Midnight Meme Of The Day!

-by Noah

First, let me, as Richard "I am not a crook" Nixon liked to say, make something perfectly clear: By posting this meme as a Midnight Meme Of The Day!, I am not fat-shaming Señor Trumpanzee. Definitely not. No way. Instead, I am, as I always do, Asshole Shaming him. Got it?

Trump, a fat-shamer himself, knows he is obese. What's more, he is ashamed of his obsesity. If he wasn't ashamed of it, he would not go to such absurd lengths to, at least technically, hide the fact that he is obese. Lots of people have a weight issue. Some on the plus side. Some are anorexic. None of that speaks to one's value or character. What's interesting to me about Trump running from his reality (and I'm not solely talking about his obesity here), is that his reaction to his obesity is a reflection of his character. He is using it as just one more opportunity to be a compulsive liar, a fake, a fraud, an asshole of maximum proportions.

When the story of the results of Señor Trumpanzee's physical exam were released earlier this week, the looney bin known as the White House took great pains to "adjust" both Trump's height and weight so as to make it appear that he is not obese. They reported him as being 6'3" tall and weighing 239 pounds. At 6'3", 240 pounds would mean Trump is officially obese. Hmmm. Maybe we can call him "nearly obese?" Now, consider this: After dinner on the day of his physical, Trump undoubtedly weighed 240 pounds, or more. So, Señor Trumpanzee went to bed obese that night. Whatever. If Trump was weighed at 239, somebody please get me one of of those "magic scales!"

When the White House issued Dr. Ronny Jackson's statement about the physical, Dr. Jackson managed to spell his own name wrong, spelling it Ronnie. This means that either Dr. Jackson didn't write or sign the statement, or, that he did but he is so dumb, brain damaged, or whatever that he should not have been selected to give Trump a physical in the first place. When Dr. Jackson got pulled in to address the press, ostensibly to lend some emergency credibility to the mis-signed health report, the whole thing came off just like a Saturday Night Live skit. Jackson even claimed that Trump passed a test of his cognitive abilities and is "mentally sharp." This is all right out of the Kim Jong-un playbook of grandiosity when it comes to lying.

There's also another possibility about the report: Maybe, the White house has something on Dr. Jackson and is blackmailing him into giving a somewhat positive report. Certainly, other people have been way too willing to sell what integrity they ever had in the service of our shithole president; talking 'bout you Gen. Kelly, $enator Cotton, $enator Perdue... Could we soon be hearing that Dr. Jackson will be replacing Sarah Huckabee Sanders? He fits the part. Dr. Jackson would make a perfect Baghdad Bob.

In any event, since Señor Trumpanzee's alleged physical and the cavalcade of alternative facts that came spewing from the White House about it, a seemingly endless amount of memes and tweets dealing with the subject have surfaced. There's even now a Girther movement of people wanting to see his "Girth Certificate" and offering money if Trump will step on an accurate scale in public. Most of the memes depict comparisons of Trump's 239 pounds to other well known men of similar weight. Most tellingly, some show Trump standing next to men who are known to be 6'1" and appearing to be the exact same height as Trump, thus, at 239 pounds, making him officially obese for his real height. Anyway, enough about all this. Imagine how Trump feels when he stands in front of a mirror and all that ever-ballooning weight keeps making his hands look smaller and smaller.