The Noah Diaries 2011 (19): "I don't remember any terrorist attacks on American soil from 2000 to 2008" (FOX's Eric Bolling)

Newtie & the Supreme Court, suspicious death? nah!, fashion arrest, Rush says it's not the heat -- it's..., and more

I can only assume that he really doesn't remember.

by Noah

7/14/11 -- History? GOP here -- get me rewrite

Well, that didn't take long. FOX has replaced Glenn Beck with a group of asylum escapees who bill themselves as "The Five," and on just their third day, lead cuckoo Eric Bolling stated:

"America was certainly safe from 2000 to 2008. I don't remember any terrorist attacks on American soil during that period of time."

I can only assume that he really doesn't remember. Perhaps he was under extremely heavy sedation for the whole eight years at a clinic in the woods somewhere. More likely, he's just following the Republican playbook of rewriting history.

This incident is not the first time that FOX loons have given us the full BS of no attacks happening on Bush's watch. Former New York mayor and continuing embarrassment-to-humanity Rudy Giuliani made the same claim a couple of years ago. Other FOX on-air "talent" have done the same.

It's all part of the Republican approach to reality:

If it doesn't fit the agenda, make something up.

Sarah Palin recently went as far as to rewrite Wikipedia ("Sarah Palin and the Wikipedia War Over Paul Revere") to back her lunatic ravings. Michele Bachmann tells us that John Quincy Adams, eight years old at the time of the American Revolution, was a Founding Father and that the Founding Fathers eliminated slavery; never mind that what they actually did was kick the ball down the next 70 years while counting African-Americans, slaves or not, as three-fifths of a person when it came to census issues. While we're at it, Bachmann has had some funny things to say about the census, secret FEMA camps, and Democratic congressmen with "un-American" views, etc.

Last night I saw a Tea Party nutball on The Ed Show claim that we had "full employment" under George W. Bush, as part of a raving-and-ranting, foaming-at-the-mouth, out-of-control rant on how President Obama and only President Obama is to blame for the economic mess. These folks glaze over and virtually go into seizure status screaming out their "facts."

Also tonight, wingnut "pundit" Ron Christie suddenly appeared out of nowhere again on The Ed Show to proclaim Eric Cantor some sort of genius god who walks among us. Christie was going on so long, I expected some big burly guys to appear any second, jab a giant needle in his arm and haul him off the set to take him back to "the country estate," where he can continue modeling a fine assortment of jackets that buckle in the back.

They've got to be kidding with these people, but sadly I know they aren't. They aren't just pathological liars. They're so gonzo bad, they actually believe the crap that comes out of their mouths. Sooner or later they'll be telling the world that Nixon served two full terms, that the Beatles were three guys from Brazil, that Hawaii isn't a state and that Obama wasn't born here. Oh, wait . . . .


7/15/11 -- Newtie and the Supreme Court


At a recent campaign stop in Pella, Iowa, Newt Gingrich made the following claim based on his knowledge from the alternate universe from which he hails:

There is no Supreme Court in the American Constitution. There's the court which is the supreme of the judicial branch, but it's not supreme over the legislative and executive branch. We now have this entire national elite that wants us to believe that any five lawyers are a constitutional convention.

Newtie likes to pass himself off as a genius historian of some kind, but what does the Constitution that he has so much contempt for have to say on the subject? For that answer, let's go to Article III of the United States Constitution, which begins:

"The judicial Power of the United States shall be vested in one supreme Court."

What Gingrich and other fascists aim to do is strip the entire judicial system of its powers, so that someday, in their minds the sooner the better, a fascist president with an overwhelmingly right-wing Congress can overturn rulings such as Roe vs. Wade, rulings that outlaw racial discrimination, rulings that permit gay people to serve in the military, etc. You get the picture. And you can bet that, without the Supreme Court having any power, a far-right Congress would go for stripping amendments from the Constitution.

Given the current list of priorities being demonstrated by the Republicans, it's safe to say that one of their first targets would be the 15th Amendment, which prohibits the denial of voting rights based on race, color, or previous condition of servitude. The 19th Amendment,which established a woman's right to vote, would also be a likely target, as well as the First Amendment, which protects the freedom of religion, speech, and the press as well as the right to assemble and petition the government.

The irony is, of course, that the Supreme Court's ruling on the Citizens United case is designed to pave the way for just such a scenario. So, as usual, Newtie wants things both ways. He doesn't want a Supreme Court -- unless, that is, it will do his bidding. Then it's OK. In this way we can see that Little Newtie never quite made it past the age of six.


7/18/11 -- None dare say his death was suspicious!

Sean Hoare, arguably the first reporter to blow the whistle on the Rupert Murdoch phone-hacking scandal, turned up dead in Watford, a small town about 25 miles northwest of London. The coppers are saying that the death was being treated as "unexplained." That's according to the British Press Association. Nice to know that their press is as ridiculous as ours. Yeah, that Karen Silkwood didn't die suspiciously either, and nothing weird ever happens to whistleblowers. Yeesh. We might as well be getting our news from Dr. Seuss.

This comes on the same day that it was announced that London's two top cops had resigned because of the Murdoch scandal. Will PM Cameron survive the scandal? Or will he be disappearing in a "mysterious plane crash"?


7/18/11 -- Speaking of planes, 20-year-old Deshon Marmon was recently dragged off a plane and arrested for poor fashion sense (low riding shorts)

It happened at San Francisco International Airport.

A police spokesperson told the [San Francisco Chronicle] Marman's pants were so low they exposed most of his boxer shorts underneath. He reportedly ignored airline staff requests to pull his trousers up.

"At that point he was asked to leave the plane," Sergeant Michael Rodriguez said.

"It took 15 to 20 minutes of talking to get him to leave the plane, and he was arrested for trespassing."

Marman's mother said her son was singled out "because of the way he looks -- a young black man with dreads and baggy pants".

However, US Airways said their dress code forbids "indecent exposure or inappropriate" attire.

I can do without this particular fashion statement, but I don't like seeing old white guys with light green or pink trousers and white belts either. It makes me unhappy.


7/22/11 -- With temperatures in three digits all over the country and a season of almost 1300 record-setting high temperatures to date . . .

. . . the ever-expanding Repug blowhard Jabba the Limbaugh revealed his newest conspiracy theory: The heat index, what the temperature plus the humidity factor makes the temperature feel like, was made up by the current crop of government liberals, commies, and secret Muslims, to make us think that there is a global-warming problem! Never mind the fact that the heat index calculation was developed back around 1900 and has been in wide use for over 30 years! Yep, it started back around the magical time of Reagan. That sure makes it Obama's fault! But wait, how could it be? Wasn't Obama in Kenya at the time?

How does Jabba come up with this stuff? Is it the Oxycontin? If so, what's the rest of the Republican Party's excuse? What are they on? Still, the amount of hot air emanating from Limbaugh's various orifices probably accounts for a few degrees of heat and a lot of poor air quality.

Next up, we can expect Republicans to charge that the heat is being caused by Mexicans bringing it with them from south of the border. I hear that them damn A-rabs are bringing it with them from their god-awful desert countries too!


7/22/11 -- Bill-O claims that women shouldn't be given free birth control . . .

. . . because most of the time, at least in his bizarre view, "many women" are blasted out of their minds when they have sex. No, Bill-O. Perhaps your view is warped because, for you to have sex the woman has to be blasted out of her mind, or at least very well paid.

Let's not forget that Bill-O also once stated that an 18-year-old girl who was raped and murdered wasn't a victim because she was wearing a miniskirt and therefore asking for it. Bill-O sure has some funny notions in his sexual psychology. What a disturbed man!


7/23/11 -- Let's hear it for Mississippi, a state whose name probably can't be spelled by most of its residents

It wasn't enough that several local Republicans and other KKK types wanted the state to honor the KKK's founder, Nathan Bedford Forrest, on its license plates. It seems that some of the state's finest citizens have a big problem with an African-American pastor supporting a Democratic candidate for sheriff in Jackson. Jeez, ya give ‘em the right to vote and the next thing ya know, they go and get themselves involved! Just like real citizens an' all! So what's the solution? Why, shoot up the guy's house, of course! Just like in the good ol' days! What else?

What should we expect from a state that has former Republican Party chaircretin and lifelong racist goon, Haley Barbour, as it's governor. Having the likes of Barbour in the highest state office just encourages them.


7/26/11 -- Michele Bachmann, socialist!

Remember that thing about Rep. Bachamann getting farm subsidies? Well, it turns out that she's a dynamo when it comes to working the socialist system while bitching about it. She's not just getting handouts for the family farm, she's getting them for the hubby's fake "pray away the gay" clinic. Plus, she took a nice government-backed loan from Fannie and Freddie right before calling for it to be abolished! The amount was $417,000 so she and her closet man could buy a new house on a golf course. How Republican!


7/27/11 -- Rep. Paul Broun (R-GA) has introduced bill to lower (!) the debt ceiling . . .

. . . and says that Americans can save if they get rid of expensive cars, second cars, and country-club memberships. Typical of Repugs, they think everyone is in a country club and has an expensive car. This is a problem of perception that the majority of the Inside the Beltway crew shares. OK, "share" isn't the right word to describe Washington politicians.

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History in the making:
Selections from THE NOAH DIARIES 2011

Yesterday: (18) Trouble in MurdochWorld -- Bye-bye, News of the World! Plus: Reptilian Louie Gohmert on gov't salaries, Obama hit for being in favor of education, slavery wasn't so-o-o bad, naked gunwoman, and more (7/5-11/11)
Tomorrow: (20) "The largest threat to our democracy is the emergence of a radical right getting most of the ransom it demands" (Robert Reich). Plus: Who are these people? I. Funeral fascists; II. Teabagging deadbeat dad. "Tar baby" and "coonskin"? What's next, "jigaboo"? (8/1-2/11)

FOR A COMPLETE LISTING OF THE SERIES, CLICK HERE

And don't forget 2010's Year in Review series and 2009's "12 Days of Christmas Scorn"!

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