Midnight Meme Of The Day!

by Noah

Dateline: Washington, DC

President Chimp On Crack today received a huge endorsement for his 2020 campaign when COVID-19 made it official that it was endorsing the president for re-election. Said Mr. Covid:

The president has demonstrated true leadership in the spreading of our number one product into the marketplace. There isn't a corner of the country where our COVID-19 isn't thriving beyond all expectations. New records are being set everyday! The president's ability to hold virus spreading events and preserve virus freedoms is second to none. He is just the kind of man these times call for!

Said the President in response:

I am bigly bigly pleased to receive this endorsement. As you know, I have worked hard on behalf of the COVID-19 organization and I consider COVID-19 to be one of my bigliest constituencies. My COVID-19 numbers are huge, highest ratings in the world! 40 states are now setting new records in cases! And, I add, by the way, that this is a great endorsement that Obama never received in any of his campaigns. I have hugely increased the number of white blood cells in the world. Powerful things, those white cells. Isn't that right, Stephen? White Power! In choosing me over Sleepy Joe, COVID-19 obviously recognizes a winner. COVID-19 has even lobbied the Noble Prize people to see if they will give me a Noble Prize for something, anything, which people are saying I deserve. Believe me. I definitely deserve a Noble more than Obama and he got one so I deserve two. I deserve one more. That I can tell you. No one talks about that. Obama's prize should be taken away but the Fake News never tells you that either. My efforts to expose everyone in the country to the benefits of COVID-19 will be expanded over the coming years if I am the chosen one again in November and I've met with people that assure me I will be. I look forward to many more years of doing the same great job. In fact, I have sent my wi...um, my daughter over to China where she will be getting some new patents to develop new, innovative strains of the virus for next year and the years beyond. I am also continuing my refusal to put this country on a wartime footing in the manufacture of PPE and I will be signing an Executive Order that will forbid any additional testing. Viruses work best in darkness.

White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany added:

This award endorsement reflects the great power of this great president. That he has achieved what he has in spreading the good news of COVID-19 despite the evil efforts of the Deep State to thwart him is a great testament to his skill as our Dear Leader. Congratulations, Mr. President.