Midnight Meme Of The Day!

-by Noah

Well, now it seems that Republicans have flipped their lids so badly that they are seeing a "secret society," a dastardly club of nefarious conspirators allied against their "president"; FBI conspirators no less.

We've always known that being a delusional, paranoid crackpot is a major qualification for membership in the Republican Party but this is even more surreal than usual. Republicans think they have proof positive that there is a "secret society" within the FBI that that "secret society" is out to get them and their traitorous trumpanzee of a president. Apparently, they see the "proof" in a joking sarcastic mention of this "secret society" in an FBI agent's text as all the proof they need. It's a case of seeing what you want to see so much that you lose what bearings you had, if you had any in the first place.

What's that that people always saying about Repugs having no sense of humor? Add that to the fact that if an FBI agent is talking about this "secret society" on a relatively easy to hack media... well, it's not really very secret, is it? Who would know this better than an FBI agent? Sigh, repugs have no sense of irony either, just as they have no sense at all. This nonstop attack on the law enforcement community by the Republican Party has completely crossed over into loony land, the place where the Republican Party feels at home and most comfortable. The Republican Party is clearly so desperate to discredit the Mueller investigation that they are willing to destroy the fabric of the law enforcement infrastructure of this country to do so. Sure our legal system often affixes a certain facade or moving goalposts quality to our laws, but this? No wonder these people think that college professors are members of the illuminati. Of course, this behavior makes ya wonder if they aren't just afraid there's not only proof of traitorous behavior of their president but also proof to be found that they are in it up to their necks as well, doesn't it? Clearly, the desperation that is driving their minds to short-circuit and cause these actions is a manifestation of the desperation of people trying to cover their own asses.

Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson, a man who is no stranger to derangement, took the lead on this latest example of Republican kookery, but, of course, the fellow kooks at Trump state television, formerly known as FOX "News" eagerly ran with it. Endlessly babbling the words "secret society" like it was their new mantra, FOX and the rest of overt Republican media went full-on Alex Jones with a conspiracy that Johnson said showed "corruption at the highest levels of the FBI,",adding "There's so much smoke here, there's so much suspicions." Bad grammar aside, I saw Johnson say this on national TV and I had to wonder if smoking copious amounts of weed was now not only legal but encouraged in the Capitol Building. I guess it might explain a lot.

I'm also wondering: Is there a magical treehouse where the "secret society" secretly meets? If so, how often and what secret rituals might be involved? Is there a secret decoder ring that each FBI agent gets with their badge? Is there witchcraft? Does everyone get a shoe-phone? Are Scully & Mulder secretly working to remove Trump from power and install Hillary Clinton as president?

At first I thought maybe the "secret society" held their meetings at Hillary's child sex ring pizza joint, but that place just got too hot. So, it turns out that the Chinese place shown in today's meme is where the secret meetings of the "secret society" are held! Jeez! It says so right on their sign! Right out in the open! So brazen of those dastardly FBI people! A public secret meeting! They're just flaunting it! The arrogance! And... wait, a Chinese restaurant! Say no more! The Chinese must be involved! Those numbers in the fortune cookies aren't just numbers to play in the lottery, they're a secret code! Holy shit! The republicans are right after all! This is bigger than we ever imagined! And isn't Jared Kushner close to the Chinese? Jared's part of the conspiracy! He wants to be president! This is like ancient Rome or Egypt where some relative bumps off the Emperor or Pharaoh! And, damn, he's a registered Democrat way up in that librul bastion New. York. City! My God! Can't you see it! Can't you see it!

Hey, I gotta go now. I just got word from moonbat crazy Trey Gowdy and Rand Paul that there's a new joint session republican hearing about to convene. They say they're opening up a taxpayer-funded investigation into the half-man-half-goat aliens that Mitch McConnell says he saw exiting a spaceship that landed in his backyard this morning. Reportedly, the aliens were seen to be wearing "I'm With Her" t-shirts, and, dare I say it, get this... no pants! But, first, I gotta go get some Chinese.