THE SATURDAY SCIENCE LESSON: NEW ELEMENT DISCOVERED AND AMERICA STILL SMARTER THAN TURKEY

We'll get going with a little comic tragedy before we get to the tragic comedy. My pal Bruce sent me this yesterday and it's good for a few yucks. You'll need 'em before you read what follows.

Bushcronium: heaviest element known to science

A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Bushcronium." Bushcronium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an Atomic mass of 311. These 311 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. The symbol for Bushcronium is
"W".

Bushcronium's mass actually increases over time, since each reorganization causes more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Bushcronium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."

When catalyzed with money, Bushcronium activates Foxnewsium, an element which radiates orders of magnitude, more energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it has just as many peons but twice as many morons.

OK... now that we're all in a Scientific mood, I want to share some info my friend Jerry in Atlanta sent me this morning. The good news: there is a greater grasp among Americans of Genetics and a great acceptance among Americans of Evolution than among Turks. The bad news: Turkey is the only country among 34 surveyed we're head of. According the Health SciTech the root of the problem gets down to two factors: a society steeped in primitive superstition and religionist doctrine, and a poor and outmoded education system. Poor understanding of biology and genetics is exacerbated by "the politicization of science and the literal interpretation of the Bible by a small but vocal group of American Christians."

According to one of the study's authors, Jon Miller of Michigan State University, "American Protestantism is more fundamentalist than anybody except perhaps the Islamic fundamentalist, which is why Turkey and we are so close."

The study combined data from 32 European countries plus Japan and the U.S. between 1985 and 2005. In that period, the study found that "The percentage of U.S. adults who accept evolution declined from 45 to 40 percent [and] the percentage overtly rejecting evolution declined from 48 to 39 percent, however."

The countries more acclimated to the 21st Century included Denmark, Sweden, France and Japan, where around 80% of adults accept evolution. (Like the U.S., fundamentalist religionist superstitions and backwardness are hampering an understanding of science and in Turkey 75% of adults reject evolution. The study doesn't compare statistics for Kansas and Turkey.

The analysis found that Americans with fundamentalist religious belief-- defined as belief in substantial divine control and frequent prayer-- were more likely to reject evolution than Europeans with similar beliefs. The researchers attribute the discrepancy to differences in how American Christian fundamentalist and other forms of Christianity interpret the Bible.

While American fundamentalists tend to interpret the Bible literally and to view Genesis as a true and accurate account of creation, mainstream Protestants in both the United States and Europe instead treat Genesis as metaphorical, the researchers say.

"Whether it's the Bible or the Koran, there are some people who think it's everything you need to know," Miller said. "Other people say these are very interesting metaphorical stories in that they give us guidance, but they're not science books."

The study also notes that mainstream political parties in America contribute to the dumbing down of the population by making "opposition to evolution a prominent part of their campaigns to garner conservative vote-- something that does not happen in Europe or Japan." It's not unlike politicians firmly standing up-- as they did-- behind doctrine that the earth is flat. It didn't make the earth flat; it just made their society more backward and unable to cope with scientific change, and the economic changes that flowed from them.