Squeaky Fromme Leaves Prison. Heads Out On Tour Of Town Halls

-By NOAH

Twilight Zone News reports that former Charles Manson Family member Lynette “Squeaky” Fromme was released from prison on Friday after serving 30 years for an attempted assassination of President Gerald Ford with a .45 pistol in September of 1975. She was released on parole from Fort Worth’s Federal Medical Center Carswell, a facility for prisoners who have been deemed mentally unstable at some point in their lives.

At press time, it was not clear what direction Fromme’s new life would take but her immediate plans have been reported as wanting to immerse herself back into society by undertaking a personal tour of town hall events around the country. “She wishes to be with her own kind, people she can relate to. Keep in mind that cult leader, Charlie Manson, has a self-carved swastika on his forehead”, says one source who nervously requested anonymity.

Reports that FOX News has offered her a position as co-host on the Glenn Beck Show also remain unconfirmed at this time. “She’d be a perfect fit”, says the source. “All of the inmates at Carswell love Beck. They identify with him and see him as a symbol of hope for all of the insane. If he can make it outside and make millions, why not them?”

As much as Fox views itself as “Your Padded Cell On The Air,” they may have serious competition. Industry insiders expect CNN to jump into the game, creating a bidding war for Ms. Fromme. Lou Dobbs is losing ratings and CNN sees her as the perfect co-host for Dobbs.

Fromme was not implicated in the murders of Sharon Tate and eight others in Los Angeles 40 years ago this month.