Convention Report: OMG, it's Willard!

Hmm, what's wrong with this picture?

by Ken

Well, I sure didn't see that one coming. Those crazy R's actually went and nominated Willard Inc.! Just as a matter of plotting, it seemed too obvious, too predictable. If I were a betting person, I would have put my money on . . . um . . . maybe that cool "Crazy Rick" Santorum? Or maybe a hopelessly deadlocked convention turning to, say, T-Paw?

Now as to the No. 2 slot, I know there's been a lot of talk about this creepy Paul Ryan fellow, including somebody at the Miami Herald who (I saw somewhere online) described him as young, good-looking, and something else, which I don't recall probably because of that "good-looking." "Good-looking"??? As compared with whom, the Elephant Man? You know who would be good? How 'bout that T-Paw? Or there's always that Sen. Marco Rubio, which would be good for him because if he gets elected maybe the R's can protect him from being indicted. At least he's better-looking than that Ryan troll.

As I've made clear, I don't intend to watch any of the Republican convention -- or the Democratic one, for that matter. I gather, though, that NJ Gov. Chris "Fats" Christie cracked wise about his weight, and House Speaker "Sunny John" Boehner thinks it would be a good idea to throw Obama out. Do those R's have charisma, or what?


FOR SOME FUN WITH WILLARD, CHECK
OUT GARRY WILLS'S NYRB BLOGPOST . . .

"Romney's Taxes in a Poke," in which Garry likens Willard's determination to keep his finances tightly under wraps to the attempts of pig-sellers of old to hide the critter they were selling at bargain price in the proverbial "poke," or burlap bag. "Why," he asks, "would anyone be stupid enough to submit to the condition that he not open a bag and inspect its merchandise before purchasing it?"

But then: "Can he pull it off? He seems to think so. He must agree with Mencken that no one goes broke underestimating the American intelligence."


IN THE END, IS THIS HOW
THE RACE WILL BE DECIDED?

DOONESBURY
[Click to enlarge]

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