Presenting DWT's own caption contest: What is Newtie thinking?

We want to know: What the heck could Newt be thinking?

by Noah

Lots of people have weighed in about the recent Republican Negativity Fest in New Hampshire. (Here was Howie's take, from China.) The general vibe about the whole thing is that Michele Bachmann gained the most and Tim Pawlenty sputtered and crashed while Mitt Romney won the night’s Biggest Pathological Liar prize. All the while, Ron Paul won a lot of voter polls, if only for the reasons that at least he’s honest and his believers are the most organized and the most passionate.

The rest of this Bizarro World Beauty Contest? Well, was anyone else there? The answer is yes, and, I would like to focus, not only on one Newt Gingrich, but on one particular moment in Monday night’s show that hasn’t been covered at all. It seems to have been missed! Besides, why go over the same old same old?

So, here it is. Look at the picture. It needs a thought balloon for Newtie, or a simple caption. Recently, Ken has been dealing with The New Yorker’s entertaining caption contests. Let’s have our own at Down With Tyranny! Please read Newtie’s crazy, batshit-wacko mind and send us your ideas as to what he might be thinking or fantasizing about. To get things started, I offer some of the things that I think he might be thinking:

1. “Soooo Michelle, whataya doin’ after the show?”

2. "Jeez, where were you when I met my first three wives?"

3. "Listen up, I’ll put my wife in the hospital for some surgery, and then when she’s coming out of the surgery, I’ll get her signature on some papers, and . . ."

4. "I know some great little places in Greece. I know ya wanna see me in a Speedo!" [Arg! -- Ed.]

5. "Ooh, Michelle, how I long to wrap my flab around you. You’ve never done it till you’ve done it with a newt!"

6. "Michele, baby, Anthony Weiner’s got nothin’ on me!"

So, go ahead. Make our day! Have at it. What’s on Newtie’s mind?

And if you have one for Michele, that's fine too.


NOTE FROM KEN: BY ALL MEANS, DO MICHELE

Oh yes, absolutely, do Michele, please! I have no idea where those words come from which, um, normally (for want of a better word) come out of her mouth, but here's your chance to play . . . well, not God, but something way kinkier: Michele's Brain.


NOTE TO QUEBECKERS . . . ER, QUÉBÉCOIS:
YOU CAN PLAY IN OUR CAPTION CONTEST

As you know, you are barred for life, or for eternity, whichever comes last, from entering The New Yorker's caption contest, even from voting for one of the finalists, and you know why. (Come, come, there's no point playing innocent -- er, jouer l'innocent -- with us. We know what you did.) You'll just need to supply two forms of ID, at least one with a photo, and promise to make sure it never happens again. (Really, you disgust -- um, vous dégoûtez -- us.)

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