Amy Klobuchar And Sherrod Brown Want To Be President Too

I've tried to make it clear that the Worst Democraps Who Want To Be President series is not just for any candidate I don't like, but really for the very worst of the worst, like Gillibrand and Bloomberg. So... I may not want to see Amy Klobuchar get the nomination, nor Sherrod Brown, Cory Booker or Kamala Harris, but none of them belongs in that series. Still all fair game for criticism of course, but not as a "Worst Democraps." For example, reporting for BuzzFeed News yesterday, Molly Hensley-Clancy wrote that there's more to Klobuchar than Minnesota Nice. "[B]ehind the doors of her Washington, DC, office, the Minnesota Democrat ran a workplace controlled by fear, anger, and shame, according to interviews with eight former staffers, one that many employees found intolerably cruel. She demeaned and berated her staff almost daily, subjecting them to bouts of explosive rage and regular humiliation within the office, according to interviews and dozens of emails."

Dead Armadillo by Nancy Ohanian

It looks like two of the next announcements will be from the Midwest: Amy Klobuchar on Sunday and Sherrod Brown... soon. Since first being elected to the Senate in 2006, Klobuchar has rarely been a topic for DWT. The last time she was involved with anything controversial was when she got into a mud-wrestling match with Justin Bieber as she spearheaded an effort-- for which she was well-paid-- to make it a felony to stream certain content online. She introduced a Luddite "illegal streaming bill" (SB 978) for Hollywood, co-sponsored by 2 corporate whores, John Cornyn and Chris Coons, meant to make the streaming of any copyrighted material on the Internet a felony punishable by up to five years in prison. At the time, the nonprofit, Fight for the Future, was particularly concerned and launched a campaign called "Free Bieber," using the example of Justin Bieber’s rise to fame, doing cover songs, as a way to get out the message. (Ironically, Bieber’s camp issued a cease-and-desist over using his name in the campaign.) The implications were far broader than a Bieber, though. When Rufus Wainwright and Sean Lennon covered Madonna’s "Material Girl" at Occupy Wall Street, if someone had uploaded a video of the performance to YouTube, Madonna (or whomever owns any part of her music or publishing) could sue the uploader if it’s deemed a "public performance." October 23, 2011:



In the end, the Senate was just embarrassed by the bill and it didn't get a vote. She introduced it again a year later and the Senate basically told her to just stop wasting everyone's time. This week she made a spectacle of herself again-- the only serious candidate for the Democratic nomination to vote in favor of making it a crime to boycott Israel. Voting against the bill were Bernie, Elizabeth Warren, Jeff Merkley, Cory Booker, Kamala Harris, Sherrod Brown, even Kirsten Gillibrand, while Klobuchar joined all the Republicans and the AIPAC-Dems to vote for another clearly unconstitutional bill that appeals to her (or her donors).

The only other time we thought about her this year was when she was blandly and ineptly questioning Brett Kavanaugh. Justin, a sharp lawyer friend of mine told me her performance would have flunked her out of Duke, where he had graduated.

NBC News began its day yesterday with a report from Chuck Todd and Co. about how geography-- ie, the Midwest-- is destiny in presidential races. A stretch, at best. "People," they wrote, "often forget this about Barack Obama’s 2008 campaign: One of his strengths-- in both the primaries and general election-- was geography. Obama’s Illinois borders Iowa, Missouri, Wisconsin and Indiana, and Obama won all of these states in either the primaries/caucuses (Iowa, Missouri, Wisconsin) or the general election in 2008 (Iowa, Wisconsin, Indiana). And part of the POTENTIAL that Klobuchar brings to the 2020 Democratic field is the ability to replicate this Obama strength from 2008. Minnesota, after all, borders Iowa (whose caucuses could be more important than ever this cycle), as well as Wisconsin (which could be 2020’s all-important battleground state in the general election)." Most of Minnesota borders North and South Dakota, Manitoba and Ontario, although I guess in theory you can see across Lake Superior from Grand Marais to Isle Royale, which is part of Michigan but has no inhabitants. I doubt Klobuchar is hanging her hat on the geography theory.

Daniel Straus and Holly Otterbein had a more salient theory for what Sherrod Brown could be hanging his hat on-- being Biden without the baggage. That Biden is nothing at all-- except the name recognition from having been a part of Obama-- other than the baggage isn't occurring to anyone yet. His lane is largely discredited neo-liberal corporatism and I doubt Brown really wants to identify with that, at least not in a primary. None-the-less, they insist that Biden and Brown "are on an early collision course in the initial days of the 2020 presidential race. They’re chasing the same potential supporters, touting the same themes and even using some of the same language to go after President Donald Trump. And Brown, kicking off a pre-campaign tour of key presidential voting states last week, made clear that if he gets into the race he intends to run, essentially, as Biden without the baggage."

Chris Schwartz, a Black Hawk county supervisor who hosted an event for Brown in Iowa, introduced him by ticking off a list of votes-- including opposing NAFTA, opposing the Defense of Marriage Act and voting against authorization of the war in Iraq-- that had featured Biden on the other side.

"All those things that I said that Sherrod Brown got right, Joe Biden got every single one of those things wrong." Schwartz said. He said that the congressional record might not come to mind immediately for other caucus-goers. But "we've seen Biden on the campaign trail many times already so we already know what to expect,” Schwartz continued. “He certainly has done great things for the country [quick-- name one] but I just don't think that’s what folks are looking for."

Brown’s “Dignity of Work” tour introduced himself as a progressive who can “talk to workers” and railed against the distractions of Trump’s “phony populism”-- echoing a memorable Biden line from the midterm campaign trail. Brown’s political pitch is that he can win back the Midwest for Democrats after winning reelection in Ohio in 2018-- a version of the rationale that the Scranton-born former VP can reconnect Democrats with the working-class white voters who have left the party in recent years.

...Brown himself is more diplomatic. When asked whether he and Biden are trying to make the same appeal to voters, Brown pivoted to his campaign slogan. "I'm not going to make the comparison to anybody, but my whole career has been about the dignity of work," Brown said.

As Brown and Biden both consider the presidential race, they and their respective supporters have both tried to frame themselves in a specific light: progressive Democrats with long lists of liberal policy positions who can nevertheless reach out to voters across the partisan divide.

Brown will also face questions from the left-- he has firmly refused to endorse Medicare for all, for example, saying he first wants to see more incremental changes like lowering the Medicare eligibility age. But at each stop in his early pre-campaign tour, Brown has laid out his background of winning elections in an increasingly Republican-leaning state [Democrats just won 3 of the 4 House seats and came within a hair of winning the 4th] while also staying a champion of major liberal issues like fighting for same sex marriage and voting against the war in Iraq.

"I think Democratic primary voters want somebody that’s going to be on the side of workers and will not compromise on civil rights and workers’ rights and LGBT rights," Brown said during a stop in Cresco.

Ohio attorney, activist and blogger Tim Russo knows Brown up close and personal-- and is no fan. Friday he was writing about the beginning of revolution: When The Boots Wear Out, Will Anyone Be Ready To Listen. Russo wrote that in the clip from Doctor Zhivago, "Alec Guiness plays a Russian Bolshevik joining the czar’s final army with the sole purpose of being in place when World War I grinds the working class soldiers to dust, predicting, 'when the boots wore out they’d be ready to listen.' As a new presidential campaign begins to reveal to America that hindsight is indeed 2020, American boots are beginning to wearing out."

Ohio voted for Obama twice, then Trump in 2016. To establishment media, and establishment Democrats, this somehow means Ohio is irrevocably a Republican state. To Alec Guiness’ character in Doctor Zhivago, it means quite something else. Ohio has been voting for radical change three presidential elections in a row now, but change never comes. In a hopelessly rigged game, both political parties’ establishments now shamelessly plundering America before our eyes, Ohioans know to the bones in their weary feet the boots are indeed wearing out.

The Obama-Obama-Trump voter of Ohio may just stop voting altogether in 2020. If the choice for Ohio in 2020 remains an abusive, insulting, pointless D vs. R, why subject oneself to ever more self humiliation? I used to seethe in anger at nonvoters. How dare you? Now, I’m close to giving up voting myself. My own personal story of endless exile imposed by the very Democrats I helped elect myself would be enough justification.

Boy, did I help, swallowing hook line and sinker every fraudulent con designed to excise every coming generation’s security into some repugnant oligarch’s third yacht, fourth home, tax haven hedge fund on an island with a private jet strip built solely to escape the reckoning they know is coming. That is my Generation X’s responsibility-- we bought it. Such fools we were. Turns out, we weren’t temporarily embarrassed millionaires in waiting. We were suckers.

Americans aren’t yet 1931 hobos begging brother, can you spare a dime; yet. But we know our road is cut off before us. The 2020 presidential election may be the last chance America has to avoid the hell the characters in Doctor Zhivago would soon endure, as the boots slowly wear out.

This morning, Tim, no doubt fired up by Alex Guiness, was still waxing poetic-- if a little more pointedly so: "As we march back from the fake front to face our real enemies in our worn out boots, snakes like Sherrod Brown will wave their canary logo at us, but we will all know his bird is kept in a golden cage gilded by Wall Street. Rotted boots tend to cleanse the soul and open the eyes."

Today's Word: Trumpanzee

"Nope, not even for $5 million, Gramps"

PPP released new national polling tonight that shows Clinton beating Trump by bigger margins after the two parties' conventions. The polling shows her "with a much more positive image than she had a month ago. Donald Trump meanwhile is just as unpopular as he was before the conventions. Clinton's net favorability improved by 9 points over the last month. She's still not popular, with a -6 net favorability at 45/51, but it's a good deal better than the -15 spread she had at 39/54 a month ago. The gains are particularly attributable to Democrats increasing in their enthusiasm for her, going from giving her a 76/15 rating to an 83/12 one. Trump, on the other hand, is at a -22 net favorability with 36% of voters seeing him favorably to 58% with a negative one. That's barely changed at all from the 35/58 standing we found for him in late June."

Not that it's likely to make any difference, but the Houston Chronicle, which pretty consistently backs Republicans in presidential races, didn't wait long after the end of the Philly convention to endorse Hillary over Trump, calling the race "the starkest political choice in living memory. They will choose between one candidate with vast experience and a lifelong dedication to public service and another totally lacking in qualifications to be president. They will decide whether they prefer someone deeply familiar with the issues that are important to this nation or a person whose paper-thin, bumper-sticker proposals would be dangerous to the nation and the world if somehow they were enacted... Any one of Trump's less-than-sterling qualities-- his erratic temperament, his dodgy business practices, his racism, his Putin-like strongman inclinations and faux-populist demagoguery, his contempt for the rule of law, his ignorance-- is enough to be disqualifying. His convention-speech comment, 'I alone can fix it,' should make every American shudder. He is, we believe, a danger to the Republic." But it wasn't the paper's editors who dubbed the dishonest bully "Trumpanzee." I believe it was Red State's Susan Wright who first applied it to him, or, more precisely, to the way he speaks, in a post explaining that he's wrong if he thinks Republicans have no choice but to vote for him. Much more so than Hillary, Trump has fully embraced the "lesser-of-two" evils thesis of American presidential politics. He tells hard core Republicans who he is well aware are revolted by him that she's much worse than he is. Wright rebutted the argument:

While he is correct in his assessment of the situation with the Supreme Court, and it remains vitally important that no liberal be allowed to stuff the court with their activist judges, several concerns face the voters.

To begin, we can’t say who a President Trump would choose, and how it would be any different than having any other liberal pick the judges. The convention for the new Trumplican party was chock full of liberal speakers, liberal ideology, and a total abandonment of any conservative principles.

Melania Trump

Other than those dancing in the aisles, as Trump and the RNC allowed the co-founder of PayPal to rail against traditional values, or his daughter to push a debunked narrative of gender pay disparity, there was no joy or hope involved with that convention. Only the dark vision of a nation that needed an authoritarian “strong man” to fix what was wrong.

Trump’s own speech, where he proclaimed, “Only I…” should have frozen all the revelers in their tracks. Every person who voted for Trump in the primaries, every politician who endorsed the man should have found themselves in a moment of horrified clarity, saying to themselves, “What have I done?”

Next, we should consider Trump’s “best brain” and who is acting as that brain. Right now, it is Paul Manafort, a shadowy Svengali, with questionable ties to some dangerous people. How much influence would Manafort and those foreign ties have over Trump’s decisions, once in office?

Then there is the simple matter of “have to.”

No, Mr. Trump. No one is under any threat or compulsion to vote for someone who violates their conscience or their principles.

So far, we still have that liberty.

We also have Gary Johnson, Darrell Castle, or Jill Stein to vote for.

I couldn’t ever see myself voting for a Jill Stein, as she would likely kill business in this nation for ages to come with overregulation through environmental policies.

Third parties are an option, however, and one that has long been decried as the “spoiler” option, blocking one of the big two parties from drawing enough votes. Ross Perot was the last third party candidate to really make an impact.

Can a third party win this year?

Anything is possible, long shot as it may be. That being said, it’s not about their chance of winning so much as it’s about the idea that we are locked into the two party system and are being told we must choose one of two evils.

When one who seeks to lead says you have no choice, you should always question why, then explore your options.

Even Justin Bieber chose correctly-- and Trumpanzee waved $5 million dollars under his nose. Although Trump is trying to blame the failed Cleveland convention on Reince Priebus and Paul Ryan, he was clearly in charge. And although all he could come up with was a washed-up old underwear model and Chachi, he tried luring every big star in America to perform at his event. He must have read somewhere in Twitter thay Justin Bieber is popular with all the kids... so he offered him $5 million to sing 45 minutes worth of songs near the Quicken Arena and that he didn't have to endorse Trump (although he couldn't say anything disparaging up Trump, nor could he display any Black Lives Matter banners. Trumpanzee's handlers lied to Bieber and told him LeBron James would also be doing an event from Trump but it turned out to be just a typical Trumpian lie and when Bieber's people called LeBron people the basketball icon told them he wasn't doing anything for Trump and that neither should Bieber. Bieber's manager said he'd quit if Bieber did the show and his band told him they didn't want to do it no matter how much Trump was offering. So, in the end, Bieber said no to the $5 million and there taint of a Trump association.

And the Koch brothers proved to be as brave and stalwart as the Beeb. According to Kenneth Vogel, writing for a DC gossip rag, Top Trumpanzee donors-- presumably the ridiculous father-and-son team of Darwin and Doug Deason-- "tried to set up a meeting between the GOP presidential nominee and Charles Koch in Colorado Springs on Friday, but Koch aides rejected the entreaties, according to two Republicans with knowledge of the outreach."

Trumpanzee is desperate to get his tiny little hands on their money now but has previously "blasted the Kochs and other major conservative donors as puppeteers to whom his GOP primary rivals were beholden, while he touted the independence from Big Money."

The Koch brothers and Trump are in town for separate events-- Trump for a fundraiser, and the Kochs for the kickoff of the annual summer summit of their donor network at a tony resort in Colorado Springs.

But the Republicans familiar with the push said top Koch aides rejected the idea of a meeting.

“It is not going to happen,” said one of the Republicans, adding that the Kochs appear unlikely to back away from their repeated declarations that they don’t plan to spend any money in the presidential race, and will instead refocus their spending down ballot.

...The Minnesota media billionaire [Stanley] Hubbard, a longtime member of the Koch donor network, initially opposed Trump, but has come around, and said he’ll urge the Kochs to do the same when he sees them this weekend in Colorado Springs.

“Neither one of them [Clinton or Trump] are my cup of tea, but sometimes you bite your tongue and you choose the best of two bad choices,” said Hubbard, who has donated $100,000 to a pro-Trump super PAC. “I think it is time that we get behind Trump because of all the important things such as Supreme Court appointments, which are crucial,” he said, adding that he was aware of the efforts to get the Kochs to meet with Trump.

The network aims to spend hundreds of millions of dollars in the run-up to Election Day, and it would be a significant boost if it decided to support Trump, who is being substantially outspent by Clinton and her allies.

But Davis earlier this month reiterated the network’s intent to sit out the race, even after Trump tapped as his vice presidential running mate Indiana Gov. Mike Pence, a favorite of the Kochs and their donor network.

Pence has appeared at several Koch summits over the years. And, prior to joining Trump’s ticket, he had been scheduled to make an appearance in Colorado Springs this weekend. But he backed out of the appearance, citing campaign responsibilities.

That prompted head scratching in GOP finance circles, since Pence’s deep ties to the Kochs and other major conservative benefactors were considered among his strengths as a vice presidential candidate.

Amy Klobuchar vs Justin Bieber, Round 2

A couple weeks ago we mentioned the trouble brewing between Justin Bieber-- on behalf of internet freedom-- and Democratic Senator Amy Klobuchar (MN)-- on behalf of censorship and corporate dominance. Although the charismatic Bieber, an underage, anti-Choice Canadian, can't run against her, he can cause he far more damage than she ever imagined. Above is an ad Demand Progress is running.

We're running this ad for one simple reason:  We need to embarrass a key lawmaker to set an example for others, and make it clear that it's not okay to shill for the entertainment industry.

Our ad calls out Sen. Amy Klobuchar for spearheading the effort to make it a felony to stream certain content online-- meaning ordinary Americans would risk getting locked up for posting karaoke videos, cover band performances, video game play-throughs, and more. 

Hollywood has gobs of money, and that means that they have undue clout in DC.  Lawmakers love sponsoring Hollywood bills because it means untold thousands of new dollars for their campaign coffers.  Ads like this will make them think twice.

This week the ad is running on Comedy Central in the Twin Cities, the area that is key to Klobuchar's reelection prospects. It criticizes her for spearheading the effort to make it a felony to stream certain content online-- meaning ordinary Americans would risk being imprisoned for five years for posting karaoke videos, cover band performances, video game play-throughs, and more. Bieber became famous by posting videos of his covers of other artists' songs on YouTube, exposing him to potential prosecution if this legislation passes. He was recently asked what he thought about Klobuchar's proposal, and his answer couldn't have been more dead-on:

"Whoever she is, she needs to know that I'm saying she needs to be locked up-- put away in cuffs." He added, "People need to have the freedom... people need to be able to sing songs. I just think that's ridiculous." 

As far as making corrupt politicians who cater to corporate agenda think twice... we'll see. Hollywood's most blatant legislative whore, Howard Berman, affectionately known as the congressman from the RIAA-- and every other Hollywood trade group-- just did a big reelection fundraiser in Beverly Hills... and raised $1.6 million in one night. Next time you're thinking about what terrible slimebags the Republicans are-- and they are-- think about Democrats like Howard Berman as well. Do you think he cares about a grassroots groups running an ad against Amy Klobuchar? I don't. If Justin Bieber and some of his friends donated $1.6 million to the cause... he might.

You'd Never Vote For A Republican? What If Justin Bieber Ran As One Against Amy Klobuchar?

OK, this is all fantasy. Justin won't even be 18 until next March and he's not only not an American citizen, he's not interested in becoming one... and at least in part because he loves Canada's socialized medicine. He is anti-Choice though, and ambivalent about gays, so we can stretch the fantasy a little and imagine him as a Republican. (He's unsure himself which party he'd back if he was old enough to vote and if he was an American citizen.)

"I really don't believe in abortion, Bieber says. "It's like killing a baby." How about in cases of rape? "Um. Well, I think that's really sad, but everything happens for a reason. I don't know how that would be a reason. I guess I haven't been in that position, so I wouldn't be able to judge that."

But suspend disbelief for a moment and imagine Bieber has been a secret U.S. citizen for the past 9 years, is willing to live in Minnesota and is secretly 30-- passing the 3 constitutional requirements to take a Senate seat [although the Senate did allow 3 guys to enter who were barely out of their teens-- Henry Clay of Kentucky (29) in 1806, Armistead Mason of Virginia (28) in 1816 and John Eaton of Tennessee (28) in 1818].

Obviously, no matter how you look at it, a 6 year stint in the Senate would be a tremendous step down in the world for Bieber. But, as you can hear from the radio interview above he is pissed off at Minnesota Senator Amy Klobuchar. Before retiring for a life as a blogger, I was the president of Reprise Records. Many people in the music industry made the same basically Luddite mistake Klobuchar is making and they are responsible for the demise of the record industry as we knew it back then. Monday Julianne Shepherd explained the whole problem at Alternet, a problem that could put blogs like DWT out of business, or at least under the thumb of the government.

In June, Senator Amy Klobuchar, D-Minn., introduced SB 978, specifically “to amend the criminal penalty provision for criminal infringement of a copyright, and for other purposes.”

In lay terms, it’s the “illegal streaming bill,” and it would essentially make the streaming of any copyrighted material on the Internet a felony punishable by up to five years in prison. On paper, it sounds innocuous-- copyrighted material and the Internet have a contentious history, and efforts to curb piracy have conflicted with the concept of the Internet as a free exchange for information. But SB 978 is a sweeping curtailing of Internet rights under the guise of hindering piracy, and just one more bullet in a broader government effort to end the web as we know it, and snip away at the First Amendment.

Worse is the potential of SB 978 to prosecute those individuals uploading YouTube videos. This will not simply target those people uploading full movies there or to other video streaming sites. It could also be used to curb individual musicians who upload their cover versions of copyrighted songs, a tradition that practically made YouTube what it is today. The nonprofit Fight for the Future is particularly concerned with this aspect, and has launched a campaign called “Free Bieber,” using the example of Justin Bieber’s rise to fame as a way to get out the message. (Ironically, Bieber’s camp has issued a cease-and-desist over using his name in the campaign.)

The implications are far broader than a Bieber, though. When Rufus Wainwright and Sean Lennon covered Madonna’s “Material Girl” at Occupy Wall Street, if someone had uploaded a video of the performance to YouTube, Madonna (or whomever owns her music) could sue the uploader if it’s deemed a “public performance.” Reports the Internet advocacy group Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF):

In general, a “public performance” of a work under the Copyright Act occurs when a work is performed before a substantial gathering of people (for example, a concert) or when the work is transmitted in a way that it can be accessed by members of the public, even if individuals receive the performance in different places or at different times (for example, a TV broadcast).
As an initial matter, it’s hard to narrow the kinds of activities such a bill could potentially encompass. Practically speaking we wouldn’t expect to see most of these pursued or prevailing; however, uncertainty and the fear of prosecution and defense expenses could well discourage innovation in online services and lawful speech.

Enactment of this law could affect the millions of unknown, non-professional musicians who film themselves singing, say, John Lennon or Rihanna songs from their bedrooms. It’s hard to imagine the music industry attacking average citizens-- right? But who can forget the RIAA’s lawsuits against individuals who downloaded music as a way to make an example of their piracy stance-- including, in 2003, a 12-year-old girl living in New York public housing?

But that’s not where it ends: one troubling aspect of SB 978 is that its vague language enables it to forge a path to criminalize even linking to copyrighted information “like corporate media news sources, and shut down the alternative media”-- like AlterNet:

Copyrighted works protected here include audio-only works (musical works and sound recordings), audiovisual works (motion pictures, television programs, etc.), and computer programs. So if the bill is enacted, anyone engaged in webcasting without a license would appear to be subject to criminal penalties. While we still believe the focus is firmly on the illegal streaming of audiovisual content (like movies, live sporting events, other television programs), it is clear that the law could be used against anyone who is webcasting without the required licenses. One more reason to come into compliance with the statutory license applicable to webcasting.

The bill has serious bipartisan support-- Klobuchar introduced SB 978 along with John Cornyn, R-Tex. and Christopher Coons, D-Del., all members of the Senate Judiciary Committee. They were acting on a desire of Obama’s “IP czar” to attach bigger punishments to Internet-related crimes, believing that law enforcement will be more willing to prosecute with higher stakes. But it’s also another step toward curtailing First Amendment rights, as Congress navigates the tricky line between freedom of speech and the web...usually coming out on the side of corporations.

Meanwhile, Fight for the Future has toned down its previously Bieber-heavy Web site, while making it clear that music isn’t its only concern. For instance, it uses the example of libraries as a comparable resource to the Internet archives that both companies and individuals have spent decades building, asking the pressing question, “After spending thousands of years building libraries of donated books, why do governments try to tear them down when they happen spontaneously online?”

As America’s cash-poor libraries, cornerstones of our democracy, struggle to stay afloat, the open-source aspect of the Internet allows those who have enough funds to purchase every bit of information they ingest to learn at the same rate as those who do-- and to be competitive in both school and in their jobs. So as “Internet regulation” looks more like wholesale capitalism-- and another way to fracture our country, already smarting from inequity-- it becomes more important to uphold the First Amendment in all aspects of our culture... whether on Wall Street or online.

Luckily for Klobuchar, the Republicans are probably too lame to exploit this. If they did it right, she'd have virtually no chance to be reelected next year-- no matter how many slick puff pieces Rachel Maddow does for her without even bringing up her attack on free speech, and even though she does have some clueless, snarky mean people supporting her position.

Justin Bieber's YouTube for "Baby," the song that helped make his name a worldwide household term, has had 649,813,596 views. Think of them as votes. When Amy Klobuchar won her seat in 2006 she got 1,279,515 votes. Two years later, Obama got 66,882,230. In fact, add in McCain's 58,343,671 and you still don't even come close to Bieber... and their combined marketing campaign cost a lot more than his.

OMG, it's Justin Bieber's birthday! And we've got not one but TWO pictures!

Plus a number of, er, "news" items bound to be
of interest to Justin and his fans


by Ken

Howie and I were chatting the other day, and the subject of Young Justin came up -- after I slapped this picture of the lovely lad into a post that plumbed the depths of the raging issue of his haircut -- and he asked how old the youngster is. Based just on my remote impressions of how long I've been hearing about him, without having more than the vaguest idea who he is or what he does beyond being very pretty indeed, I threw out the number 16.

I mention this not to brag, but simply to explain how it came about that today, while matters of lesser importance raged around me, with datelines like Libya and Madison, I came to be seeking the correct answer once and discovered that today, March 1, is Justin's 17th birthday! Happy b-day, J-man! Knowing from my previous post how much interest there is in our boy, I thought this would be an appropriate occasion to share more of my knowledge of the subject. Unfortunately, I may have not only exhausted but exceeded the state of my knowledge in my previous post, regarding the famous haircut. This second photo, by the way, is a pre-haircut one, I'm pretty sure. I spent a lot of time researching the subject. (Of course it's made easier by the fact that the boy in this photo seems nowhere near 17. According to the Wikipedia caption, though, this photo was taken way back in 2010, at the White House Easter Egg Roll.)

Needless to say, given Justin's minor status, one hasn't even attempted to track down, let alone pass along, any naked photos, though one can hope that next year on this day the Internet will be awash in them. Say, do you suppose the preceding sentence is enough to have this post called up anytime anyone Googles "Justin Bieber" and "naked photos"? Now I'm really feeling the pressure to provide Justin-friendly content. OK, here goes.

JUSTIN AND YOU STILL HAVE A DAY TO TRY TO
USE THIS NATIONAL PANCAKE DAY TRAVEL TIP

In my book most every day is, or ought to be, National Pancake Day -- and I'm not much interested in those fancy frou-frou jobbies, just the regular kind, though I go as far afield as to mix whole wheat flour and cornmeal into the batter. I also totally grasp the concept of apple pancakes, though my personal efforts at same, with very different recipes, have been pretty unsuccessful. That just reinforces my impulse to stick to basics.

And I don't even put syrup on them! Not just not maple syrup but not that modern miracle, pancake syrup either. (The difference, I gather, is that where maple syrup is made by boiling down the sap of the maple tree, pancake syrup is made from the sap of the pancake tree.) Sometimes I think my devotion to pancakes is as carriers of butter -- just slather the stuff on. Not exactly figure-friendly, but heck, it's a holiday. National, you know, Pancake Day.

For this great event Spirit Airlines has a special $9-each-way round-trip fare promotion -- though goodness knows how much the actual cost is, assuming you're actually able to book a qualifying flight. For starters there's membership in their Fare Club, and then: "Fares are listed per person and do not include all taxes and fees. Additional baggage charges may apply."

I assume everyone saw the "Hecks on a Plane" episode of The Middle (a refreshingly quirky show I'm quite fond of), where the family booked a mostly free flight to New York, and Frankie (Patricia Heaton) -- with a mortified Sue (Eden Sher) and Axl (Charlie McDermott) looking on -- struggled gamely and ultimately [SPOILER ALERT!] successfully to defy the laws of luggage physics and force her trunk-size suitcase through as a carry-on in order to save the $25 baggage-check charge.

Nevertheless, Spirit surely has the spirit right. Who doesn't associate National Pancake Day with forced-date-and-destination air travel? You know, Justin must travel a lot. While I imagine he generally books his flights somewhat farther ahead, with this promotion he might be able to save a bundle.

SPEAKING OF SWELL BARGAINS, I'VE GOT
A BIRTHDAY-DINNER SUGGESTION TOO

On the subject of Justin's travels, I don't know where exactly the birthday boy is today, but if he's in the New York area, I would point out that through Thursday my supermarket has bits of boneless sirloin steak on sale for $3.99/pound. This is still a price point I don't frequently rise to, but remember, it's boneless, and for my birthday last week I splurged and shelled out $3.51 (but who's counting?) for a piece, from which I got two meals. Yeah, the meat at my supermarket is kind of crappy. Still, it was tasty, if chewy. Both times.

I guess by the time this appears Justin will have had his birthday dinner, but as I mentioned, the sale is in effect through Thursday.

OBVIOUSLY JUSTIN APPEARS IN PUBLIC A LOT,
BUT IS HE COMFORTABLE SPEAKING IN PUBLIC?

For a lot of people, as we know, speaking in public is one of the worst nightmares. This bit of wisdom from Groupon the Cat has been on my mind since it turned up with yesterday's Groupon "deal" offer:

The Groupon Guide to: Presentations

In today's lecture-driven workplace, there are no jobs that don't require employees to give at least 15 presentations per day. Here are some tips on giving a successful presentation:

• Start with a joke, then close with the same joke to indicate that the presentation is finished.
• Shouting makes everything more memorable.
• Make eye contact with your audience. This is especially effective if you are crying.
• Imagine that the audience is naked -- they're doing the same to you.

I was so impressed -- especially by the first two suggestions -- that I left a comment, to the effect that with these brilliant tips no one need ever again be afraid of speaking in public. Today I had a Facebook message (my Groupon account seems somehow linked into my Facebook one) from a sympathetic soul who was moved to correct me, informing me that, on the contrary, these suggestions are "a disaster." She invited me to visit a session of an organization she is somehow connected with -- in the Erie, PA area. [Note: I had a link to yesterday's version of this Groupon the Cat tip, but our blog software ate it up along with about a third of this post, and in reconstructing it I haven't been able to retrieve that link. Apparently these tips are periodically recycled. This link appears to be to an earlier appearance.]

I don't expect to be in Erie anytime soon, and in any case have to stand by my original response. This idea of starting and finishing with the same joke -- genius! And shouting? Brilliant! In today's gently comported world of polite discourse I find there's not nearly enough shouting.

Now, at the moment for Justin it doesn't seem to matter that when he opens his mouth to talk -- at least from the bits I've heard -- the whole magical aura of his physical appearance is obliterated by sheer dullness. I gather that what he does in public is sing. However, as a public figure he presumably does occasionally need to be able to speak in public, and while I'm not sure that my commenter's organization is equipped to help with the problem of not having anything sensible to say, if he's interested, I'll be happy to supply the name. It's the least I can do. (Presumably the organization has outlets in locations other than Erie.)

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