MITT ROMNEY-- PRETTY FLY FOR A WHITE GUY? UH... NOT REALLY

David Kahne, one of my oldest friends, produced "Fly" for Sugar Ray. I can tell you for sure than neither David for Mark McGrath had Mitt Romney in mind when they wrote and recorded the multi-platinum smash. Romney, on the other hand, probably has "Fly" on his iPod. His campaign seems to think he can make up with smitten women's votes what he loses from people who won't vote for the... well, you know... the Mormon thing. And why will he do so well with the gals? Well, he always has. In fact in 2002, when he was running for governor of Massachusetts, he did an ad strolling down the beach shirtless.

But it goes beyond that. His campaign is actually seeking to further exploit what they call his "sensational good looks." We have the Nation to thank for this quote today: "In this media-driven age, Romney begins with a decisive advantage. First, he has sensational good looks. People magazine named him one of the 50 most beautiful people in America. Standing 6 feet, 2 inches tall, Romney has jet-black hair, graying naturally at the temples. Women-- who will play a critical role in this coming election-- have a word for him: hot." And it isn't even just Ann Coulter and other Republican women who think he's hot. Gay GOP hearts are all aflutter over all 6'2" of shirtless Mitt too. Jim McCrery (R-LA) and Denny Hastert (R-IL), two fine Republican closet queens, are all goo-gah over Mitt. He is terrible on women's issues and he's worse on gay rights but his condescending campaign staff thinks gays and women are so shallow that they'll vote for him because... he has nice teeth?

Anyway, it's Friday, time to put down that all encompassing copy of Battlefield Earth and get down with some tunes. Here's one for Mitt. He sure is hotter than Tommy Thompson.





UPDATE: WINGNUT DECLARES "IF YOU VOTE FOR MITT ROMNEY, YOU ARE VOTING FOR SATAN!"

Gee, those Republican crazies play rough. I heard that right wing shill on NPR's Left Right & Center having a meltdown over Al Sharpton's relatively mild attack on Romney's participation in the whacky Mormon Cult. I wonder what he'll have to say about GOP religionist operator Bill Keller.

"This message today is not about Mitt Romney," he writes. "Romney is an unashamed and proud member of the Mormon cult founded by a murdering polygamist pedophile named Joseph Smith nearly 200 years ago. The teachings of the Mormon cult are doctrinally and theologically in complete opposition to the Absolute Truth of God's Word. There is no common ground. If Mormonism is true, then the Christian faith is a complete lie. There has never been any question from the moment Smith's cult began that it was a work of Satan and those who follow their false teachings will die and spend eternity in hell."

..."I have been warning you for years now about this cult born out of the pits of hell and responsible for sending millions of souls to eternal damnation," Keller says. "For the nearly 200 years this cult has been in existence they have strived for mainstream acceptance. They are the most devious of all the cults since they have always tried to portray themselves as 'just another Christian group' when in fact, they are no more Christian than a Muslim is! Their deception starts with their name, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Sounds like a Christian church doesn't it? Some Mormons have recently changed their name to simply Community of Christ to disguise even better who they are in an attempt to lure people in."

And Keller, a bigwig in the Florida GOP, knows all about luring people in. In 1989 he was convicted of insider trading and served 2 years in prison. When he got out he immediately embarked on his next scam: a degree from Republican Buy Bull "college," Liberty University and then on to cheating brainless parishoners out of their hard-earned savings ever since. I wonder how he feels about old Flip-Flop Mitt's stand on choice. GOP! GOP!


MONDAY UPDATE: WHAT DOES YOUR EVERYMAN THINK ABOUT ROMNEY AFTER SEEING HIM ON 60 MINUTES LAST NIGHT?

Ray Hanania says Romney lost his vote last night. He didn't go for the flip-floppery, Romney's defining political trait. Hey, you can't have everything; what about those teeth?