9: Former republican VP nominee Paul "Crazy Eyes" Ryan
• Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 10: Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association


You Can't Make This Stuff Up Dept.: On FOX "News" for March 3, "America's Mayor" makes known his preference for Vladimir Putin over President Obama: "Putin makes a decision, and he executes it, quickly. . . . That's what you call a leader." (See Presidential Dream Ticket #2.)

Crackpot Utopia: A dream world as envisioned by republicans; a manifestation or expression of the deranged, warped alternate universe inhabited by republicans, at least in their minds. See also: Bachmannism, Boehneresque.

by Noah

1. Things To Come: Forward Into The Past!

In the last installment of "Crackpot Utopia," I went on about how the 2016 Republican Primary Freak Show has already begun in 2014 with the absolute nuttery of Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal, a man who is so highly thought of in republican minds that he is considered presidential material and was once even given the honor of presenting the annual on-air rebuttal to President Obama's State of the Union speech.

Did you think that the last presidential election cycle's republican primary season was the biggest freak show you'd ever seen? Well, it seems that this event gets freakier every time, as many of the old faces, and some new ones, start jockeying for position.

Since it's already begun, I've decided to take the leap and take a guess at what the Crackpot Party and their media allies will be touting as their Ideal Republican Presidential Tickets and Slogans!

Are the following really all that far-fetched? Are they ravings of a fantasist, perhaps? Well, to understand crazy, it helps to adopt a bit of crazy and try to put your mind in the crackpot mode, so . . . always remember that to the republican mind, what you are about to read is completely rational and logical. These people are thought quite normal and are perfectly acceptable candidates for Leader of the Free World -- if and when you look through republican eyes. In fact, to republicans these Dream Tickets are the inevitable wonderful result of the entire 6000 years of human history.

Presidential Dream Ticket #1: Palin-Zimmerman
"Straight-Shootin' Common-Sense Solutions"


Begone, Joe the Plumber (already designated Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 5)! Now Sarah will team up with an even more appropriate "Country First"-er, George Zimmerman.

Sarah and George -- perhaps America's two biggest attention whores on one ticket! Secession meets "stand your ground." Nice conflict, eh? First campaign stop will be Jefferson Davis State Park in Kentucky. Last campaign stop will be the loony bin, if they don't kill each other first, although once they get an endorsement from O.J. Simpson, their campaign will be toast.

Presidential Dream Ticket #2: Vladimir Putin-Vlad the Impaler
"Bare-Chested Men of Action!"


Meet the man behind Dracula: Vlad the Impaler.

Think about it: Who better represents republican feelings toward gays and poor people? So many repugs, especially those on FOX, adore Putin; Rudy Juliandrews is on record as wishing he was our leader instead of President Obama. Yeah, I know that neither of the fine republican icons on Dream Ticket #2 was born in the U.S.A., but republicans will use their belief that President Obama wasn't either as a twisted precedent. The problem with Vlad the Impaler being dead for centuries? It's the thought that counts.

Presidential Dream Ticket #3: Cheney-Cheney
"Have a Heart? No, Really, Have a Heart?"


Smile, Dick 'n' Liz! Oh, you are smiling?

It's Dick and Liz! No, not Burton and Taylor. Something else entirely, and much, much crazier.

Presidential Dream Ticket #4: Bush-Bush
"Had Enough?"


Where's Marvin? L-to-r: Neil Bush, George W. Bush, "Poppy" George H.W. Bush, and John Ellis Bush (aka Jeb)

Jeb and either Marvin or Neil, the brothers behind the scenes. Could Jeb win Florida if all those crackers found out his real name isn't Jeb? More importantly, do countries and empires commit suicide? Yes, they do. Such things have been going on at least since ancient Egypt, the Romans, and a myriad of European monarchies. If America were to elect another son of America's biggest crime family, then history will have repeated itself yet again. Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Be forewarned.

Presidential Dream Ticket #5: Santorum-Mr. Rogers
"It's a Good Day in the Neighborhood!"

Rick and… does Mr. Rogers even have a first name? [Yes, it's Fred. -- Ed.] Can you tell them apart? I have to be honest. I can't. The only thing is that I've never heard Mr. Rogers talk about banning contraception. Imagine them in matching sweater vests replete with those nifty Seal of the Office of… badges. Can you say "Good morning Mr. President"?

Presidential Dream Ticket #6: Kelly-Hannity
"Santa's white; Jesus is white; anyone that matters is white"

Why not two of FOX's leading white supremacists, Megyn 'n' Sean? Is that a winning slogan or what? Such a ticket is the dream of the old, white "Get off my lawn" set. Expect former L.A. Clippers owner Donald Sterling to contribute big racist bucks to this one!

Probably Hannity won't like playing second fiddle to one of them female critters. But Republicans generally will be able to forgive the fact that Megyn Kelly is of the female persuasion and enjoy fantasizing of her baking nice warm cookies in the big white house. The party has proven that they will occasionally accept nonwhite males as long as they are even more out-to-lunch than the usual insane republican. Her "I'm a victim" card-playing is also just the kind of thing that tugs at the strings of their blackened hearts.

This ticket is also the logical end game of years of FOX insanity. For Hannity, with his audience dying off and his ratings spiraling down to earth like an old biplane with a dead engine, there's likely to be a job hunt coming soon. If he doesn't get the VP gig, he'll be left with a choice of cutting ribbons at Chinese auto factories or forming a cruise line called KKK Kruises and burning crosses on the high seas for the rest of his deranged, hate-filled days.

Presidential Dream Ticket #7: Hannity-Bundy
"Let Me Tell You About the Negro!"


Stephen Colbert sings "The Ballad of Cliven Bundy": "His land belongs to you and me. That's what he told Sean Hannity." (The video segment is below.)

Not to pick on Hannity too much, but actually I don't think that's possible. I have to say I'd rather see large birds picking at him in the hot sun of Death Valley instead of me, but why wait for that?

This already-paired ticket is a natural and may appeal to more Republicans than the team of Sean and Megyn, for many reasons, not the least of which is that Megyn Kelly is a, well, you know, as I said, one o' dem woman critters. Not to worry, in the republican house there are many racists. That Hannity and Bundy share a mutual love for the ages that even surpasses Cranky McCain and Lindsey Graham will help with party fanatics, but, even more than that, pairing a barely closeted white supremacist with the "Let me tell you about the Negro" guy should be downright inspiring to rebubbacans everywhere!



Presidential Dream Ticket #8: McConnell-Graham
"Let's Dress Up, America!"

Yeah, Ol' Cranky McCain will be the jealous, fuming odd man out in this triangle as Mitch walks down the aisle with Lindsey, but he'll always have the memories of those wonderful nights of Palin's pillow talk about secession and her bomb-making secessionist buddy Joe Miller.

Presidential Dream Ticket #9: Cruz-Perry
"Texas Squared!"

None other than the brilliant Glenn Beck regards Ted Cruz as the next Ronald Reagan. You can't get a better endorsement than that! Sure, most republicans would rather just dig up the real Reagan and reanimate him. After all, zombies are hot these days. As to putting Perry on the ticket? Well, if you're a repug, why not? Republicans like David Carney, top adviser to then-candidate (now-Texas Gov.-elect Greg Abbott) thought Abbott's opponent, Harvard-educated lawyer Wendy Davis, was "too stupid to be Governor." So they must think Perry is a genius who was elected and reelected to the position.

Presidential Dream Ticket #10: Robertson-Robertson
"Who's on Top?" (this one is interchangeable)

The only question: Would Duck Dynasty's Phil, who says among other things that AIDS was sent from God as a punishment, and also believes the old republican chestnut about being gay being the slippery slope to bestiality, be the top, or would geezer Reverend Pat be? (Republicans sure seem to spend a lot of time thinking about sex with animals, don't they?)

Does it matter which Robertson tops this ticket? Either way it's "A Dynasty of Robertsons." This ticket is a match made in republican heaven and normal people's hell. Republicans consider both men to be godly and nonjudgmental men. Newtie once said of Phil Robertson:

He talks very specifically about not being judgmental toward anybody. . . . There's sections there [in his sermon] where he sounds like Pope Francis.

Duck Boy is not judgmental? Well, Newtie's cheese fell off the cracker long ago. Seeing certifiables like Rudy Giuliani, Herman Cain, and Rick Santorum get more love from republican primary voters probably pushed him off the final precipice. Not judgmental? Yeah, coulda fooled me. Here's Duck Boy preaching from the pulpit of the dark heart:



Sounds and looks more like bin Laden to me. Maybe I should just do a bait-and-switch on Duck Boy and make him run with Pat from Saturday Night Live instead of Pat Robertson. The confusion and consternation about his new running mate would make him explode.

And last, but certainly not least:

Presidential Dream Ticket #11: Rand Paul-Darrell Issa
"Benghazi, Benghazi, Benghazi to the End of Time!"

If this ticket wins, one day President Rand Paul will mysteriously disappear. It could happen in one of two ways. Either the presidential limo will be stolen with him in it, driven to New Jersey and pressed into one of those shiny metal cubes, or the White House will be burned to the ground, under very suspicious circumstances. Ladys and Gents, meet President Issa.


2. Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 9: Former republican VP nominee Paul "Crazy Eyes" Ryan, who has his own "Let me tell you about the Negro" moment:

We have got this talespin of culture, in our inner cities in particular, of men not working and just generations of men not even thinking about working or learning the value and the culture of work, and so there is a real culture problem here that has to be dealt with.

Oh yeah, there's a culture problem all right. It's the culture of being a republican and the innate racism that goes with that. Paul "Crazy Eyes" Ryan adheres to that old "lazy, shiftless Negro" meme. They even use it on President Obama whenever he takes a vacation. How many days a year do you and your lazy-ass, do-nothing congressional colleagues work, Paulie? Congress worked a grand total of 135 days in 2014, with no productivity to show for it. Of course, work to people like Ryan consists of badgering people for handouts of free campaign cash. They do panhandling on a galactic scale for "a living." Who the hell are you to talk, a-hole?


3. Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 10: Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association

The bottom line is that if Hillary Clinton becomes president in 2016, she will not only be our first female president, she could be our first lesbian president.

Well, yeah, I guess since all the other presidents have been men the chances of any of those particular presidents having been lesbians is way down. So, if a woman does get elected, the chances do increase somewhat.

Glenn Beck went even further with this notion of a lesbian in the Oval Office.


Sez Glenn: "Hillary Clinton will be having sex with a woman on the desk in the White House if it becomes popular."

Republicans sure get all riled up about this sex stuff. It's some sort of republican OCD thing.


TOMORROW IN PART 9: Pompous Blowhard of the Year Award: Bill O’Reilly; FOX "News" announces new spinoff: The FOX Benghazi Shopping Channel!; Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 11: DiGiorno Pizza

NOAH'S 2014 IN REVIEW --
Crackpot Utopia: The Year in Republican Crazy

Part 1: Princess Liz Cheney tries for the Smoothie of the Year Award; "Miss Beck regrets" -- Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 1: Glenn Beck; and the Crackpot Party reacts to President Obama’s State of the Union speech [12/19/2014]
Part 2: Republicans wonder why normal people call them racists; Sean Hannity wants to self-deport; and the First Annual Mr. Burns Award, to ABC "shark" Kevin O'Leary [12/20/2014]
Part 3: Using fear, loathing, and paranoia to sell stuff; Arizona legalizes crack!; and Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 3: Bill O’Reilly [12/21/2014]
Part 4: A celebration of Michele Bachmann: Pray away the crazy?; What "War on Women"?; and the "Obama angle" on Malaysian Flight 370 [12/22/2014]
Part 5: The GOP and the kiss heard 'round the world; Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 5: Joe the Plumber [12/23/2014]
Part 6: A word about South Carolina; Pat Robertson and his magic asteroid; and I'll have a pack of Twizzlers and an IUD to go, please [12/24/2014]
Part 7: And so it begins: The running of the buffoons; Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 7, George Will has no idea what rape is; and Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 8, Rick Wiles calls for a coup [12/29/2014]
Part 8: Things to come: Forward into the past! (11 Presidential Dream Tickets); Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 9: Former republican VP nominee Paul "Crazy Eyes" Ryan; Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 10: Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association [12/30/2014]
Part 9: Pompous Blowhard of the Year Award: Bill O’Reilly; FOX "News" announces new spinoff: the "FOX Benghazi™" Shopping Channel!; Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 11: DiGiorno Pizza [12/31/2014]
Part 10: Newsmax -- Beyond Drudgery; and Crazyspeak of the Year nominees Nos. 12 and 13: Michele Bachmann, Kimberly Guilfoyle [1/1/2015]
Part 11: GOP and FOX whip up the hate over a POW exchange; and Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 14: Iowa asylum escapee Rep. Steve King [1/3/2015]
Part 12: Arizona Republican protests busload of YMCA campers; Crazyspeak of the Year nominee(s) No. 15: the Impeachment Variations (group nomination); Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 16: NM Rep. Steve Pearce [1/4/2015]
Part 13 (and last): TV for Dummies: Sarah Palin launches her own channel; Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 17: Arizona schools superintendent John Huppenthal (rhymes with Neanderthal); and the final Crazyspeak of the Year nominee -- and also the winner! [1/5/2015]

NOAH'S 2013 IN REVIEW --
A Prayer to the Janitor of Lunacy

For listings and links, see Part 1 of this year's series.

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Crackpot Utopia: The Year in Republican Crazy, Part 1

• Princess Liz Cheney -- 2014's Smoothie of the Year?
• "Miss Beck regrets" -- Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 1
• And the Crackpot Party reacts to President Obama's SOTU

The Curious Case of the Princess and the Senator (see No. 1)

Crackpot Utopia: A dream world as envisioned by republicans; a manifestation or expression of the deranged, warped alternate universe inhabited by republicans, at least in their minds. See also: Bachmannism, Boehneresque.

by Noah

1. Princess Liz Cheney tries for the Smoothie of the Year Award

Since we're talkin' about crazy crackpot folks, why not start back in early January with the Cheney Princess, Liz, and her surprising -- and then surprisingly brief -- candidacy for the office of U.S. senator from Wyoming, the old home state of her Dr. Strangelovean Daddy Dick. Liz coulda been a contenda, or at least she thought so . . . at least for a while.

First, for purposes of frame of reference, here's a sample of Princess Liz speaking the crazy via Twitter:

Rarely do I disagree with best VP ever* but @SarahPalinUSA is more qualified than Obama and Biden combined. Huge respect 4 all she's done 4 GOP.
-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -
* "Best VP ever" = Daddy Dick -- Ed.

You see, incumbent republican Sen. Mike Enzi (there are only republicans in Wyoming) was thinking of retirement. All Dark Princess Liz had to do was be gracious, courteous, and professional, or even just one of those three, and go ask him if the rumors were true and say that, if so, she would like to run for his seat. If he said that yes, he wanted to retire, she could ask for his blessing which those in the know say would have come.

But nooo! The arrogance apple doesn't fall far from the tree. She just called Senator Enzi and let it be known that she was going to run against him in the republican primary. That didn't sit well with the senator, who went all "Nobody's gonna push me out -- screw you!" on Princess Liz's royal ass. Strike One!

Now, the citizens of Wyoming happen to like Old School things, such as respect for elders, class, and earning your stripes, so Liz's bull-in-a-china-shop approach just didn't play in her state, especially when it turned out that Wyoming wasn't even really "her" state. That became clear when she thought she'd put a veneer of "local" on herself and apply for a Wyoming fishing license. She also bought a $1.9 million mini-castle in Jackson Hole, a place that real Wyoming folks regard as Hollywood East. She even bought brand-new boots and squeaky brand-new blue jeans to "look the part," and claimed to be a resident, but it turned out that Beltway Liz hadn't lived in Wyoming enough to claim resident status. She got fined $220 for her untruthfulness (another family trait!). Nothin' like finding new ways to say "I'm a carpetbagger!" Oh well, at least she didn't go and shoot one of her friends in the face on a fake bird hunt.

Princess Liz did manage, however, to wish death upon the local media when they didn't bend to her will and ran with the fish story. Now, who works in the local media? Local voters, that's who. She later said that she was referring to the liberal national media. Strike Two!

Then there was the open-range dispute with her gay sister Mary over marriage equality. The battle flew all over social and cable media. The princess mouthed the usual "marriage is between one man and one woman" crapola. It got ugly, and if you turn on your own family, why should Wyoming voters think you'll always have their back? Strike Three!

Tanking polls! You're out! Even FOX "News," trying desperately to give her some sort of gravitas, could not save her. Mike Enzi is still senator. He ought to thank Liz for making him look good by comparison. Back to the Beltway, Princess Liz!

Next time, the Cheney family might want to consider running Princess Mary the Gay. She's actually less of a princess than Liz. She's a little better-adjusted, and maybe her party could make an exception and back an openly gay person for national office. Hey, I'm not sayin' this would be sometime in this decade, but maybe in 30 years or so. Her dad will still be around due to his 15th pacemaker, an artificial liver, plenty of Depends, a jet-propelled wheelchair, and a suit made of nicotine patches. Mary's campaign slogan could be: "Wyoming, I Just Can't Quit You!"


2. "Miss Beck regrets" --
Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 1: Glenn Beck



Also back in January, eternal misanthrope and conspiracy theorist Glenn Beck put on a faux hairshirt and went on Faux News to confess to Mistress Megyn Kelly about his role in polarizing the United States Of America better than Tokyo Rose ever dreamed.

I remember it as an awful lot of fun and that I made an awful lot of mistakes, and I wish I could go back and be more uniting in my language. . . . I think I played a role, unfortunately, in helping tear the country apart and it's not who we are.

I'm moved, I tell ya. I'm moved! Why, this is almost like little Idi Amin saying he's sorry he ate all those people!

Will Beck be giving back some of the millions he's made in the service of evil? What's next? Charlie Manson says he regrets that hot August night at Sharon Tate's? Too harsh? OK, maybe Beck was just trying to chat up Mistress Megyn by showing a "sensitive side."


3. The Crackpot Party reacts to President Obama's State of the Union speech

On January 28th, President Obama gave the annual State of the Union speech. Several republican voices, including foaming-at-the-mouth talk-radio wacko Mark Levin and Judicial Watch's Tom Fitton had encouraged republican senators and representatives to boycott the speech over such issues as "amnesty," the president's "luxurious travels," and of course (say the magic word!) Benghazi. Feeling that a boycott of the speech was appropriate, Fitton said:

Imagine if half the chamber is empty.

Well, for one thing, no goofballs would be mouthing: "You lie!"

The medication-free Mark Levin went even further over the top:

Since these men and women will not use the U.S. Constitution to defend this nation, since they will not use the Constitution to confront a lawless President, worse yet, since they're funding his activities with these omnibus bills filled with all kinds of crap, what the Republicans should do is boycott the State of the Union . . . so half of the House floor, because that's where they meet, is empty.

The immensely reality-challenged Levin rambled on semi-coherently with phrases like "threatens the Republic" and "liberty and tyranny" -- all the usual republican insanity.

Seems to me that if President Obama were half the tyrant these people think he is, they wouldn't have their radio shows, columns, etc. But hey, playing the victim card can rile up the critical-thinking-challenged disciples and rake in piles of money.

In the end, just about everybody,other than far right "Supreme" Court Justices Alito, Thomas, and Scalia showed up, but republican Rep. Steve Stockman did indulge in his version of Crackpot Theater when he got up and walked out halfway through the speech, saying he did it over the usual perceived abuses of the Constitution, Obama's not mentioning Benghazi, Obama's alleged "wholesale violation of his oath," "failed policies," blah, blah, blah. He's from Texas, so say no more -- except, well, he did bring the rockin' racist Ted Nugent as his date. (More on Ted in the next installment of "Crackpot Utopia.")

Another one of Texas's finest, Rep. Randy Weber, tweeted out something about Obama being the Kommandant-in-Chef. Chef? There go those Texas schoolbooks again. But who ever said you needed to know how to spell in order to go into politics? As outgoing Gov. Rick Perry says, it's not an IQ test.

The media reactions were just as bad. FOX's Erick Erickson blanched at the thought of equal pay for women in a tweet during the speech, while Bush's brain Karl Rove reached all the way back to 2005 to find something to whine about on his Twit account.

The man who threatened the full faith and credit of US now lectures congress on the issue.

The biggest media farce, though, occurred the very next day on FOX-Lite CNN, where republican shill Wolf Blitzer was seen tossing soft and fluffy questions to one of his most favorite guests, Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R-WA), who had given one of the not-the-historically-usual-one-or-even-two-but-three SOTU rebuttals that the laughably called "liberal media" had afforded their republican friends. On his day-after show, Wolfboy asked Cathy if she supported "equal pay for equal work."

"Absolutely!" came the response. She blathered on and on about how the GOP supports pay equality for women in the workplace, etc., etc., blah-blah-blah. Did Wolfie the bearded wonder shill then ask her why she has voted against equal pay four times? Nope, but hey, that's not what he's there to do. He just plays a journalist on TV.

I wonder if McMorris Rodgers handed her interviewer a bag o'cash after the show. "Keep up the good work, Wolfie! Reince loves you! Kiss, kiss!"

•     •     •

Well, that's it for Part 1 of "Crackpot Utopia." And I'm not even done with January yet!


TOMORROW IN PART 2: Republicans wonder why normal people call them racists; Sean Hannity wants to self-deport; and the First Annual Mr. Burns Award

NOAH'S 2014 IN REVIEW --
Crackpot Utopia: The Year in Republican Crazy

Part 1: Princess Liz Cheney tries for the Smoothie of the Year Award; "Miss Beck regrets" -- Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 1: Glenn Beck; and the Crackpot Party reacts to President Obama’s State of the Union speech [12/19/2014]
Part 2: Republicans wonder why normal people call them racists; Sean Hannity wants to self-deport; and the First Annual Mr. Burns Award, to ABC "shark" Kevin O'Leary [12/20/2014]
Part 3: Using fear, loathing, and paranoia to sell stuff; Arizona legalizes crack!; and Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 3: Bill O’Reilly [12/21/2014]
Part 4: A celebration of Michele Bachmann: Pray away the crazy?; What "War on Women"?; and the "Obama angle" on Malaysian Flight 370 [12/22/2014]
Part 5: The GOP and the kiss heard 'round the world; Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 5: Joe the Plumber [12/23/2014]
Part 6: A word about South Carolina; Pat Robertson and his magic asteroid; and I'll have a pack of Twizzlers and an IUD to go, please [12/24/2014]
Part 7: And so it begins: The running of the buffoons; Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 7, George Will has no idea what rape is; and Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 8, Rick Wiles calls for a coup [12/29/2014]
Part 8: Things to come: Forward into the past! (11 Presidential Dream Tickets); Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 9: Former republican VP nominee Paul "Crazy Eyes" Ryan; Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 10: Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association [12/30/2014]
Part 9: Pompous Blowhard of the Year Award: Bill O’Reilly; FOX "News" announces new spinoff: the "FOX Benghazi™" Shopping Channel!; Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 11: DiGiorno Pizza [12/31/2014]
Part 10: Newsmax -- Beyond Drudgery; and Crazyspeak of the Year nominees Nos. 12 and 13: Michele Bachmann, Kimberly Guilfoyle [1/1/2015]
Part 11: GOP and FOX whip up the hate over a POW exchange; and Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 14: Iowa asylum escapee Rep. Steve King [1/3/2015]
Part 12: Arizona Republican protests busload of YMCA campers; Crazyspeak of the Year nominee(s) No. 15: the Impeachment Variations (group nomination); Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 16: NM Rep. Steve Pearce [1/4/2015]
Part 13 (and last): TV for Dummies: Sarah Palin launches her own channel; Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 17: Arizona schools superintendent John Huppenthal (rhymes with Neanderthal); and the final Crazyspeak of the Year nominee -- and also the winner! [1/5/2015]

NOAH'S 2013 IN REVIEW --
A Prayer to the Janitor of Lunacy*

Part 1: Take a bow, Repugs! (*including Nico's "Janitor of Lunacy") [12/30/2013]
Part 2: Remember when Reagan cut funds for insane asylums? (Storms, guns, bombs, free stuff, and the secret gay life of Obma: Some top Republican lies of 2013) [12/31/2013]
Part 3: No Cruz control (Rafael "Ted" Cruz in his own words) [1/1/2014]
Part 4: A great anniversary approaches! (plus more "Quote of the Year nominees") [1/2/2014]
Part 5: Everyone's a critic, including me -- Some people really try my patience (Bill-O, Howie Kurtz, E. W. Jackson, et al.) [1/3/2014]
Part 6 (and last): In the words of Dan Quayle, "What a waste it is to lose one's mind" (Exploiting tragedy for a buck; Miss America's not American?; "Quote of the Year" winner) [1/4/2014]

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Liz Cheney Slinking Off Back To Virginia-- Ends Wyoming Senate Bid

Once Liz Cheney's dismal initial polling numbers started sinking even further as Wyoming voters came in contact with her, I became hopeful that if she stayed in the race, her role in Cheney's take-over of the U.S. government in the first weeks of the Bush administration would come to the fore and help American understand how catastrophic the Cheney family has already been for this country. But last night it became clear that that is an exposé for another time. Liz Cheney called it quits to her ill-fated primary challenge to Mike Enzi. There's going to be an official announcement today but she let the cat out of the bag for CNN last night.

Cheney, the eldest daughter of former Vice President Dick Cheney, began telling associates of her decision over the weekend and could make an official announcement about the race as early as Monday.

Cheney's surprising decision to jump into the race, an announcement made in a YouTube video last summer, roiled Republican politics in the Wyoming, a state Dick Cheney represented in Congress for five terms before moving up the Republican food chain in Washington.

Enzi was a low-key presence in Washington who was elected in 1996 and, with few blemishes, amassed a conservative voting record in the Senate. He expressed public annoyance at Cheney's decision to mount a primary challenge. A number of his Senate colleagues quickly rallied to his side and pledged support for his re-election bid.

There was little public polling of the race, but two partisan polls released last year showed Enzi with a wide lead, an assessment mostly shared by GOP insiders watching the race.

Cheney's campaign got off to a rocky start.

Her critics labeled her a carpetbagger, noting that she moved to Wyoming only in 2012 after relocating from Virginia. The issue flared in August after the Wyoming media reported that Cheney improperly received a fishing license despite not living in the state for at least a year, as the law requires.

Grabbing even more attention was her very public dispute with her sister, Mary, over the issue of same-sex marriage. Mary Cheney, who is a lesbian, took to Facebook in November to object to Liz's opposition to same-sex marriage, claiming that her sister has previously supported her relationship while saying something very different on the campaign trail.

The dispute prompted their parents to weigh in, saying they were "pained" to see the sisters battle over a private matter in full view of the news media.

Beyond the campaign missteps, Cheney's election effort, vigorously supported by her father and his allies, often felt out-of-tune with the small-government conservative sentiment that has fueled other Republican primary challengers.

Cheney, like her father, is an unapologetic neoconservative who favors muscular use of American military power overseas, a policy that does not sit well with many grassroots conservatives, particularly in the libertarian-leaning West.

Early this morning, the paper of record, confirmed the CNN "rumors" of last night. The excuse she's using is "serious health issues" in the family. She issued a statement:

"Serious health issues have recently arisen in our family, and under the circumstances, I have decided to discontinue my campaign. My children and their futures were the motivation for our campaign, and their health and well-being will always be my overriding priority. As a mother and a patriot, I know that the work of defending freedom and protecting liberty must continue for each generation. Though this campaign stops today, my commitment to keep fighting with you and your families for the fundamental values that have made this nation and Wyoming great will never stop."

Good riddance!

Endorsements: South Carolina, Wyoming, California's Inland Empire

Here in Southern California, there's a little bit of controversy in CA-31 (San Bernardino and the 'burbs between Upland and Redlands) over the "unanimous" and coordinated endorsements by 4 Democratic Clubs of DCCC empty suit Pete Aguilar over three better-qualified Democratic candidates. One DCCC operative told me these kinds of phony club endorsements are standard procedure for the DCCC to help prop up weak candidates like Aguilar. Former Congressman Joe Baca, running for his old seat despite a vicious and determined campaign against him led by Steve Israel, told me this week that 2 of the clubs are in other districts and that the other two have 4 members each-- and that the 4 members don't even go to the "meetings." These were faked endorsements to try to stampede the California Democratic Party to go along with Steve Israel's terrible decision to endorse Aguilar, who already lost the very blue (D+5) district to TWO Republicans in 2012.

Normal people don't necessarily care about endorsements, but some endorsements-- though not from these fakes clubs-- come with resources. Certainly a California Democratic Party endorsement has immense value in a Democratic primary. Baca told me that Aguilar doesn't have the brains to manipulate the system that way but that Steve Israel sure does. And then there's Eric Bauman, the would-be Jesse Unruh of California's Democratic Party, who has also been working behind the scenes on behalf of Aguilar.

There are good reasons the Democratic Party has worked up rules about not interfering in viable primaries. Political careerists who undermine those rules should be fired. Then people will think twice about doing it again.

Nationally, though there are other stories in the endorsement game this week, namely South Carolina's junior appointed senator, Tim Scott going on CNN's Crossfire and pointedly refusing to endorse South Carolina's senior senator, Lindsay Graham, who's struggling for political survival against a bevy of blood-thirsty teabaggers. (See video up top.)

The endorsement/non-endorsement story that's captured the public's mind though is, of course, the ugly controversy roiling the Cheney family. Liz Cheney, an ambitious extremist, is trying to unseat very conservative senator Mike Enzi in Wyoming and has relocated there from her home in Virginia. Her polling numbers are dreadful-- 69-17% in the latest poll-- so she decided to brutally throw her sister's family under the bus to get some attention. People who don't even follow politics are sickened by Liz Cheney's ogre-like behavior, worse than anything one would ever even expect from her father!

Politico reported that Mary Cheney has now publicly asserted that she won't be endorsing the evil sister's campaign. Liz Cheney blames the whole mess on Enzi, of course.

Unbeknownst even to some of her closest friends and advisers, her newly announced opposition to gay marriage had caused a major rift in the famously close Cheney family, and she and Mary were no longer on speaking terms. Days after we talked it all became public, when, in a series of Facebook posts as devastating as they were surprising, Mary blasted her sister’s stance against marriage equality. “Liz’s position is to treat my family as second class citizens,” Mary wrote. “This isn't like a disagreement over grazing fees or what to do about Iran.” The public rebuke was the first communication between the sisters since August, and soon their parents, former Vice President Dick Cheney and his wife, Lynne, found themselves dragged into the imbroglio, issuing a statement defending Liz.

But Mary wasn’t done speaking out. In a series of emails to me this week, as the news of her break with her sister spread, Mary wrote, “I’m not supporting Liz’s candidacy.” She later clarified: “By supporting, I mean not working, not contributing, and not voting for (I’m registered in Virginia not Wyoming).” The best she could say of the sister who was once her close friend and confidante was a final postscript: “I am not saying I hope she loses to Enzi.”

For a family renowned for its togetherness and discipline-- “It’s very un-Cheney-like for one arm of the family to do something the other part doesn’t know about in the political sphere and cause any degree of heartburn,” says one former adviser to Dick Cheney—the public squabbling has been a shock. And what began as a race that seemed certain to tear apart the Republican Party in Wyoming has been transformed into something that once seemed unfathomable: the race that’s torn apart the Cheney family.

…Until this week’s very public disagreement, the Cheneys had succeeded for years in keeping the political and the personal in delicate balance when it came to the issue of Mary’s sexuality. Granted, that wasn’t always easy. When she came out to her parents as a high school junior, as she tells the story in Now It’s My Turn, her mother burst into tears and said, “Your life will be so hard.” (Dick, for his part, told her, “You’re my daughter and I love you and I just want you to be happy.”) By the time Bush offered Dick the vice presidency in 2000, one of his biggest hesitations, Mary writes, was about what such a move would mean for her. “Personally, I’d rather not be known as the vice president’s lesbian daughter,” Mary told him. “But, if you’re going to run, I think the country would be lucky to have you. I want to do whatever I can to help out on the campaign.” Help she did, along with Liz, and over the next eight years of the Bush administration, the two sisters, who were already close, grew even closer. To the extent Mary’s sexuality intruded into the world of politics, it only seemed to draw the sisters tighter together.

Never more so than in 2004. That year began with Mary contemplating quitting her job on the Bush-Cheney reelection campaign because of the president’s support for the Federal Marriage Amendment, which proposed to ban same-sex marriage. As Mary recalls in her memoir, when she asked to discuss the matter with her father at the White House, Lynne and Liz joined them, and all three urged her to remain on the campaign-- noting that they themselves disagreed with Bush on the issue. But they also told her they would understand and support her decision if she did resign. Mary chose to stay on and, later in that campaign, when Democratic nominee John Kerry and his running mate, John Edwards, each separately raised the issue of her sexuality during the debates, the Cheneys were furious. Lynne declared Kerry was “not a good man” and denounced his “cheap and tawdry political trick.” When Edwards debated their father, Liz and Lynne went so far as to stick their tongues out at him, while Mary glared at the Democrat and, borrowing one of her father’s famous expressions, silently mouthed the words “Go fuck yourself.”

By the time Dick left office, it seemed clear that the Cheneys had navigated a complicated issue with no negative political consequences-- and family solidarity intact. And, in the years since, it appeared the family's balancing act would only get easier: While the Republican Party remained solidly against gay marriage, public opinion-- even inside the GOP-- was shifting rapidly toward more friendly views about homosexuality. The rest of the country looked like it was catching up with the Cheneys.

But living in Washington is different from living in Wyoming, a fact that Liz Cheney may not have fully reckoned with when she announced in July that she would take on Enzi in next year’s Republican primary. When Cheney jumped into the race, the assumption among the political cognoscenti was that the incumbent was in trouble. The low-key, at times lumbering 69-year-old former CPA-- a politician so square and old-fashioned that he carries a briefcase onto the Senate floor, where he seldom utters a word-- was presumed to be no match for the young, media-savvy, slashing-and-burning daughter of the former vice president. It was an impression Enzi himself reinforced when, upon hearing the news of Cheney’s entrance into the race, he lamented to reporters, “I thought we were friends.”

Few, if any of the early accounts of Cheney’s candidacy even mentioned the matter of her sister, and at first it seemed her biggest problem would be dismissing the carpetbagger label. Although Cheney claims to be a fourth-generation Wyomingite, she did not live in the state-- save for two years as a young girl-- until 2012, when she moved her family from northern Virginia into a $1.6 million home in the tony resort town of Jackson Hole.