Quotes of the day: No doubt Chimpy the Prez and his henchthugs need a lesson in accountability, but let's hope they didn't see "The Office" last night

"Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me! [Pause] No, don't sue me! That's the opposite of the point I'm trying to make."
--Dunder Mifflin Scranton Regional Manager Michael Scott [Steve Carell, above], the nitwit boss-from-hell of The Office, after sending employee Meredith flying in the company parking lot--and cracking her pelvis--in last night's season premiere, "Fun Run"

"As a farmer, I know that when an animal is sick, sometimes the right thing to do is to put it out of its misery. With the electricity we're using to keep Meredith alive, we could power a small fan for two days. You tell me what's ethical. [To Meredith] Blink once if you want me to pull the plug."
--Dwight K. Schrute [Rainn Wilson, right], assistant to the Scranton regional manager and lifelong beet farmer, while inspecting the medical equipment to which seemingly unconscious Meredith is hooked up in her hospital room, during a reluctant visit ordered by Michael (she quickly comes alive to emphatically nix any thoughts of plug-pulling)

"You spend your life getting people to like you, and then you run over one person with your car, and it's not even one of the popular ones, everybody gets on your case! Doesn't make any sense. God is dead."
--Michael, to the staff gathered in the conference room

PARTING THOUGHT FROM MICHAEL

Poor Michael gets it in his head that he actually did Meredith [Kate Flannery, left] a favor by mowing her down, because he also got her to the hospital and doctors were able to begin rabies shots promptly, which is how they're most effective--in the event that the patient may actually have been infected with rabies. Michael seems to have it worked out in his head that rabies is a condition Meredith might have contracted spontaneously, independent of her unfortunate interface with his car. (As he puts it later, in launching Michael Scott's Dunder Mifflin Scranton Meredith Palmer Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Pro-Am Fun Race For The Cure: "A woman shouldn't have to be hit by a car to learn that she may have rabies. But that is where we are in America, and that does not sit right with me.")

In the glow of his newly self-appreciated heroism, Michael waxes philosophical:

"Is there a God? If not, what are all those churches for? And who is Jesus's dad?"

During the making of the episode: Somebody (Michael imagines) has to raise awareness that there is a cure for rabies, which (he thinks) people don't seem to know was once virtually eradicated in the country!