Midnight Meme Of The Day!

by Noah

I get all sorts of emails from Trumpanzee and his Repug Party. I'm on their list so that you don't have to be. Lately, I've been getting ones that reflect an increasing paranoia. Imagine that! One, for instance, purports to be from Trump and asks, plaintively, "Noah, are you still with me?" Of course these emails are all about raising money for his re-election or that of some other Republican goon somewhere in America. I'm tempted to just reply something along the lines of "Hey, fuck you asshole. If you're half as rich as you claim to be, just pay your own way. You don't need a dime from me! Not one penny! No way would I insult Honest Abe that way!"

A lot of the emails are full of the self-congratulatory nonsense and self-aggrandizement that you'd expect from any megalomaniac who has a severely limited intelligence. They claim great victories in "making America great again" and are chock full of comments about "Nancy Pelosi," "Crooked Hillary," and "Liberal elites." They reveal the intellectual capacity of a 9 year old, i.e. the Republican base. But, this past weekend, I got the one I'm using as tonight's meme. It's about the birthday of Trump's 3rd and hopefully final wife. Now that I've said that, I suppose we can expect him to divorce Melania so he can marry his daughter like he's some kind of Egyptian Pharaoh or Roman Emperor. We all know he dreams about it. One thing is sure by this point: If Trumpanzee did manage to marry Ivanka, his voters would applaud it and a sizable percentage of them would look at it all as confirmation that "He really understand my family and he really is just like us!"

The striking thing about Trump's Melania birthday email is how it's a pathetic, childish attempt to ingratiate himself with a wife that has to be mighty sick of him and his philandering and cavorting with hookers and porn stars. Apparently, he has evidence that she can be bought off with just a card. Melania got what she signed up for, though. As they say, everyone has their price. As usual, though, if you read the email like I do, you will see that he claims he "wouldn't be the man I am today without her by my side." Sigh, that Trumpanzee! Always blaming others when he should just blame himself.

Anyway, I signed the damn card. I signed it with Stormy Daniels' name and sent it back.