OMG! CHARLIE CRIST IS GETTING MARRIED-- TO A WOMAN!

Bush and Rove are trying to shove Romney down McCain's throat but McCain has told friends the unctuous Mormon makes his skin crawl. He would prefer anyone (except Cheney), and would really like to shore up either Florida or put Minnesota in play by having one of those state's governors on the ticket with him. Problem is, Minnesotans don't seem to care for what they've seen of McCain so far, aren't terribly thrilled with their own governor either who could actually drag McCain down even further. Crist, on the other hand, is somewhat popular, despite current problems with his own crazy right-wing party who are pissed off at his cozy little gambling deal with the Seminoles. His problem, however, is that he is both moderate and gay, something the Republican base doesn't cotton to. So yesterday he announced he's going to marry his beard, Carole Rome. (Note: she runs a company that sells beards!)

"She's special in every way. She's brilliant, beautiful and sweet. I'm very, very lucky... I'm very, very happy. I love her." I bet he says that about all his lovers. He doesn't have to travel to California or Massachusetts or Canada to get married. He can do it in St. Petersburg. Who'd a thunk? And to be on a ticket that will probably go down in flames! And will the nuptuals be catered by McDonald's? Or is he so desperate for that VP nomination that he'll follow Republicans into a boycott?