Midnight Meme Of The Day!

-by Noah

On Tuesday night, I put on the FOX Tiki-Torch channel to see how they were dealing with the Trump Party losses as they mounted up. Ex-pole dancer Tucker Carlson looked physically ill as did something called Brit Hume who spoke like the latest almost life-like robot, fresh out of a crate from Japan. Carlson and Hume were going overboard in their transparent and woefully weak attempts to explain how their boy, former Republican Party Chairman Ed Gillespie could have possibly lost. Charlottesville had filled them with false hopes. They envisioned their battalions of "very fine people" turning Virginia into Alabama, Wisconsin, or something even more in line with their totalitarian dreams. Their main theme was: Blame the dreaded "big government." Time and time again, both miscreants went all OCD, pointing out that the suburbs of northern Virginia are a hotbed of "federal big government" employees who turned out in massive "democrat numbers." The implication was obvious: "Big government," a bloated big government at that, had caused this debacle. Damn, if only there weren't such a "big government," there wouldn't be so many damn federal employee suburbanites and civil service types living just across the border from Washington who "vote Democrat." It was all "this is where 'they' go home at night." To Tucker and Brit, Gillespie's loss was yet another danger of "big government" because those people think a certain way. In reality, every Virginian who, among other things, resented the Trump Party's incessant attempts to take way healthcare finally decided they'd had enough. That was not brought up, nor was the fact that people like Paul Ryan, Mitch McConnell, and their orange fascist freak idol are cancerous tumors on American politics.

After watching 10 minutes of this, I began to wonder if the host of FOX's next show, Sean Insanity, was back stage somewhere putting on a pair of signed used Trump Depends, fitting a rope around his neck, and climbing onto a chair. The thought filled me with joy and eager anticipation. Alas, no such luck. He showed up, but that's OK. There's still the future and maybe he'll do the world a favor and do it live on his buffoonish show next year.

The orange freak fascist and his twitter machine? Well, I'm so glad you asked!

Ed Gillespie worked hard but did not embrace me or what I stand for. Don't forget, Republicans won 4 out of 4 House seats, and with the economy doing record numbers, we will continue to win, even bigger than before!

Well, actually, Gillespie did embrace Trump and what he stands for and, Trump's brain, Steve Bannon said so-

He's closed an enthusiasm gap by rallying around the Trump agenda.

I guess if, by closing the gap you mean losing by 9 points, Bannon is right. Gillespie's campaign advertising made his Trumpism clear. His big issue, in fact, often seemed to be about his and his party's mutual desire to leave all statues and monuments to white supremacy intact. If that isn't embracing Trumpism, I don't know what is. He also went big on fear of gangs and immigrants, once more playing on traditional republican racial fears and feelings. As for the U.S. House races, take a look at where they were. Republicans have won special House elections in Utah (on Tuesday) and, earlier this year, in Kansas, Montana, and South Carolina. Yeah, a Republican winning in those states. What a shocker. Oh and Señor Trumpanzee conveniently forgot to mention that, also earlier this year, California's 34th district went for Democrat Jimmy Gomez. Damn, and I thought Trump said he had a great memory, the best memory. So, not only was it not 4 for 4, all but one of the House special elections were held months ago, not last night as he was trying to imply.

It should also be noted that Ralph Northam was a particularly bad candidate, a wishy-washy conservadem who flip-flopped on the issues of sanctuary cities and statues. All of that should have helped Gillespie. Maybe it did, but he still lost handily. Healthcare was and is more important to Virginia's voters. However, Northam's victory should not make democrats overly confident. He won, but we need much better candidates.

Meanwhile, maybe I'll just offer Tucker and the rest of the repug zombies some "thoughts and prayers," or maybe not. You see, I'm a voodoo guy, and I've got a lot of pins.