Midnight Meme Of The Day

by Noah

Just look at this baboon!

OK, I apologize to the baboon community. Might as well apologize to orangutans and sloths, as well. It's just that, well... you know, since Trump maybe some sort of hybrid... I do know that in the past (and future), we've called Trump by the descriptive Señor Trumpanzee, and it kinda fits, but, occasionally, I worry that it insults our close cousins on the family tree of apes.

What I'm getting at is that maybe the human race should just swallow its pride and accept the fact that Trump is not a lesser ape but one of us, a human being. I know, I know. I know your thinkin', "C'mon, Noah, we'll go along with you, but only to a point." But, OK. let's just drop all pretense and assume that Trump is human, but one with serious problems in the cabeza.

For any of you that don't know, cabeza is the Spanish word for head. But cabeza fits that thing on Trump's shoulders even better than that! My use of the word cabeza stems from, ironically, Mexican cuisine, where it more specifically means the head of a steer or pig used for taco meat, and we know how much Trumpanzee loves him some tacos! Proper preparation includes removal of the head, slow cooking, and then shredding. Are ya with me so far?

You may think "No way could I eat Trumpian cabeza." OK, I get that, but, for you, there's always chilled monkey brains.

So, what do we call Trump's mental condition? Narcissism? That's good for starters. So is psychosis. He's certainly got both of those, but what about the rest? Is he playing up his obvious craziness in order to offer it up as a possible defense for his actions? Personally, if I were judge, jury, and executioner, I sure wouldn't let him get away with that. I'd just give it a name like Trumposis or something like that and toss him into a filthy pit of venomous snakes. Nothing cruel or unusual about that. Kind of fitting for some of these Washington types anyway.

As for the idea of a Trump Presidential Library, surely they jest, or as that tennis player John McEnroe used to scream, "You can't be serious!" I mean, what would be in a Trump Presidential Library other than a bunch of nude photos of Melania, maybe some well-thumbed copies of Gent, Club International, and Cheri thrown in with some copies of The Art Of The Deal and some of Trump's famous fake Time Magazine covers. I suppose that, after he's gone, people who visit the library will start surreptitiously leaving copies of their doctoral papers about the Trump years and the "workings" of his mind and the minds of those who supported him. There could be some nice screens that visitors could activate in order to learn more about the Trump years; screens that feature fellow knuckle-dragging lunatics like Rudy Giuliani, Sean Hannity, Alex Jones, and Jeanine Pirro talking about their idol in a state of permanent frothing mania. Don't forget Ann Coulter!

I would hope that a Trump Presidential Library would also include a bit about how Trump violated his oath to defend the Constitution, and thus his contract with the American people.