Monday, January 16, 2012

The Noah Diaries 2011 (29): "Stupid" is what the Republican voter craves (and Mittens could be that man!)


Newt sucks up $30K/hr of our money, Christine "I'm Not a Witch" O'D endorses Mitt, "Keep America American"?, phantom centrists

CAUTION: The following image is pretty darned disgusting, and not recommended for the weak of stomach
After you finish barfing, consider Newt's defense of his "consulting" plunder: "Every American should be interested in expanding housing opportunities" -- though maybe not so much in expanding-Newt opportunities. He also said, "It reminds people that I know a great deal about Washington." In case anyone forgot. (See 12/11.)

by Noah

12/11/11 -- Let's see, Newt Gingrich got $1.6 million from Freddie Mac; he did one hour of work per month . . .

Over the length of time that he "worked" for them, that breaks down to $30,000 per month, or $30,000 per hour. For what?

It gets worse. We bailed out Fannie and Freddie, so the money that was handed to Newt was our money. Our taxpayer dollars! It went from the government through Freddie to Newt. In the New Jersey that I grew up in, that was called money laundering, plain and simple.

We are paying walking, talking asswipes to run for president so they can promote their businesses and book deals, etc., maybe even win the White House, where they can profit further while screwing us every way they can think of.

12/14/11 -- Genius move -- in Texas, where else?

How about this? Republican media darlings World Net Daily exhibited their so-o-o special Republican genius yet again on Sunday. How? Well, it seems that the World Nut Daily hired a plane to tow a banner over the Dallas Cowboys-New York Giants football game at Cowboys Stadium in Arlington, TX. The banner read: "Where’s the real birth certificate?" They made their banner. They hired the plane. They paid the pilot. Two problems, though: One, while the plane completed its mission as requested on Sunday afternoon, since the game was on Sunday night, no one was in the stadium to see it. Two, in any case, Cowboys Stadium has a retractable dome, and it was closed.

Sigh. Texas, Texas, Texas! I can only suppose that your average Texan has spent way too much time drinking way too much out in the way too hot summer sun. You would think that their mother-sisters and father-brothers could figure this out.

12/14/11 -- Christine O’Donnell has not left the coven

Or if she has, it was just long enough to go on FOX and endorse notorious flip-flop-flim-flam-the-puppet-man Mitt. "He’s been consistent since he changed his mind." Yes. Reminds me of "What a terrible thing it is to lose one’s mind." Where do they get these people? This comes after that proud Republican homophobe, has-been former Atlanta Braves pitcher John "Off His" Rocker, endorsed Newtie. The fun never stops.

12/16/11 -- Quote of the Year nominee: Mittens Romney thanks Christine "I’m Not a Witch" O’Donnell for her live-on-FOX endorsement -- and we're reminded that "stupid" is what the Republican voter craves

"Christine has been a leader in the conservative movement for many years. . . . I am pleased to have her on my team."

So let’s take a look at some of Christine’s Greatest Hits!

Even before this episode in Romney’s campaign, I had come to the conclusion that the reason his handlers limit his opportunities to speak out loud in front of a camera is because he would be revealed to be a total stupe. That’s it, his handlers didn’t want the American public to know how incredibly stupid this man is. All the while, Mittens was yearning to let his inner imbecile free!

It shouldn’t be a surprise that Romney doesn’t have too much in the cabeza. After all, his father was a politician, and there aren’t a lot of politicians’ children with any measure of brains walking around. Where I went to college, in Washington, DC, we had a lot of them. It was like there was an affirmative-action program just for brain-challenged Capitol Hill offspring. We even had an Eisenhower and a Humphrey, and the latter was generally considered the dumbest kid to ever walk the campus.

Anyway, this strategy of silence backfired big-time when it became readily apparent that "stupid" is what the Republican voter craves! Dumb works! Can you say Dubya? Look at it; Michele "Toys in the Attic" Bachmann, Rick "Nothing at All in the Attic" Perry, Newt "I Wed Three Wives" Gingrich, Donald "Tribblehair" Trump and his birther nonsense, Herman Cain . . . . One after another they shot to the top of the polls. It was so bad that the Teabagger tax-haters went all melty-melt for Cain’s 9-9-9 plan, which would raise their taxes! They cheered Perry when he proudly mentioned how many people his state has killed. It was like "Yay! He exceeded his quota!"

Meanwhile, Romney’s campaign sat there like a car with four flat tires. What to do? Well, give the mob what it wants, stupid. Start talking! If Romney issues more statements like the one on O’Donnell’s endorsement, we’ll be watching his poll numbers soar! It’s the stupid, stupid!

12/15/11 -- So Mitt Romney wants to "Keep America American"

Mittens has recently used the phrase. The problem is that the KKK used to use it to sum up its philosophy. When Thomas Roberts of MSNBC reported what Romney said, the brass at NBC got upset or maybe just nervous about it and had Chris Matthews issue an apology on behalf of MSNBC. It was quite a cave.

The fact is that Romney said what he said, period. And in the context of what Republicans say all day long, whether it’s about immigration, birth certificates, Kenyan world views, Muslims, "socialist" politicians, or whatever, saying "Keep America American" does at the very leastsound like Romney was engaging in code-speak (or dog-whistling?) to the Republican base. It did indeed sound very much like the KKK.

But the network apologized! It shouldn't have. Thomas Roberts had said nothing to apologize for. Instead, the network should have pressed Romney on what exactly was he saying. What did he mean by those words? We need to see just what he thinks America is. To me, that’s the real story here. The question is not what a talking head at MSNBC said, but what Romney said and why.

Finally, is the brass at NBC just protecting Romney?

12/16/11 -- Thinking nice thoughts: future obituary

Cledus T. Jughead, the last surviving viewer of FOX News, died last night. He was 118. Mr. Jughead embraced his low self-esteem and began watching FOX at age 58. He thoroughly enjoyed 60 years of being swept into an alternate universe of lies and contempt for human decency. In lieu of the flowers that Mr. Jughead detested, his family has asked that contributions be made in his name to Exxon-Mobil, the Flat Earth Society, and the American Society for the Spread of Cancer.

12/17/11 -- Whenever I hear some brain-dead wingnut say the the New York Times is a liberal paper, I choke down my autonomic urge to projectile vomit and opt for the much more sensible (and cleaner) choice of flying into a psychotic rage

Today, the Times’s political editor, Robert W. Stevenson, who writes the "Politics and Government" blog for the paper, wrote a piece on the effort by Americans Elect to get on every state ballot for the 2012 presidential election and offer what he, in his right-wing viewpoint, says would be a welcome centrist ticket. Stevenson explains Americans Elect thusly:
By its own account, the group is driven by civic-minded citizens who feel that moderates and independents have been disenfranchised by the tendency of the two parties to play to their bases. . . .

First of all, despite what Stevenson would have us believe, Obama and the vast majority of the Democrats haven't played to their base. That's why the Democrats are in trouble. Second, we already have a centrist in the White House, and that's the problem. The fact that the writer can call Obama something other than a centrist shows how much of a righty he is.

Stevenson further backs up his propagandizing by quoting former New Jersey Gov. Christine Whitman, who is referred to (laughably) as a moderate. Says Whitman:
This is an effort to empower people. This ticket could win, but at the least it could drive both parties to the center.

Well, it’s nice to know that Whitman is still the same sick joke that she was as a governor. Unless she means that the movement by Americans Elect could drive both parties to the left from where they are now, firmly to the right of center, but somehow I don’t think that’s what she means. Stevenson and Whitman would have us believe that the Democratic Party has been left of center the last 30-plus years while it has rubber-stamped every right-wing poison the Republicans have rammed at us.

Stevenson ends his piece of cow manure by saying that the process could enable the creation of a centrist ticket. Earth to New York Times: We already have that. It’s called "Obama-Biden."

You can google some of Stevenson’s other cowpie articles for additional evidence of what a tool he is. You’ll wonder why FOX hasn’t hired him yet.

12/18/11 -- Texas math = fuzzy math²

Texas governor and pathetic excuse for a presidential candidate Rick Perry may not be able to tell us which three departments he would get rid of if he ever became president [see 11/10], and he may not be able to put together a coherent thought, but he sure knows his math, Texas-style. Perry has now stated that he would cut $5 trillion from President Obama’s $3.7 trillion budget.

Genius! I’m guessing he darn well learnt his arith-a-matikkin’ from those fine Texas schoolbooks that they want the whole country to use. Hey, I bet that in the Perry mind his cuts would result in a $1.3 trillion surplus! I look forward to him promising each and every American a check for an equal share of the "Perry surplus." Lordy be, it’s another Texas Miracle!

History in the making:
Selections from THE NOAH DIARIES 2011

Yesterday: (28) Heard the good news? Pizza is now a vegetable! Plus: Last (?) thoughts on Cain, love Kentucky Baptist-style, Etch A Sketch-pad?, G. Will on Newt, Big House for Blago, and more (12/1-7/11)
Tomorrow: (30) Ron Paul a racist? It can't be! Plus: Who's "a skinny ghetto crackhead"?, Big Ole Butt?, a mighty "Christian" cardinal, Christmas in Jerusalem, and more (12/21-28/11)


And don't forget 2010's Year in Review series and 2009's "12 Days of Christmas Scorn"!

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