The Wall: Cards Against Humanity Takes On Don the Con Trump's Biggest, Best, And Most Tremendous Con!

-by Noah

"I would build a great wall, and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me, and I build them very inexpensively."
-Señor Trumpanzee

From the day he announced his candidacy, Senor Trumpanzee played on the paranoid prejudices and fears of republican and conservative independent voters. Like any master of the conman craft, he knew how to motivate them into voting for him. He knew where the buttons were and he pressed them. "They're rapists." "The drugs." "Mexico isn't sending their best." "They're stealing our jobs." He pressed and he pressed those reactionary emotional buttons over and over again. He's still doing it and his hate-filled and gullible supporters are still eating it up like dogs raiding the cat's litter box.

The wall was always a con. Remember "And Mexico will pay for it?" Now that's "There are other ways they'll be made to pay for it." That's all 3-Card Monte stuff. At the end of the dark days of Trump, the people paying for it will be us, the American taxpayers, one way or the other. It's another trickle down. Meanwhile, you can be damn well sure that the Trump Crime Family will make a profit on whatever work gets done. The only question is which contractors will he try to stiff in our name?

There are a lot of problems in the way of constructing The Wall. Money isn't the only one. Sure, we can produce the billions of dollars it will take. America is the biggest license to print money the world has ever seen, but why even start when 1) the dwindling numbers of people coming across from Mexico make the cost and effort of building The Wall a highly inefficient way of spending our hard-earned tax dollars, and, 2) Washington lacks both the smarts and the honesty to be able to tell us what we would end up paying for this monument to stupidity. Much better things could be done for us all with the kind of money The Wall would cost. Already, Trump has estimated a cost of 10-12 Billion dollars, while fellow psychopathic loons, Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell are saying 12-15 Billion. You have to know that the next figure rolling off their forked tongues will be 24 Billion dollars and climbing. "Inexpensively" my ass. Go ahead. Name the last time a government project of any size came in on budget! We're talking about people who charge us $2000 for a wrench and then go to lunch on our dime.



Before Trump moved into the White House, 650 miles of our southern border already had a fence and those 650 miles cost us 7 Billion dollars. The total border is 1900 miles. As they say; you do the math. Senor Trumpanzee likes to try to finesse this when pressed by saying that we don't really need a complete fence because there are natural barriers. He's referring to the Rio Grande River and some rough terrain. Yeah right; the same Rio Grande River that offers parts you can wade across during droughts. Believe it or not, there are even some places where you can swim when the currents aren't too bad. Just pick your place and time. People have been crossing the river since there were people there to cross it; wildlife before that, which leads to other concerns. As for rocky terrain; it's rough, but it's not mountain ranges and people walk over some of the world's mountain ranges all the time and they're doing it just for recreation. When people feel the need to get somewhere, they get there. Bottom line: Billions spent and no additional security. Bottom Bottom line: Security has nothing to do with building The Wall but getting a piece of the action does, and for that, there will be lots of hands out; little tiny Trump hands.

Another problem is: How do you think various Texas ranchers will feel when Trump's minions come to seize some of their land in order to build his sick joke of a wall? Remember how they felt in Texas when FOX "News" and Alex Jones convinced them that the military's "Operation Jade Helm" wasn't military practice at all but an evil Obama commie plot to steal their land? Plus, there is the general attitude of hardcore Texans towards the big bad federal government anyway that may test their warm and fuzzy feelings for the Big Orange Fascist. You can expect more than one rancher to tie up any government eminent domain claims on his or her land in the courts for years, at additional cost to the taxpayer, of course.

All of this brings us to a very practical way to fight The Wall. A company named Cards Against Humanity, known for a party game in which contestants are forced to answer a question on a black card chosen by an opponent with the funniest, most awkward, and often most politically incorrect white card that they hold in their hands. It's well beyond truth or dare and the game proudly bills itself as "a game for horrible people." Cards Against Humanity also views itself as a kind of political watchdog group. Who better to take on Trump and do it so simply. To market its game, Cards Against Humanity decided to sabotage Trump's inane, astronomically useless and costless wall by buying plots of border land, with help from the public, of course. As Cards Against Humaity sez:

Donald Trump is a preposterous golem who is afraid of Mexicans. So we've purchased a plot of vacant land on the border and retained a law firm specializing in eminent domain to make it as time consuming and expensive as possible for the wall to get built.

Cards Against Humanity made its fans an offer they found hard to refuse. They sold land shares. The deal was this: Those who bought (150,000 subdivided plots reportedly sold out in less than a day) for just an investment of $15.00, get to own a small piece of the land, and as Trump well knows, there's money in real estate! How ironic! In return, investors also get some trinkets in the mail this holiday season, Now, this is a better use of taxpayer dollars! It's cheaper to all of us if it prevents Trump's boondoggle from going any further. Or, at least, if it puts a literal hole in Don the Con's plan, at least something positive has been accomplished. Think of that $15.00 as a wall against The Wall. It's beautiful. It's better. All those people who sent in their $15.00 took advantage of a chance to throw a wrench into the corrupt system, and this wrench cost but a small fraction of a $2000 wrench. Why it's almost as good as getting to throw a real wrench right at Señor Trumpanzee himself. It's the best. It's tremendous. It's inexpensive. Believe me! Chalk up a victory for the forces of creative chaos over mass stupidity!