DownWithTyranny!: Year 2010, Republicans in Their Own Words, Part 3: It's a Party!

Jimmy Kimmel offers his own preview of Sarah Palin's Alaska.

by Noah

When idiocy meets lunacy . . . it’s a party! A Republican Party!!!

1. “Don’t retreat. Instead, reload.”

-- Sarah Palin

This has become a slogan for Palin, to say the least. You can hear it on her TV show. It’s ironic, since retreat is exactly what she did when she went back on her pledge to serve her state and quit her job as governor of Alaska. Oh well, Alaska’s gain is our loss.

That loss is perhaps best exemplified by Palin’s animal snuff-film show on TLC. Lots of lame politicians, including Sen. John Kerry, have picked up a gun and pretended to be hunters in an effort to rope in some votes, but we’ve never seen a whole TV show dedicated to that purpose. Palin may even have been a hunter for real before the show, but I have my doubts. How many hunters travel into the woods with a manicurist, a full makeup crew, and hairstylists anyway? None of that is as important as the horrid reality that she is pointlessly killing animals for votes. The previous Palin Family show in which they simply updated The Beverly Hillbillies was quite enough. Think about it. Levi is Jethro, the Max Baer character. Bristol is Ellie May, and Palin herself is Granny, complete with a shotgun.

2. “This was a war of Obama’s choosing. This is not something the United States has actively prosecuted or wanted to engage in.”

--RNC Chairmoron Michael Steele,
speaking at a Connecticut fund-raiser in July

We all know that the Republican mind lives in its own alternate-universe bizarro world, but it never ceases to amaze how far the Republicans keep pushing the envelope when it comes to creating new “facts.” Meanwhile, back in the real world, the Afghanistan war was launched seven years before President Obama took office.

3. “Whether they are defending the Soviet Union or bleating for Saddam Hussein, liberals are always against America. They are either traitors of idiots.”

-- Coultergeist

There they go again: pushing that envelope. Poor Ann doesn’t get out very often. Too many staff cutbacks at the asylum.

4. “Barack Obama chose to use his name Barack for a reason; to identify, not with America. You don’t take the name Barack to identify with America. You take the name Barack to identify with what? Your heritage? The heritage, maybe of your father in Kenya, who is a radical?”

-- Glenn Beck, February 4

I’m sensing a pattern here. Sigh. And just what name could President Obama have chosen back when he was born? What name would please the name police at Beck’s Bunker?

How about Jim Bob? Jim Bob Obama. Jim Bob Hussein Obama?

5. “Guess what? Faisal Shahzad is a registered Democrat. I wonder if his SUV had an Obama sticker on it.”

-- Rush Slimebaugh, talking about the man
who attempted a car bombing in Times Square

Meanwhile, again, back in the real world, Shahzad was not even registered to vote, and there was no Obama sticker. The mountain of typical Republican lies grows and grows and grows minute by minute, hour by hour.

6. “As we saw that thing bubbling out, blossoming out -- all that energy, every minute of every day of every week -- that was tremendous to me. That we could deliver that kind of energy out there -- even on an explosion.”

-- Rep. Ralph Hall, from Texas (say no more!),
rapturously describing BP’s “spill” in the Gulf of Mexico

The glassy–eyed Representative Hall is the incoming chairman of the House Committee on Science and Technology. He also plans to command climate and environmental scientists to testify on climate change under oath. He is determined to get to the bottom of the “global warming conspiracy.” Nutball.

7. “My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed. You’re facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don’t think too much further than that. And so what you’ve got to do is, you’ve got to curtail that type of behavior. They don’t know any better.”

-- South Carolina Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer,
arguing against the issuing of food stamps

Apparently Grandma’s descendants aren’t very highly educated either. They might be pretty elitist, or worse too!

8. “The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.”

-- Pat Robertson

Hmmm. I guess that about covers everything, Pat. I especially like the part about the witchcraft. Tell us about the witchcraft, Pat. But, come to think about it, you forgot about the Girl Scouts. (See below.) What about the Girl Scouts? Why did you spare them, Pat?

9. “One might wonder why the Girl Scouts have been spared the painful attacks that have been launched upon the Boy Scouts by the left in recent years. The reasons are simple: The Girl Scouts allow homosexuals and atheists to join their ranks, and they have become pro-abortion, feminist training corps. . . . If the Girl Scouts of America can’t get back to teaching real character, perhaps it will be time to look for our cookies elsewhere.”

-- Washington State legislator Hans Zeiger (see my "Who ARE These People?, Part 5"), considered an up-and-coming Republican talent by many national Repugs, including Ken Starr and Ollie North

I’m not sure how many lesbians end up getting abortions, but it is interesting to see that there are Republicans who are both further to the right and crazier than Pat Robertson. Meet the new wave: Republicans push that envelope in so many ways.

10. “I’m a huge supporter of women. What I’m not is a supporter of liberalism. Feminism is what I oppose. Feminism has led women astray. I love the women’s movement, especially when I’m walking behind it.”

-- Rush “Extra-Wide Load” Limbaugh

Classy guy. I wonder why he can’t keep a marriage together.

11. “Make no mistake about it. Elena Kagan wants to ban books. She thinks there is nothing wrong with banning books based on their political content. Period. That makes her the most dangerous person ever nominated to the Supreme Court.”

-- from a July 1 press release from Tea Party Nation

To most folks, it would go without saying that Justice Kagan has never supported the banning of books, no mater how many times Fox would have its gullible viewers believe otherwise. That said, from this response should we assume that Tea Party Nation is against the removal of all the books that righties have been banning, stealing, or damaging at local libraries for decades? As for “most dangerous,” I guess they forgot to include the activist justices who were responsible for installing George W. Bush.

12. “I want to help clean up the state that is so sorry today of journalism. And I have a communications degree.”

-- Sarah Palin, in a November interview with Sean Insanity