Midnight Meme Of The Day!

-by Noah

This meme should be made into stickers that we can place everywhere, and I mean everywhere. I imagine them plastered to the hallway, office, and bathroom walls of the White House, just in case there are any women who work there who would actually object to being grabbed by Señor Trumpanzee or one of his sons. It should become the White House equivalent of that "what to do for a choking victim" poster we see in restaurants. I'd also like to see it plastered all over and all around any Trump hotels, casinos, etc. We could even affix them to those huge dump trucks they use as barricades at Trump Tower here in NYC.

I realize the print instructions are small, but if someone printed the sticker up to bumper sticker size, that should suffice. Certainly the visual depicts what to do, but, if you, like me, have a little trouble reading the small print, here are the steps to take to protect yourself. Keep in mind that, given his reported diet, Trump's breath and body odor is probably so awful that you may faint before you can act. Best not to be in Trump's proximately anyway.

Step 1: Don't panic. Swerve to the right wile breaking perpetrator's tiny fingers. I would add that you can probably go for a full elbow dislocation fairly easily.

Step 2: Follow with a knee to the groin. Precision is required due to small target area. Hell, at this point, he's probably got a roll of protective blubber covering up his genitals. And, why do you think he wears such long ties?

Step 3: Spray attacker in the eyes with his own aerosol hair spray. I suggest that, if his hairspray is not readily available, you should look for his spray tan or just grab a can of his always present diet coke, shake it up and pop the tab.