Wednesday, April 17, 2019

Report: Putin Almost Done Redacting Mueller Report


Mr. Putin, you have mail by Nancy Ohanian

Except for Rudy Giuliani, tomorrow's the big day. God only knows what Maddow is doing tonight to prepare for the Big Day! No matter what, though, he sure to spend the day with Ted Lieu's twitter feed open. This morning, Ken sent me the New Yorker url that led to the latest from Andy Borowitz, along with this concise note: "All too frequently I don't bother clicking through to Borowitz Reports because the subject matter is of such despair to me that I figure, how could Andy B make it funny? Except he always does! In this case, I don't know about you, I see that aberrant life form's reptilian cunning-- his only form of intelligence-- yet again allowing him to skate through, well, every-fucking-thing."
After putting in what one associate called a “hellish all-nighter,” the Russian President, Vladimir Putin, is almost finished redacting Robert Mueller’s report in time for its release, on Thursday.

Earlier in the week, the U.S. Attorney General, William Barr, submitted the approximately four-hundred-page document to Putin for his approval, but the Russian President was reportedly "in a state of disbelief" over how much Barr had failed to redact.

Quickly assembling a crisis team at the Kremlin to implement further redactions, Putin told his associates, "Put some coffee on, boys-- it’s going to be a long night."

Although Putin is said to be satisfied that his redactions have rendered the Mueller report meaningless, he resents that the important task of obliterating damning evidence fell to him. "I have to do everything for these people," he reportedly said.

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At 4:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This would be funny if it wasn't so believable.

At 6:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

don't need the report. trump already, in his own words, admitted to obstruction and publicly asked the kremlin for help with $hillbillary's e-mails.

Mueller should have investigated why Pelosi refuses to impeach anyone for any crime that they admit to or boast about.


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