2017, A Hell Bound Train Of A Year (Part 7): Is Franklin Graham Brain-Damaged, Or Is It Just Because He’s A Typical Fake Christian Republican?

-by Noah

With every year-end review I do, I like to include one or more Republicans that, while they get some attention, largely fly under the radar. Sure, I do that all year long, but, you see, I just feel so bad that some miscreants just don’t get the exposure they so righteously deserve. Oh, how I long to rectify the situation!

So, this year, I thought I’d do an additional good work that will, I’m sure, gain me entrance into Christian Heaven, aka The Ultimate Gated Community. The Ultimate Gated Community? Yeah. You bet. Why else do you think that Christianity, especially pompous, sanctimonious, fake Christianity, has sooo much appeal to Republicans?

As for the question posed by the headline of this post, the correct answer is both. After all, one can’t be a Republican without a) hiding behind a fake and perverted version of what was once one of the world’s great religions, before it got so corrupted by greed and toxified by hate, and b) from what I’ve seen, you do have to be brain-damaged to be a Republican. How else does one explain things like promoting pedophilia for the sake of power?

Franklin Graham is, or at least likes to be known as Donald Trump’s pastor. He’s also the son of the late Billy Graham who, although he hung around politicians of both parties, liked to think of himself, especially, as Richard Nixon’s pastor. The Grahams like to really hang with the uber-douchebags.

Billy Graham, however, was a man of great accomplishment in his field. He managed to successfully apply the principles of old time western patent medicine salesmen to the selling of a brand of Christianity that is as phony as those old cure-all “medicines.” Sure, that’s what it’s all about anyway. Whether you’re Pat Robertson, Graham, or Joel Osteen, the godly man so famous for shutting his doors during the Houston flood this past summer, it’s all about marketing yourself and preaching for money, lots of money, more money than God, in fact. Saving souls? What’s that about? Just send your checks.

Whatever else you say about Billy Graham, at least he had the respect of the public, deservedly or not, even from people who didn’t like a lot of things he stood for. Maybe one reason is because Billy Graham didn’t engage in overt bigotry when it came to Islam or our LGBTQ citizens like his son does. Franklin, in fact, is in danger of being banned from Great Britain for those very reasons. Graham is so batshit crazy about anything to do with LGBTQ issues that he has warned music legend Grace Slick that her sins carry “a death sentence.” What set him off into full-blown crazyland? Well, when the anti-gay rubber chicken chain, Chick-fil-A used one of her songs in a commercial, she decided to donate her royalties to Lamda Legal, a legal rights organization that fights on behalf of LGBTQ people. Franklin also says that same-sex marriage is the work of Satan. No, sorry Franklin. You are the work of Satan. Period.

Graham has also made it clear that he thinks former President Obama is a “Secret Muslim” and that God chose Trump to be president. Franklin Graham is such a perfect match for birther Trump that I’d be surprised if Trump didn’t someday put tits on him and marry him.

To date, Franklin Graham is but a shadow of his father, a faded xerox copy printed on cheap paper. I know I’ve used this analogy before, but, it’s true 99% of the time so why not beat it to death? Over the years, I’ve noticed what seems to be an as yet unnamed disorder. For lack of a better name, I call it Rotten Apple From The Tree Syndrome. I observed it numerous times during my career in the corporate world: First there is a father who rose to the top of his profession, was actually good at it, and stacked up a lot of achievements and respect.

After that, came the son, the opposite side of the coin. The son who was both supremely obnoxious, insecure, and utterly incompetent. Such sons never learned how to grow up and only got a job because of daddy. Often, they lose their jobs but daddy is always there with the diaper-made parachute of another job. Unlike the father, the sons often temporarily just hang on by claiming achievements that will never stand up to investigation or analysis. People laugh at them behind their back, constantly. Some people call it the lucky sperm bank but I see it as a disorder. That’s Franklin Graham.

To his credit, Franklin Graham falls short of the hideousness of the more well-known Pat Robertson when it comes to being counted on for lunatic pronouncements from fake Christians, but, let’s be fair, Franklin just hasn’t been around as long and he doesn’t have his own TV channel. Graham could be just as crazy as ol’ Pat, but we just don’t know it yet. That’s as good of a reason as anything to write this post. His fans can thank me later for doing God’s work.

So here we have Franklin Graham, a man who is also a pastor. These days, he hangs out with a supremely obnoxious, insecure, and incompetent president who has even deeper problems; problems that affect all of us, regardless of religious (or not) background. Graham and Trump are kindred spirits in hate.

Graham also shares in Trump’s cries of fake news, even saying that the concept of fake news is illustrated in the Bible.

Isn’t everything? Some people will even tell you that the Bible has a code you can decipher to give you winning lottery ticket numbers and World Series winners. Next thing you know, Trump and Graham will be telling us that the fabled Bowling Green Massacre appears in the Bible too, so it has to be true.

In the past, Graham has also taken one of George W. Bush’s daughters to task for her support of Planned Parenthood saying:

Planned Parenthood is the #1 abortion provider in the United States. Raising funds for this organization is like raising money to fund a Nazi death camp, like Auschwitz, except for innocent babies in their mother’s wombs!

An obvious proponent of fake news himself, Graham also prides himself on spreading the big lie that Planned Parenthood was caught on video “trying to sell baby parts.” But, promoting fake news comes naturally if you are a fake Christian, especially one who kisses up to a fake president.