TOM DELAY IS NOT A VIRGIN-- AND THIS AIN'T THE FIRST TIME HE'S BEEN CAUGHT RED-HANDED SCREWIN' THE POOCH

"I have done nothing wrong, I have violated no law, no regulation, no rule of the House."
-Tom DeLay

"Tom DeLay is morally probably the highest level public servant I have ever met."
-Ben Stein

"Tom DeLay is a virgin and he was immaculately conceived and so were his parents. We are checking on his grandparents and we'll get back to you."
-Mike Hawk and Philbert Suggs (joint statement)


Tom DeLay's recent indictment for money-laundering with the intent of illegally influencing an election isn't a rare ethical lapse. But it is small potatoes for one of the most egregiously corrupt politicians in the history of our Congress. The first I remember paying any attention to the then undistinguished former exterminator from Texas was 1988 when he aggressively thrust himself into the public eye in an absurd defense of Dan Quayle. He had been elected 4 years earlier but when questions were raised about Republican vice-presidential nominee Dan Quayle's use of family connections to get into the Indiana National Guard (the exact same way George II avoided the War in VietNam), DeLay came out swingin' for Quayle, claiming that he himself had tried to enlist at the same age, but was told those damn ethnic minorities had already filled all the available positions and there were none left for him. People just laughed at the little-known Texan loudmouth, although the WASHINGTON POST followed up and reported that DeLay had received student deferments while he was at Baylor (and even AFTER he was expelled from Baylor for being drunk and disorderly, earning the sobriquet "Hot Tub Tom"). After this, he disappeared back into the bowels of the GOP caucus for a while. But like the termites and rats he used to exterminate, he was busy causing plenty of damage where the light don't shine.

In 1994 he was elected House Majority Whip and devoted much of his energy to undermining President Clinton and using his Whip position to insure Clinton would be impeached for lying about getting a blowjob. Right around that time it broke in the press that DeLay had committed perjury during a civil lawsuit brought against him by a former business partner a few years earlier. DeLay wound up settling the suit out of court in order to avoid serious criminal charges that he had-- take one guess-- violated federal and state election laws!

Before we get into DeLay's long list of criminal activities, I want to remind you about another escapade in prime time for a DeLay whose name had already become a household word. He made headlines as a psycho and panderer for his role in the Terri Schiavo controversy. On Palm Sunday weekend in March 2005, several days after the brain-damaged Florida woman's feeding tube was disconnected for the third time, and sensing an opportunity to exploit a family's private pain and suffering to score some cheap political points, DeLay and some House cronies met in emergency session plotting to pass a bill allowing Schiavo's parents to petition the removal of the feeding tube to a federal judge. DeLay hysterically called the removal of the feeding tube "an act of barbarism." He was mocked for his blatant hypocrisy by critics when the L.A. TIMES revealed that he had consented to ending the life support for his own father, who was in a comatose state because of a debilitating accident in 1988 just as DeLay was becoming Assistant GOP Whip in Congress. His best-remembered quote from the Schiavo circus he fomented was made on March 20: "Terri Schiavo is not brain-dead; she talks and she laughs, and she expresses happiness and discomfort. Terri Schiavo is not on life support."


On October 6, 2004, the House Ethics Committee UNANIMOUSLY (meaning all the Republicans on the committee recognized he was a lying sack of unethical shit) admonished DeLay on 2 counts. The    first count stated that DeLay "created the appearance that donors were being provided with special access to Representative DeLay regarding the then-pending energy legislation." The second count said that DeLay "used federal resources in a political issue" by asking the Federal Aviation Administration and Justice Department to help track Texas legislators during the battle over Texas redistricting.

Seven months later a Texas judge ruled that a committee formed by DeLay had violated state law by not disclosing over $600,000 worth of fundraising money, mostly from the credit card industry (they love him because he let them write a bankruptcy bill that screws working people while protecting dishonest corporations and the wealthy). Some of the money was spent on manning phone banks and posting wanted posters on Federal Highways calling for the arrest of Democratic legislators with an 800 number to call if seen after the Democratic caucus left to Oklahoma in order to prevent redistricting legislation from passage. The Federal Highway Administration offered to cooperate in arresting the Democrats, forcing the Democrats to travel to Oklahoma by plane instead of by automobile. Although not a member of the Texas state legislature, DeLay became involved, by contacting-- some would say bullying-- 3 Federal Aviation Administration offices (in Oklahoma City, Fort Worth and in D.C.), 4 FBI offices (Dallas, Corpus Christi, Austin and Ardmore, Oklahoma), 2 U.S. Marshalls offices (in Texas' Western and Northern Districts), the U.S. Attorney in San Antonio, the Office of Legislative Affairs at John Ashcroft's Kafka-esque Department of Justice, and, last but not least, the Air and Marine Interdiction Coordination Center (in Riverside, California).

Meanwhile, back at the bi-partisan House Ethics Committee, DeLay was UNANIMOUSLY (I bet he HATES that word!) admonished because he "offered to endorse Representative [Nick] Smith's son in exchange for Representative Smith's vote in favor of the Medicare bill." Actually, that charge was a face-saving compromise since what DeLay had actually done was far worse, in effect destroying Smith's son's political career in a brutal act of revenge (against a fellow conservative Republican who felt he ought to represent his district's needs instead of the Big Pharma lobbyists who funnel so much loot into DeLay's political machine). At the same time, the Ethics committee deferred action on another count related to fund raising while that matter was subject to state criminal action. That state investigation eventually led to the felony indictment last week.

On August 11, 2005, the Federal Elections Commission audited Americans for a Republican Majority Political Action Committee, one of several shady Political Action Committees founded by DeLay, and found that it failed to report more than $300,000 in debts owed to vendors and incorrectly paid for some committee activities with money from another DeLay-connected political committee.
The FEC also found that another of DeLay's front organizations, ARMPAC, misreported receipts and the ending cash balance for 2001 activities and the beginning cash-on-hand, receipts, disbursements and ending cash-on-hand for 2002. ARMPAC also failed to report $322,306 owed to 25 vendors.

Twenty days before DeLay himself was indicted by the Travis County grand jury, a FEDERAL grand jury indicted Texans for a Republican Majority for illegally accepting (soliciting) a political contribution of $100,000 from the Alliance for Quality Nursing Home Care, and the Texas Association of Business on 4 counts, including charges of unlawful political advertising, unlawful contributions to a political committee and unlawful expenditures (including to political candidates. A week later, on September 13, 2005, a federal grand jury indicted Jim Ellis, who heads Americans for a Republican Majority, and John Colyandro, former executive director of Texans for a Republican Majority, who already faced charges of money laundering in the case. DeLay's boy Colyandro also faces 13 counts of unlawful acceptance of a corporate political contribution.

Now I'm sure you want me to get into DeLay's troubling relationship with K Street (the 35,000 lobbyists in DC). First off is his pointed-- and very successful-- effort to parlay his control of Congress into an enforced dominance of K Street. With cronies Rick Santorum, and Grover Norquist, DeLay launched a campaign (in 1995) encouraging lobbying firms to hire only Republicans for top positions. DeLay made it clear that firms that had Democrats in positions of authority, would not be granted the ear of Majority Party members. Having worked in the music business I experienced this first hand as the RIAA wound up incongruously hiring some right-wing partisan hack.

DeLay was also complicit in stirring up controversy in the wake of a series of high-profile violent crimes and death threats against judges when he said that "the men responsible [for Terri Schiavo's death] will have to answer to their behavior." DeLay's comments came soon after the February 28, 2005 murder of the mother and husband of Chicago Judge Joan Lefkow, and the March 11, 2005 killing of Atlanta Judge Rowland Barnes. DeLay watchers accused him of inciting violence against judges when their decisions were unpopular with the public. Ralph Neas, President of People for the American Way, said that DeLay's comments were "irresponsible and could be seen by some as justifying inexcusable conduct against our courts." DeLay publicly apologized for the remark after conservative colleagues started wondering out loud if he is more a dangerous thug than he was previously thought to be.

As for the biggest piece of the Tom DeLay puzzle, the most important thing to look at is his bag man/consiglieri Jack Abramoff. I don't want to go over all the points I've been writing about for the last few months but no examination at Tom DeLay is complete without a look at the symbiotic relationship he has with the GOP's #1 lobbyist and biggest crook (other than DeLay himself). Abramoff was arrested a couple months ago and faces a myriad of charges in jurisdictions large and small across the country. Ultimately he may well face murder charges for having ordered the gangland-style execution of a partner of his and DeLay's. Does this sound incredible? It does to me too. Roland says I'm out of my mind and refuses to listen. Its definitely not on CNN, let alone Fox. But Krugman mentioned it in the NY TIMES the other day and Air America has started discussing it. It's just a matter of time... Please click back to September 28th and read a piece I wrote called "DELAY IS PROBABLY THE MOST CORRUPT CONGRESSIONAL LEADER IN HISTORY. BUT IS HE ALSO INVOLVED IN MURDER??"

Conclusion: Tom DeLay, Ben Stein, Philbert Suggs and Mike Hawk are all liars and probably certifiably insane. Since I started with some quotes, let me end with one too. DeLay had this to say to the Associated Press today: "I can do my job with or without the title. That doesn't concern me."