Please spread the word about National Coming Out Day (this Tuesday) to anyone who should know about it

"The only thing I can say for certain is that once I owned who I am, a great burden was lifted from me."

-- Mark Nelson, from a recent Mark Nelson
Newsletter, as quoted in my Wednesday post

by Ken

We got this mailing from the good folks at GetEqual.org about National Coming Out Day, which is coming up on Tuesday, and at first I wasn't inclined to do anything more on the subject, having done one recently taking off from that recent Mark Nelson newsletter dealing with the highly personal subject of having the issue of his own outing taken out of his hands. But the subject is important, and obviously most important to those still grappling with the issue of coming out, which is obviously extremely personal and for most people who face it extremely difficult. But the world has changed to the point where the downside of coming out has gotten less and less and the upside more and more.

So if there's any chance of reaching any of the people grappling with coming out, to try to help them understand that, as Mark Nelson put it, "The only thing I can say for certain is that once I owned who I am, a great burden was lifted from me," I'm all in favor.

(Parenthetical aside: The one group of people who have, relatively speaking, more to lose by coming out is the group of those who have created fictional "straight lives" for themselves, the hard-core closet cases who have internalized the homophobia to the point where they actually believe the homophobic gospel and correspondingly believe that coming out would mean the end of life as they know it. Which, come to think of it, it would, but it would also be the beginning of life based on the real world, in which they don't have to feel any more stigmatized than they stigmatize themselves. So maybe if you're one of those hard-closeted right-wing gays -- of the kind that make reasonable people wonder if there are in fact any straight male Republicans left -- you come honestly by the feeling that owning up to who you are really will cause your life to fall apart. The classic story in this genre remains that of former Rep. Bob Bauman, as related in his 1986 book, The Gentleman from Maryland: The Conscience of a Gay Conservative, which Howie has written about a bunch of times, like here.)

The e-mail version of this missive from GetEqual comes customized with Your Name, so I've left you the option of filling that in in the website version:

[FILL IN YOUR NAME HERE], did you know that National Coming Out Day is coming up next week, on Tuesday, October 11?

For a lot of people, the holiday has become just a time to change your Facebook profile picture. But the holiday can -- and should -- be about so much more.

National Coming Out Day is an opportunity each year to assess what you're doing for LGBT equality. It's a chance to challenge yourself -- and your friends -- to keep being visible and to keep showing courage in the fight for the equality we deserve.

This year, we want to help you in that process!

We try to only ever ask you to do one thing at a time, but we're asking you -- in the honor of NCOD -- to help us in three efforts to enhance the amazing momentum that's building toward equality and justice:

* Video/Photo: We're looking for videos and photos of folks who are coming out for equality. We will use your images to stitch together a video "statement" from the GetEQUAL community for next week. Take a picture/video of yourself holding hand-written signs in front of you, and email it to us at info@getequal.org. Here are the signs we're looking for:

- I'm "occupation" (doctor, teacher, cop, computer geek, retired, unemployed, Wal-Mart cashier, etc.)

- I live in "state"

- I like to "hobby" (play tennis, knit, challenge the status quo, garden, bike the streets of NYC, etc.)

- I'm "identity" (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, transsexual, interest, polysexual, polyamorous, queer, questioning, ally, etc.)

- And therefore I can't "right that you don't have" (feel safe in my job, marry my partner, adopt my own children, sponsor my partner for citizenship, etc. -- find a list here)

- "I deserve more than 12%!!" (number taken from eQuality Giving)

* Come Out for Intersectional Issues: Have you already come out for full LGBT equality without delay and without compromise? Well, take this opportunity to come out for other issues and identities! Click here to make a pledge to come out for other important issues of justice on National Coming Out Day. If we are going to win this progressive fight for equality and justice, we have to come out for a world with full equality and justice for everyone!

* Occupy Together: You've surely seen the gathering momentum in New York City and across the country that the "Occupy Wall Street" organizers have created. As we approach National Coming Out Day, commit to ensuring that the Occupy events in your area are LGBT-inclusive. This is an amazing moment to continue building a progressive movement for true change. Wave your rainbow flag, carry your equality signs, and call on other protesters to join you in coming out for LGBT equality at events across the country -- and you can find those events at www.occupytogether.org.

Whatever you do to celebrate National Coming Out Day, do something. Take a stand. And if you've already taken a stand for yourself, take a stand for someone else. As long as anyone in this country remains unequal, the United States is less than what we can be. As we fight for full LGBT equality, and continue to come out every day of our lives -- as LGBT or as an ally -- let us remember that our destinies are wrapped up in one another's, and we must stand for justice in all corners of our world.

I look forward to seeing your videos, your photos, your intersectional declarations, and your courageous faces at Occupy Together events across the country!

“Burst down those closet doors once and for all, and stand up and start to fight.” -- Harvey Milk

Get Out! Get Active! GetEQUAL!

Robin McGehee, Director

So while it's probably too late to get involved in many of the ways suggested here, there's still time to spread the word about National Coming Out Day to everyone who might benefit from it. And of course Tuesday isn't the deadline for coming out. The time to do it is when you're ready -- absolutely as soon as you can get yourself ready, but only when you're ready, especially considering how many resources there are available now to help people get ready.

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