WHO WILL THE GOP'S GIGANTIC BLOC OF CLOSET QUEENS ENDORSE FOR PRESIDENT?

It's the season where endorsements come trickling in everyday, a way for the infant campaigns of the presidential hopefuls to show the media that someone cares. Republicans are most concerned about trumpeting endorsements from the kind of social conservatives who make up much of their base, which is why the McCain propaganda team was beating the drums today because a far right, somewhat insane housewife in Iowa named Maxine endorsed him, theoretically countering James Dobson's anyone-but-McCain plea a few days ago. On the other hand, there are quite a few Republican voters who might not be quite as insane or socially conservative and they're making endorsements too.

Republican ex-congressman Mark Foley (FL) is far too toxic after his resignation and arrest for molesting underage boy pages for any of the candidates to even accept his endorsement, let alone seek it. Ditto for resigned congressional Internet predator Ed Schrock (R-VA). But what about the closeted gay Republicans who haven't been caught with underage boys (yet)?

Many powerful closeted Republicans in Congress are close with McCain. Lindsey Graham, of course, has already endorsed him. (Graham expects to be McCain's first gay cabinet member and shills for him daily.) David Dreier hasn't made it official but he's another likely closet case for McCain, as is ex-congressman Jim Kolbe (R-AZ). Ed Koch is a professional Democrat-for-the-Republican and presumably his meager services will be purchased either by Giuliani or McCain... or Mitt Romney.

Today Romney's campaign not only announced that Jim McCrery (R-LA) is endorsing him but that he will be the House endorsement whip, lining up other Republicans (not just closeted ones, either) to back Mitt. A classic flip-flopper, Romney may be a bad candidate for gay people but a perfect one for conflicted closet cases. His infamous letter to the Log Cabin Republicans is forever being bandied about by right-wingers who claim he isn't right wing enough. On the other hand the Log Cabin guys and gals have always been big McCain fans and have and they have long held up Rudy Giuliani as their kind of Republican.


Meanwhile, the far right is aghast that Giuliani is a cross-dresser and that he supports some gay rights and it isn't likely that they'll be mollified that closet case Ken Mehlman has not just endorsed him but may serve as his campaign manager. No one yet knows who Mitch McConnell will be endorsing; he's too busy trying to kill ethics legislation in the Senate to think about much else.


UPDATE: PLANET DENNY COMIN' OUT FOR ROMNEY

Looks like Mitt's got something GOP closet queens like. Ex-Speaker Denny Hastert is reported to be about to endorse him.