Midnight Meme Of The Day!

by Noah

Moscow's Mayor Rudy Giuliani is one of those knuckle-dragging goons that craves being the center of attention. He can't live without it. So much so he's practically demanding now to be a witness at the impeachment trial of his even more bonkers buddy. Rudy just has to get out there and be in front of the cameras. I mean, can you imagine what he must be like at home, away from public view? This guy is literally bouncing off the walls and probably the ceiling too, all hand gestures, screaming and spraying rivers of saliva all over the floor. His couch is probably a reeking soggy sponge of spit. God, his house must stink! If you go there, be careful you don't slip and fall in the slime.

And all that stuff I just said about Rudy? That is Rudy at his best. There's one thing any other administration, one that had an attorney general that didn't wake up every morning to embrace the sleaze like William Barr does would most likely have done already and that's march his dimply-pimply butt into the nearest high-walled, bars on the windows federal housing. The charge: Being an unregistered foreign agent. Ah, but there's the rub! This current administration doesn't consider Russia to be foreign at all, so Rudy's protected. No indictment headed his way.

So, since we're stuck with Rudy being free and out loud right in public, let's at least go for the dark hilarity that Washington deals in so well. C'mon Donnie! C'mon Mitch! Let's reverse the decision to bar Rudy! Let's go for the gusto! Let's grant Moscow's Mayor his wacko wish! Let's hear from the Rudy who claims to be a cyber-security expert but locked himself out of his own iPhone! Let's hear from the guy who accidentally butt dials reporters! Let's hear from that guy! Let's see how much intelligence he's given out over his unsecured phone while talking to Trump on his! C'mon! Let's have Rudy be a witness at the impeachment trial as he wishes to be! I've already seen apprentice on Hannity. Believe me bigly, Rudy is ready for the bigtime! In fact, I think that after the prosecution gets through throwing nerf balls at him, he should be defended by Louis Gohmert, David Duke, Gym Jordan, Lindsey Graham, and Hannity himself. That would be some funny shit. Just watch him goon-out on live TV all over the world! But even better, just put him on the stand and let Perry Mason have at him until he's just a blob of whimpering gelatinous goo on the $enate floor. Clean up in Aisle One!