HUCKABEE KICKS McCAIN'S ASS FROM ELKHART TO ATCHISON, COFFEYVILLE TO ATWOOD-- RICK PERRY DEMANDS HE DROP OUT

Huckabee flattens McCain in Kansas

Later today we'll get into the caucuses and primaries that will help select the next president of the United States but the Republicans also had an interesting get-together in one of the reddest states in the Union, the Kansas caucus. After McCain's appeal at CPAC for the party to rally around him, Kansas Republicans gave him a giant middle finger. He did manage to beat Ron Paul, but Mike Huckabee absolutely buried him, picking up 33 of Kansas' 36 delegates.

With all precincts reporting, Huckabee beat McCain, 60 percent to 24 percent, with 11 percent for Rep. Ron Paul (R-Tex.). Huckabee's victory follows a string of four wins in the South and one in West Virginia on Super Tuesday this week. At stake today were 36 of Kansas's 39 delegates to the Republican National Convention this summer. Huckabee appears to have picked up 33 of those.

Pathetic Bush cypher and former Giuliani deputy dog, the dependably clueless Rick Perry called Huckabee yesterday and told him-- presumably on behalf of McCain and the Elders of Zion-- to get his ass out of the race. All he's doing now is reinforcing that McCain is hated by a significant portion of the right-wing base. Huckabee demurred.

"I'd like to think the Republican Party is mature enough, big enough, and smart enough that it actually knows competition brings excellence. And the lack of competition brings mediocrity," Huckabee said. [Rick Perry's middle name is "mediocrity" so this is probably the wrong tact to bring up with him.]

"You know the old proverb is as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. The fact is no boxer is ever prepared to go into the ring if he's never sparred."

"If we're really serious about taking it all the way to November, we better have a candidate who's truly battle-tested. So this nonsense about how I should step aside and have a cakewalk all the way to the election, that's crazy. Unless they were all to step aside and let me have a cakewalk, then that would be a fine thing. But otherwise, I can see no value in that at all."

More truculently, he told the CPAC goons today that he "didn't major in math. I majored in miracles." They cheered wildly, even though they know they're stuck with the reprehensible and phony-baloney McCain. At today's straw poll of the radical right CPAC loons Willard narrowly beat McCain. Of those participating 31% said that "if John McCain were the GOP presidential nominee, they would either vote for someone else, or not vote at all."


UPDATE: McCAIN IS ALSO TANKING IN LOUISIANA. LIMPING ALONG IN WASHINGTON

Gee, that inevitability thing isn't going over well with Republican primary voters and caucus goers. They're slapping down McCain everywhere-- the South, of course, but also the Midwest and West Coast. Washington is a (red) neck and neck race with Huckabee and McCain see-sawing back and forth. We'll have to wait til tomorrow before we know who won what there. [UPDATE: Looks like the Republican Establishment pulled a pigeon out of a hat at the last minute to avoid an embarrassing loss for McCain, instead of an embarrassing "win." These Republicans are hardwired to cheat, not just Democrats, but even themselves! Huckabee is challenging the electoral theft.] It's close in Louisiana too, but Huckabee has kept the lead. Whomever wins in the end, it sure doesn't look like McCain is as much of a champ as the media and the GOP Establishment has been trying to paint him. Apparently even Republican voters smell a stinker and a phony when they get pounded in the face with it enough.


UPDATE: NEWT SETTLES ON A PYGMY

Newt was cheered at CPAC today, the drooling fascists screaming "We need you Newt," but he told them they should just get over the differences with McCain and hold their noses and vote for him. He seemed to have already acclimated himself to an historic Republican defeat in November.

He said he had traveled to Idaho last weekend, when Illinois Sen. Barack Obama attracted a crowd of at least 16,000 in Boise, and that the ability of a Senate Democrat to attract a crowd of that size in that solidly-red state was “inconceivable.”

“On Super Tuesday, there were 14.6 million Democrats who thought the presidential nomination was worth voting for, and there were 8.3 million Republicans” who felt the same, he said. “That is a warning of a catastrophic election.”

He said there was “something happening” in the country that conservatives did not understand, and “I believe we need to change or expect defeat.”

Yes, Newt, there is something happening here. You were close when you referred to all the Republican Bush wanna-be's as pathetic pygmies. You're getting colder though if you think the answer is endorsing the most pathetic pygmy of them all. But you did inspire me to make a little video clip for ya: