Interesting thoughts from Alexandra Petri about Alec Baldwin and the new-media culture -- and not just about AB

Tina Fey and Elaine Stritch were on hand to cheer on 30 Rock cohort Alec Baldwin when he was one of the Tisch School for the Arts's 2009 honorees for achievements and philanthropy in the arts.

by Ken

"Attention, everyone! Alec Baldwin is leaving the public eye!" So Alexandra Petri began her washingtonpost.com blogpost this morning, "The most important paragraph from Alec Baldwin’s farewell to public life."

There is, of course, an enormously rich vein of humor to be mined from AB's harrumphing declarations of intent to turn his back on: (a) New York and (b) the public eye, and everyone and his brother, sister, nieces, and nephews is accepting the invitation to jump sarcastic on poor Alec.

It would be unfair to ask washingtonpost.com's Alexandra, whose brief after all is to find the humorous side of the news to decline such an invitation, and she has some excellent fun with AB's New York Magazine "Vulture" as-told-to blogpost "Good-bye, Public Life." Like her note that AB has "a great deal to say -- about paparazzi, new media, his experience losing a TV show on MSNBC and being called out for homophobia, and whose fault all of it was (spoiler: not his!)."


BEFORE GOING ON, LET ME SAY TWO THINGS

(1) In the matter of X v. Paparazzi, where X = Just About Anybody on the Planet, in the absence of pretty clear evidence to the contrary I rule by default in favor of X. I don't want to see any of their damned pictures, so let them not claim that they do any of what they do on behalf of my right to see.

(2) I'm a huge Alec Baldwin fan. For the record, I wasn't always. In his earlier supposed hot-leading-man career, I didn't buy him. But over time I warmed to him, and in his years as Jack Donaghy on 30 Rock he gave us one of the stupendous characters to be created on a stage or screen of any size. I felt that way as the series unfolded, and felt it more strongly in years of watching syndicated reruns, and now that i've started working my way through my Amazon Gold Box Deal complete 30 Rock DVDs I can say it that much more emphatically. Every scene he played with every actor he worked with on the show is magic, and I couldn't begin to find words to describe all the years of his collaboration with Tiny Fey as Liz Lemon or the incandescence of the episodes he did with Elaine Stritch as the one and only Colleen Donaghy. (I hope it goes without saying that the collaboration included the brilliant 30 Rock writers. Clearly the writers were in turn further inspired by their discovery of what their stars could do.)

But AB's professional accomplishments of course have nothing to do with either his personal qualities or the rightness or wrongness of his pronouncements. So let's get back to that.


ALEXANDRA IS ACTUALLY RATHER GENTLE
IN CHIDING ALEC'S "NEVER AGAIN" STANCE

"I'm aware that it's ironic that I'm making this case in the media, but this is the last time I'm going to talk about my personal life in an American publication ever again.'

-- Alec Baldwin, in the NYM "Vulture" blog interview

To which Alexandra says:

Yes. Nothing says, 'Farewell, news media! I hate and distrust you with a blinding passion! I am a recluse now!' like 'Here I am on your newsstands, large as life!' "Goodbye,' in print, is so seldom "goodbye.' I say this as someone who has written possibly a dozen pieces announcing that I Will Never Write About Sarah Palin Again (And Next Time There Will Be No Next Time). This only goes one way.

MORE IMPORTANTLY, ALEXANDRA CREDITS
ALEC WITH MAKING "ONE INTERESTING POINT"

Alexandra directs us to this paragraph from the interview:

In the New Media culture, anything good you do is tossed in a pit, and you are measured by who you are on your worst day. What's the Boy Scout code? Trustworthy. Loyal. Helpful. Friendly. Courteous. Kind. Obedient. Cheerful. Thrifty. Brave. Clean. Reverent. I might be all of those things, at certain moments. But people suspect that whatever good you do, you are faking. You're that guy. You're that guy that says this.

She allows that she's "not sure Baldwin's own case is the best illustration of this principle (see Ta-Nehisi Coates in the Atlantic for an eloquent explanation of why)," but allows as well that "it still has a ring of truth to it."

Boy Scout values aside, is this what we're dealing with now? What are we judged by?

F. Scott Fitzgerald called personality 'a series of successful gestures.' And with new media, every single gesture has to be successful. One false move, one ill-thought remark, one Weiner picture, and -- there you go. It's always the worst story that floats to the top of your Google results. Even if you're a public figure like Baldwin, with years of goodwill at your back.

Alexandra goes on to make the point more forcefull with reference to people other than AB, on whom this fact of new-media life "comes to bear most painfully," since AB "was famous already" and "will be fine."

But many people want to be famous. Few people actually are, at least not the level of famous that most of us would consider to be worth the trouble. Famous is always 1,000 more twitter followers than you've got, just as drunk is one more drink than you've had. Still, everyone's living in public, never far from a camera or a smartphone. And all our unsuccessful gestures get caught -- in print, on tape, where they can stick.

The low point always pops back up. And there's countless examples of people saying one lousy thing -- be it racist, sexist, homophobic, too-soon-after-a-tragedy, or just downright ugly in another way -- and being shamed to the point where that will be the only thing that ever appears when you Google them, and some will even lose their jobs. Maybe some of these people are awful all the time. But you don't need a pattern. One -- as long as it sticks in the craw -- is all you need. And it's not just ugly remarks that can be your lowest point. Look at what happens with nude pictures or whenever it surfaces that a teacher had a porn career. No matter how hard you dig yourself out, you're that guy.

And not all of us can stuff a magazine article at the top of our search results.

Nice, Alexandra.

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The "30 Rock" gang shows us the true spirit of Christmas -- from which "as hard as you try, no one can escape"

"Christmas Attack Zone": In this year's Christmas episode of 30 Rock, Jack (Alec Baldwin) explains, "We Donaghys believe that when there is something at all delicate to talk about, it is best to suppress it-- until it erupts into a fistfight in a church barbecue," and his seven-months-pregnant lady friend Avery (Elizabeth Banks) chimes in, "The symbol on the Jessup family crest is a knight refusing to talk about his feelings."

"You know what I learned tonight? As hard as you try, no one can escape the horror of Christmas."

-- Liz Lemon (Tina Fey), in this year's
Christmas episode of 30 Rock

by Ken

Liz, who'd been ducking "the annual Lemon family blow-up" of Christmas back in White Haven, planning to travel on Christmas Day and swoop in in time for presents, but instead has found herself immersed in the Christmas dramas of all her NBC-TGS nearest-and-dearest, went on to say:

As hard as you try, no one can escape the horror of Christmas. So it might as well be with your onw family. I'm going to go get a bus to White Haven now, and I should be home just in time for Aunt Linda to try to prove that she's sober by holding someone's baby while cooking.

I know Christmas is over, but I'm so imbued with the holiday spirit that I just rewatched the 30 Rock Christmas episode, which is just chockful of it, what with Liz accepting an invitation to the Donaghy family Christmas, figuring it's safe thanks to the dependable old-line right-wing tradition of keeping feelings safely bottled up, only to find herself in the midst of a family free-for-all -- starring, of course, the reigning queen of family dysfunction, Colleen Donaghy, direct from the Death Shore Retirement Community -- another memorable appearance by the great Elaine Stritch, but also featuring the return of Jack's "hippie pacifist" real father, Milton Greene (Alan Alda), who reported excitedly from Vermont that they've just gotten caller ID there!

It's also an episode in which Tracy, still trying to establish his new image as a "serious actor" in hopes of winning a Golden Globe, appears at a Christmas Eve charity function, as Dotcom (Kevin Brown) points out many stars do, including Russell Crowe, who's holding one "for victims of his own mood swings." Resuming tomorrow there'll be plenty of time for the Social Security mess, the Obama triangulation mess, the Afghanistan mess, the Irish mess, and all those other messes and messes-to-come. For now let's just revel a bit more in the spirit of the holidays. (Of course Jack Donaghy would insist on "Christmas" rather than "holidays." He's the pathologically Jesus-defiling Bill O'Reilly's and Bill Donohue's kind of guy.)


SOME ELAINE STRITCH MUSICAL MEMORIES

It seems to me we're going to need a DVD compilation of Elaine Stritch's memorable 30 Rock episodes. Meanwhile, I yanked these records off the shelf, memorializing two memorable Stritch Broadway roles: the first a smallish one in a landmark musical with a large ensemble cast in with which she darned near stole the show, the second a starring role in a not very successful and now (despite the distinction of its principal creator, Noël Coward) mostly forgotten show.

Regular readers won't be surprised that I'm presenting these numbers in exactly backwards order (both the two shows, and the numbers within the Sail Away group). Note that tonight's late-night post (midnight ET, 9pm PT) features a much more recent Elaine Stritch video performance of "Here's to the Ladies Who Lunch."

From Company (1970), music and lyrics by Stephen Sondheim

"Here's to the Ladies Who Lunch"
Elaine Stritch, from the Original Broadway Cast Album, Harold Hastings, cond. Capitol, recorded 1970

From Sail Away (1961), music and lyrics by Noël Coward

(Sorry about the LP surface noise early on in the "Why Do the Wrong People Travel?" track. I came close to paying the 99 cents to download this great song, but the noise cleared up, and as I like to say, 99 cents saved here and there adds up to 99 cents saved here and there.)

"Why Do the Wrong People Travel (When the Right People Stay Back Home)?" (Mimi Paragon)

"You're a Long, Long Way from America" (Act I finale, Mimi and company)

"Come to Me" (opening number, the Stewards and Mimi)

Elaine Stritch and company, from the Original Broadway Cast Album, Peter Matz, arr. and cond. Capitol, recorded October 1961

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"Surplus canvas waterboarding hoods" made into messenger bags? It appears "30 Rock"'s ratings are good enough to get away with such stuff!

In the 30 Rock episode "Brooklyn Without Limits," clueless "maverick" congressional candidate Steve Austin (John Slattery) encourages blind voters to believe that he's the wrestler of the same name and "senile" voters to believe that he's the Six Million Dollar Man.

"As God is my witness, we will build casinos on the moon!"

-- Rhode Island "small government" crackpot congressional
challenger Steve Austin, pressing his signature issue

"In the mid-'90s [Halliburton] found themselves with a surplus of canvas waterboarding hoods, so they had sweatshops make them into messenger bags to sell to outer-borough idiots."

-- Jack Donaghy, bursting Liz Lemon's mini-green
eco-bubble in last Thursday's 30 Rock

by Ken

An amazing episode this week (written by Ron Weiner), as --

TRACY TURNS TO JENNA FOR ADVICE
ON WINNING A GOLDEN GLOBE AWARD

And Jenna (Jane Krakowski) advises Tracy (Tracy Morgan), who has been nominated for his undoubtedly aptly named movie Hard to Watch, on how to make an impression on the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, including -- "when the time's right" -- attempting to bribe them.

TRACY: I'm not an expert at morality, but isn't that wrong?
JENNA: You're asking me?
[TRACY and then JENNA burst into laughter.]

(It turns out that Jenna is actually trying to sabotage Tracy, as she readily admits to Liz when Liz points out that Jenna is still jealous of Baby Jessica for drawing all that attention away from her. It seems Jenna knows from personal experience that it's not possible to buy a Golden Globe award. She shows Liz her Golden Globes banned-for-life card to prove that she's been banned for life for attempting it.)

JACK LEARNS CONGRESSIONAL NEMESIS REGINA
BOOKMAN FACES A STIFF REELECTION CHALLENGE

Grandstanding Rhode Island Congresswoman Bookman (Queen Latifah), you'll recall, has been threatening to block the acquisition of NBC by cable giant Kabletown. On learning that she faces a serious reelection challenge, Jack (Alec Baldwin) orders his toadyingly loyal assistant, the hopelessly love-struck Jonathan (Maulik Pancholy), to bring challenger Steve Austin to him for vetting. It turns out that Steve, played by John Slattery (Mad Men's Roger Sterling), is building his electoral strategy around encouraging voters to think he's either wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin or the Six Million Dollar Man.

Still, Jack is encouraged to learn that Steve believes in small government.

STEVE: Or no government at all. If it works in Antartica [sic], why can't it work here? If we have to have government, make it as small as possible. Dwarves. Tiny buildings. Pizza bagels for lunch --
JACK: Maybe we should stop at "small government." Let's cut to the chase. I need you to assure me you would never allow the government to interfere with the sale of one company to another.
STEVE: Course not! The government shouldn't interfere in anything. What happens inside a man's own rain poncho at a minor-league baseball game is his own business.
JACK: Well, Steve, we should stop talking.

Jack supervises the filming of a Steve Austin TV spot. Steve delivers the text mechanically, with occasional semaphore-style arm gestures.

STEVE: I am a constitutional originalist, and I believe that our founding fathers had it right. We need to get back to their America: [ticking the points off with his fingers] no paved roads, rum used as an anesthetic, legalized slavery.
JACK: All right --

LIZ'S LIFE IS TRANSFORMED BY THE DISCOVERY
OF MIRACLE-FIT JEANS FROM A STORE IN BROOKLYN

One and all are stunned by the transformation in our Liz (Tina Fey). Is it any wonder that after seeing her miraculously slimmed lower torso in the mirror Liz bought an additional ten pairs on the spot, and instructed the store clerk to burn her old jeans?

What's more, Liz is under the (mis)impression that the maker is a small eco-friendly company that's engaged in saving the world. Jack bursts her mini-green eco-bubble.

LIZ: Hey, don't talk down Brooklyn Without Limits. Stores like this are saving the world.
JACK: Really? You're going to lecture me about big business again. Do you know who owns Brooklyn Without Limits?
LIZ: Brooklyn Zack! He throws pool parties in Dumpsters.
JACK: Halliburton. In the mid-'90s they found themselves with a surplus of canvas waterboarding hoods, so they had sweatshops make them into messenger bags to sell to outer-borough idiots.
LIZ: You don't know what you're talking about. [She swivels so the BWL jeans label, which says "HAND-MADE IN USA," is facing Jack.] "Hand-made in USA."
JACK: Your magic jeans are from BWL? Oh, Lemon, it's not "hand-made in USA." It's pronounced "Hond-made in Oosa." The Hand people are a Vietnamese slave tribe, and Usa is their island prison. They made your jeans. You know how they get the stitching so small? [Whispers through his hand.] Orphans.
LIZ: No! Brooklyn Zack is real. He just got back from Peru, where he met a family that's been making hats for 2000 years.
JACK: We all make our compromises. At least I'm doing it for our company, for jobs. You're doing it [turning and shouting so everyone around can hear] for your ass.
LIZ [as JACK walks away]: I don't believe you. The liberal media would have told me about this.
JACK [turning back to face her]: There's no such thing. The New York Times is owned by NYT Incorporated, which is owned by Altheon Ballistic Dynamics, which is owned by the Murdoch family, which is owned [great dramatic two-hand gesture of surprise] by Halliburton.
[With JACK gone, LIZ is left with a wounded look on her face.]

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Quote of the week: Jack Donaghy, preparing to negotiate Tracy Morgan's new contract, explains to Liz, "With Tracy it's not about money anymore"

Tracy and Jack in pre-contract-negotiation times

"With Tracy it's not about money anymore. His video game made a fortune, and he invested all of it in a company that dismantles bank signs. They're doing very well."

-- Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin), from this week's 30 Rock

Think of this quote as an introduction to the post that will follow it at 5pm (PT)-- and of this little song about Paul Krugman a take away from both:

30 Rock: with The Office and Burn Notice, two hours of terrifically written and acted TV

"They're all former investment bankers who were laid off in the economic crash that Nancy Pelosi caused. [Smiling affectionately.] They've got zero real-world skills, but God, they work hard!"

-- GE-NBC exec Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin) to producer Liz Lemon (Tina Fey), about the snide, hypercompetitive new pages assigned to her show ("a little old," she has observed, "and overdressed"), in last week's 30 Rock episode

by Ken

And Jack would know how hard his over-age-frat-boy pages work. He asks them "to run out and pick up some flowers, a collection of bath soaps, and some Spanish-language gossip magazines," and they make a mad, elbows-flying dash for the elevators. (It turned out that Jack was trying desperately to win over the grandmother of Elisa, the Puerto Rican nurse he's fallen in love with, played by the lovely Salma Hayek. He's under the impression that the old woman doesn't like him -- perhaps because, as we saw in a flashback, she's told him that she hates him.)

I've been trying for a week to think of something remotely as smart as this dazzling bit of dialogue to say about 30 Rock. In the erratic but irresistible first season most of the fun came from ultra-corporatist Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin) and his underclass counterpart, ultra-loyal (and ultra-bizarre) page Kenneth (Jack McBrayer). By the show's second season, though, all the wacky elements had hit their stride, and the momentum has carried through brilliantly to this, the third season.

To her credit, show creator Tina Fey didn't demand the spotlight, and her own character, producer Liz Lemon has grown into one of TV's most cherishable (albeit near-hopeless) characters -- her show seeming week by week less under her control, and her personal life in even worse shape. The show functions just this side, or maybe a bit over the edge, of insanity.

And NBC has paired it brilliantly with its other great sitcom, the astonishing American version of The Office. (There must be some weird schedule-balancing principle at work in plunking the hour comprising The Office and 30 Rock right after an hour filled with the flesh-crawling My Name Is Earl and Kath and Kim. Is there anybody who watches both hours?) And now with USA's Burn Notice at 10pm ET/PT as gripping and amusing as ever in its third season, we've got as solid a two-hour TV block as I can remember: smart and funny, terrifically written and acted.

(At that same hour, according to NBC promos ER continues to be shown for what is claimed to be a final season. Surely this is just a cunning cost-cutting measure, though. Didn't ER go off the air, like, 10 years ago? Surely nobody has watched it since then. My theory is that the scam goes like this: NBC simply continues to list it on the schedule and, since no one is watching, saves money by not running any actual program. Must be tough on the ad salesfolks, but it can't be much tougher than a lot of the crap they have to sell where there is an actual program.)

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