DENVER PROSTITUTES JEALOUS OF MINNEAPOLIS-ST PAUL PROSTITUTES-- REPUBLICANS (AND COMPUTER GEEKS) HIRE MORE HOOKERS

Today's Rocky Mountain News has a different kind of political story-- although in a year when otherwise unremarkable backbenchers of little accomplishment and no other claims to fame-- like David Vitter (R-LA), Ted Klaudt (R-SD) and Larry Craig (R-IN) and have become well known for their grotesque sexual peccadilloes... well, there is a little bit of life imitating art here. Denver's "sex and adult entertainment industries are expecting a boom in business when an estimated 35,000 visitors descend on the Mile High City for the presidential nominating bash."

More than six months before the convention comes to Denver, the offerings already online range from Claudia the "she-male porn star" to Erin the "adorable college cutie," whose $300- an-hour services are guaranteed to "leave you breathless."

Surprised?

Don't be.

Denver is, after all, home to Mike Jones, the beefy male prostitute who claimed to have bedded the [still suffering] Rev. Ted Haggard in his Capitol Hill apartment.

Jay Watson, who promises an unforgettable milk bath and lotion massage for $125 an hour, said he's expecting to be busy during the DNC Aug. 25-28.

Why?

"Because look at me," said Watson, a 25-year-old Aurora man with a Mohawk. "I'm cute. I'm sexy and I deliver it all."

Too bad for Watson and others like him that Denver didn't land the GOP convention instead, said Carol Leigh, a San Francisco prostitute "over 50" who has traveled to previous Democratic conventions in Los Angeles and Atlanta.

"It would be a lot better for the sex workers if it was the Republican convention," she said. "We get a lot more business. I don't know if they're just frustrated because of the family values agenda," she said.

When the Republican convention was held in New York in 2004, some sex workers offered limited-time discounts, according to New York Magazine, which ran a feature story titled "The Girls in Their Summer Hot Pants."

Officer Ana Aguirre, a spokeswoman for the Los Angeles police, which hosted the DNC in 2000, said there's "definitely a spike" in prostitution during large events like political conventions.

In Denver, said police spokesman Sonny Jackson, "We're preparing to handle a variety of issues that may come up."

Even though they attract a lot of people, political conventions aren't the most profitable for the men and women in the world's oldest profession, Leigh said.

"Computer conventions can be lucrative," she said. "There's a lot of nerds that don't get out much."

More nerdy than male prostitute connoisseur Patrick McHenry (R-NC) or than Mike McCaul (R-TX), who only goes to conventions so he can get out from under his wife's-- the boss's daughter's-- thumb and live it up a little?