SOUTH CAROLINA REPUBLICAN PARTY IS A MESS-- BUT THERE IS NO SOUTH CAROLINA DEMOCRATIC PARTY

Lindsey always loved dressing up in different outfits

When Republican politicians get caught molesting young boys or distributing cocaine they deny everything and then check in to a country club-like rehabilitation center. Like GOP congressional child predator Mark Foley, South Carolina Treasurer/Giuliani state chairman Thomas Ravenel checked himself into the pricey, luxurious Sierra Tucson Center in Catalina, Arizona. Normal people would be thrown in jail but both of these are powerful southern politicians. Their only relationship to laws is making them, not being held accountable to them. This morning, rested and refreshed, 30 days after his coke bust, Ravenel makes his court debut. "Ravenel's attorneys entered a not guilty plea for the 44-year-old multimillionaire developer earlier this month. He is charged with possession with intent to distribute less than 500 grams of cocaine... If convicted, Ravenel faces up to 20 years in prison and a $1 million fine." No one thinks he will be.

The Ravenel saga isn't the only political news in South Carolina today. One of the state's Republican senators, Lindsey Graham, has to face the voters next year-- and an awful lot of voters have already made of their minds. They want anyone but Graham-- except Ravenel. Ravenel had been the favorite of the dominant far right extremists who control the state GOP and until his coke bust he was expected to take on Graham and, in all likelihood, beat him. Ravenel's crooked family could have easily financed what is expected to have been a very costly race, Graham flush with corporate donations from grateful recipients of his clear record of always selling out his constituents' interests to the greed and selfishness of Big Business.

In the wake of Ravenel's political demise, a flood of minor right-wing politicians has stepped up to make advantage of Graham's two big weaknesses-- his hysterical support for Bush's failed immigration bill and his slightly too-ajar closet door.

Today The Spoof!, a satirical magazine in Columbia, South Carolina published a parody of a secret that "everyone" knows about but that is never discussed in South Carolina-- that Lindsey, a homophobic fanatic, is actually gay himself.

University of South Carolina alumnus Lindsey Graham loves his 'Cocks.

"I have been a big fan of the 'Cocks since I was a little boy," acknowledged the Senator from South Carolina. "When people used to tell me that only girls liked the 'Cocks, I cried and screamed -- some boys like 'Cocks too!"

"While I was a student at the University of South Carolina, in addition to loving the 'Cocks, I enjoyed the Greek lifestyle as well," continued the never-married bachelor without kids. "If I could offer one piece of advice to a young Freshman entering his first year of college, I would wholeheartedly recommend joining a fraternity... and loving them 'Cocks!"

Joining a long list of other wingnuts who want a crack at Graham is Walter Witherspoon (aka, "Buddy"), a well-known orthodontist and a far right South Carolina Republican national committeeman. "Buddy" will have some real competition from former Rep. Tommy Hartnett, state Rep. Jeff Duncan, and Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer.

Even with the Know Nothing wing of the GOP, which in South Carolina is the GOP, furious at Graham and vowing revenge, he is viewed as the prohibitive favorite, mostly because there is no viable Democratic Party in the state and because insurgent Republicans rarely get anywhere in the top-down authoritarian party structure of South Carolina's Republican Party. Crazy right wing bloggers have been threatening to back a Blue Dog Democrat-- but none have stepped forward.


UPDATE: RAVENEL RESIGNS

Still claiming he's not guilty, South Carolina multimillionaire playboy Thomas Ravenel, who had earlier been forced to resign as Giuliani's state campaign chairman, this morning resigned as state Treasurer. This video doesn't show Ravenel snorting coke, but it does show the results of too much coke-snorting:



Of course, as son of South Carolina's racist ex-Congressman, Arthur Ravenel, what more could you expect. In fact, after Ravenel the Younger scooted off to his rehab, Giuliani appointed the racist Ravinel the Elder as his campaign head. What a team he's got down South, all headed by David Diapers Vitter.