Midnight Meme Of The Day!

by Noah

Gee, it's been a week or so since the news broke about that reported pedophile ring of Pennsylvania priests sodomizing over a thousand kids, and that's just the 1000 kids the investigation found out about. You know there's a probably ton more where those came from. You can read the graphic details, homemade church porn, whips and chains, and sodomy with crucifixes, at the provided link. Imagine a bunch of Jeffrey Dahmers in clerical collars who did everything but actually murder the their victims.

So, I've been waiting. I've been waiting and waiting and waiting for Republicans to get all up in arms about this. I mean, where's Pat Robertson? We all know this is the the kind of thing that causes things like Katrina and 9/11! How do we know? Pat Robertson told us so! Hell, every Republican knows by age five that, if two guys kiss somewhere, then, somewhere else in America, a bald eagle falls from the sky deader than a doornail. That's just fact in Republican World. So, what gives with their wall of silence? Surely, Republicans care about this, no? Where are the congressional Republicans running and tripping over themselves as they race to the microphones for a photo-op on this matter? Did Putin tell them not to?

Wheres's the mass demonstration tonight's meme alludes to? Where's Chick-fil-A on this? Is that freak in Colorado gonna stop baking cakes for Catholics? Surely, Sean Hannity must be planning a big rally on the Washington mall to combat this just like he did with the evils of Obamacare! With a surname like Hannity, he must have grown up a nice little Catholic boy. Well, forget about the nice, but, you know what I mean. And, surely, President Crazy Pants must be tweeting up a storm about this! But, I guess the "Deep State" has found a way to intercept his tweets about the subject. And, don't call me Shirley. After all, I'm a guy.

I know! the righties must think this whole thing about pedophile priests is fake news! Alex Jones is right! All these horrors involving kids are just hoaxes pulled off by the mainstream media! FOX "News" is right! The sodomized kids are just child crisis actors, just like in Parkland High School!

But, you know... the whole thing gets weirder. You see, Republicans are still going on about some pedophile ring that Hillary Clinton runs from the basement of that suburban Maryland pizza shop that doesn't even have a basement! Why do they care so much about that but not but about not this? Will someone please ask Sarah Huckabee Sanders? I'm sure we'll get a straight answer from her! She's a Christian so she'd never lie about anything, would she?