Tuesday, April 23, 2019

What Did The Crackpot Putin Put In The White House Do When He Woke Up This Morning?


Twitter rampage for the crazy fake "president!"

He started at 6AM whining about Paul Krugman: "Paul Krugman, of the Fake News New York Times, has lost all credibility, as has the Times itself, with his false and highly inaccurate writings on me. He is obsessed with hatred, just as others are obsessed with how stupid he is. He said Market would crash, Only Record Highs! And he wasn't done after that. He was just warming up: "I wonder if the New York Times will apologize to me a second time, as they did after the 2016 Election. But this one will have to be a far bigger & better apology. On this one they will have to get down on their knees & beg for forgiveness-- they are truly the Enemy of the People!" [Note: the New York Times never apologized to the Nut-Case-In-Chief.]

A few minutes later, he seemed to have calmed down: "I will be going to Green Bay, Wisconsin, for a really big Rally on Saturday Evening. Big crowd expected, much to talk about. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!" OK, fine. Time to go down to work> Oh, no... something set him off again, almost instantly: "The Radical Left Democrats, together with their leaders in the Fake News Media, have gone totally insane! I guess that means that the Republican agenda is working. Stay tuned for more!"

And you didn't have to "stay tuned" for long. A few minutes later he was off-and-running with his grievances: "In the 'old days' if you were President and you had a good economy, you were basically immune from criticism. Remember, 'It’s the economy stupid.' Today I have, as President, perhaps the greatest economy in history... and to the Mainstream Media, it means NOTHING. But it will!"

He was watching Fox & Friends and decided to do a little add for them with two quickies in a row:
"Sorry to say but @foxandfriends is by far the best of the morning political shows on television. It rightfully has BY FAR the highest ratings, not even close. Morning Psycho (Joe), who helped get me elected in 2016 by having me on (free) all the time, has nosedived, too Angry... ...Dumb and Sick. A really bad show with low ratings-- and will only get worse. CNN has been a proven and long term ratings and beyond disaster. In fact, it rewarded Chris Cuomo with a now unsuccessful prime time slot, despite his massive failure in the morning. Only on CNN!"
And then it turned 7 AM and he still didn't want to go downstairs and get to work, just watch Maria Bartiromo on Fox Business News: "'Harley Davidson has struggled with Tariffs with the EU, currently paying 31%. They’ve had to move production overseas to try and offset some of that Tariff that they’ve been hit with which will rise to 66% in June of 2021.' @MariaBartiromo So unfair to U.S. We will Reciprocate!"

And then he was off on Twitter: "'The best thing ever to happen to Twitter is Donald Trump.' @MariaBartiromo So true, but they don’t treat me well as a Republican. Very discriminatory, hard for people to sign on. Constantly taking people off list. Big complaints from many people. Different names-over 100 M..... .....But should be much higher than that if Twitter wasn’t playing their political games. No wonder Congress wants to get involved-- and they should. Must be more, and fairer, companies to get out the WORD!"

During an ad break, he decided to do a couple of his own ads:

And then he went back to bed for a nappie. While he was ranting and raving, DFA released the results of its new straw poll. Poor Beto-- rapidly disappearing into nothingness. Bernie, Elizabeth Warren and McKinsey Pete all picked up steam in the race to see who would rescue America for the clownish tyrant:
Bernie- 42%
Elizabeth Warren- 11%
McKinsey Pete- 10%
Status Quo Joe- 8%
Kamala Harris-7%
Mike Gravel- 6%
Beto- 3%

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At 5:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you do know a nappie is a diaper... right? doesn't make the sentence incorrect. just a reminder to the readers.


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