Jeff Sessions Speaks, Sort Of

-by Noah

Two quotes from Richard Nixon, as he discussed ways to cover up Watergate:

1. “ You can always say you can’t recall.”

2. “I don’t give a shit what happens. I want you to stonewall it, let them plead the Fifth Amedment, cover up or anything else, if it will save it, save this plan. That’s the whole point.”

If you were playing buzz-word bingo during Tuesday’s Jeff Sessions “testimony,” and you had promised to throw down a tequila shot each time the words ‘don’t recall,’ ‘no recollection,’ or some variation of same (at least 46 times by my count) were uttered by Trump’s Attorney General, you may still be in the hospital or in the local drunk tank. God help you. God help us all.

I sure wish Sessions had just stuck with his refusal to not come before the Senate Intelligence Committee and testify. Instead, he showed up and refused to testify. I guess, like his boss, he always looks for the best way to thumb his nose at as many Americans as possible. The only difference is that Sessions took over 2 hours to do so on TV, while his boss can do it in just 140 characters on Twitter.

On the one hand, it was a waste of TV airtime, but, on the other hand, Americans were able to get yet another example of how much contempt the Trump administration has for them. Like Dan Coats and Mike Rogers last week, Sessions refused to answer questions without having a legal basis to refuse. Sessions wouldn’t even say whether or not he had spoken with President Trump about Comey’s handling of the Russia investigation. Trump’s men act like men with a lot to hide.

To Republicans, oaths obviously mean nothing but there was more going on than the contempt and evasion. That was overkill and is being reasonably well covered.

I had some "favorite" moments. The first one came in his opening statement.

I have never met with or had any conversations with any Russians or any foreign officials concerning any type of interference with any campaign or election in the United States.

Translation: "I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky." Funny how he could be so definite in his opening statement but not at all when asked questions. I’ve never heard of amnesia that comes and goes intermittingly.

I also couldn’t help but notice that Sessions claimed a different version of events surrounding the now infamous “clear the room” meeting between former FBI Director James Comey and President Trump. Last week, Comey said Sessions didn’t respond when he implored Sessions to never put him in that situation again. Sessions said he did respond, so, one of the two men is lying, i.e. perjuring himself. Which of the two men are you inclined to believe, Comey or the one who already lied about meeting with Russians during his confirmation hearing? Or, was it just that amnesia thing again?

I was left with another specific impression that hasn’t gotten as much coverage as it deserves. The republican senators in attendance had a bone to pick. It seems that the existence of California’s new senator, Kamala Harris, really symbolizes something wrong with their world. Harris is a former San Francisco District Attorney and a former state Attorney General who represents California as the state’s junior Senator.

Senator John McCain, who isn’t even on the committee but came as a guest, piped up and tried to intimidate her as he had tried last week but... still she persisted. He singled Senator Harris out for abuse, as did Chairman Richard Burr (R-NC) when she, like other Democratic s enators before her, caught Sessions up when he could not come up with a legal basis to not answer the questions, especially ones dealing with his conversations with Trump. He couldn’t say whether his reason was executive privilege or some super nebulous double secret, previously unconfirmed legality concerning confidential conversations that might be, someday, potentially subject to executive privilege. Try as he might, Sessions just couldn’t quite describe the legal details on that one for the simple reason that this mythical “longstanding practice,” unlike executive privilege, is not laid out in our constitution.



Hmm, what is it about Senator Kamala Harris that makes old white guys from the south so nervous? Sessions even admitted that she made him nervous as he constantly reached for his water glass. I expected that he was about to claim “I dew duclair. Ahh feel a case of tha vapors coming on. Mah ah be excused?”

Sessions is a living dinosaur who walks among us and sees his old plantation world going bye-bye when he looks at Harris. That was an obvious qualification for the job when Trump chose him. The idea that Senator Harris can lean in and ask her questions of him is just soooo wrong to people like Sessions. Even the idea that she can be a senator is wrong to people like Sessions. Sessions deserves and earned 100 times the disrespect he gave us on Tuesday. Good for Senator Harris.

To turn things around and reference a statement from Hillary Clinton, years ago; perhaps it would have been better if Jeff Sessions had just stayed home in his kitchen and baked some cookies.