Midnight Meme Of The Day!

by Noah

I'm counting the days before Paul Ryan calls a "House Special Committee To Examine Stormy Daniels." You just know all those Republipervs in Congress want to form a panel and bring her in for a hearing. Each one of these sleazo Trey Gowdy and David Nunes types will be sitting there day dreaming that she would spank them just like she spanked Señor Trumpanzee. They'd all be slipping her their cell numbers. You know they've probably already spent our taxpayer dollars buying "research materials" which consist of her movies, and, of course, other similar movies. Of course, more than one congressman will want a detailed description of Trumpanzee's underwear; "Boxers or briefs, color? Were they t-t-t-tight?" This will be Washington as we know it really is.

Such a committee would probably be the biggest committee in number that Congress has ever seen as congressmen of both parties desperately maneuver to gain a seat and a microphone. I can see Anthony Weiner trying to sneak in as if he'd never left, although Stormy's probably a little old for him. His question, of course, would be "Do you have any younger sisters or nieces?" At that, every creep on the hearing panel would snap to attention, cutting in out of order saying "Yes, tell us about the sisters and nieces. Tell us about the sisters and nieces!" Chaos would ensue as whoever chairs the committee would be banging his gavel as loud as possible, begging for order. Once, order is restored, the chairman, probably Ryan himself, will, with barely controlled anticipation, shout "Yes, please tell us about the sisters and nieces. Americans have a right to know, and, by the way, have you ever exchanged any emails with Hillary Clinton?"

The Senate version the Stormy Daniels examination will be even more of a circus, as Mitch McConnell breaks into a profuse sweat as movie stills are passed around, Rafael "Ted" Cruz starts rolling around on the floor speaking in tongues, and Orin Hatch holds up the same, well-thumbed copy of "The Exorcist" that he brought to the Clarence Thomas nomination hearings decades ago and demands that she spank him with it; "Spank me now, and spank me hard. I beg you! Spank me hard!"