Sunday, November 05, 2017

Midnight Meme Of The Day!

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-by Noah
This year, the ratings (NFL ratings) have gone backward because of the controversy. The controversy is polarizing the customer, polarizing the country.
--Papa John's "Pizza" CEO John Schnatter, trying to assign blame for his product's lagging sales on kneeling NFL football players.
Papa John's CEO John Schnatter, known for his cretinish wingnut approach to life, made the above comment on a call with investors on Wednesday. The truth is, however, that the sales picture of Papa John's (the Official Pizza of the NFL) was already going down in each of the first two quarters of this year, months before the third quarter start of the current NFL season. Nice try, Schnatter! If you were going to take that kind of tack, it would have made more sense to accuse your buddy SeƱor Trumpanzee of driving customer eyeballs away from your non-stop ads on game broadcasts as the reason for your lost sales, not that that would ever happen or that his opinion would matter to anyone who hasn't already fallen for his other cons. As to why the NFL's ratings are down somewhat, it makes more sense, in the reality normal people live in, to look at the accelerated public concerns about the longterm effects of head trauma and the high profile charges of domestic abuse among the league's players.

For a moment, let's forget what kind of person runs Papa John's "Pizza." Let's get right to the product. I live in New York. There's pizza and there's "pizza." On the list of top 25 choices for pizza here in New York, whatever that stuff Papa John's sells is comes in at about number 1850. I'll put it another way: Imagine you were sitting in a nice outdoor cafe in Paris and you sat down to enjoy some great wine and great cheese. In anticipation, you know the bread will be amazing, but then, they bring out a few slices of Wonder Bread. Papa John's is worse. I once worked in a studio here where, when it came time to order in some food, we pulled out the accordion file that held the menus and there, in the wide variety of healthy and unhealthy food choices, was a Papa John's menu. Someone had properly taken a sharpie and written "Are you fooking kidding?" across the top of the menu. For added perspective, the version choice of the expletive used indicates that the writer hailed from England, a country well-known for its very low standards when it comes to food. So, that's saying something. Here in New York, we just know Papa Johns's as "the pizza even the rats won't eat."

Schnatter's statement even brought derision from his marginally better competitors, Pizza Hut and DiGiorno. As you can see at the link, the tweets are flying! Let the trash pizza tweet wars begin!

A guy like Schnatter is probably happy about all of the attention. After all, it is often said that when it comes to marketing, it's all about getting your brand noticed, period. Unfortunately, as one of today's two memes indicates, other things that reveal what kind of person Schnatter is are being noticed, too. Choke on a slice, Schnatter! Choke on a slice, and treat the head of Chic-fil-a to a slice, too, while your at it.



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4 Comments:

At 12:38 AM, Anonymous ap215 said...

Perfect.

 
At 4:02 AM, Blogger Thomas Ten Bears said...

Suburban blight. A number of years ago he opened a store in an abandoned corner gas station. Lasted about a year. Unfortunaely, shortly after he left IGA (market) abandoned the strip mall next door. Now that city block is an empty parking lot servicing an empty gas station, an empty supermarket, a kid thrift-shop and a gun store.

There's a pot shop and tattoo parlor across the street.

 
At 5:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I knew there was another reason to despise P-J's spokesman Peyton Manning. Now if they could only unearth some scandal at Nationwide Insurance I'll be able to hate him and his phony "Aw shucks" persona with my entire being.

 
At 5:43 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had PJ pizza once and couldn't eat it all. Sadly, little ceasar's is just as bad. Every single pizza I had in 5 cities in Italy were many orders of magnitude better proving that America takes good ideas and thoroughly fucks them up (pizza, beer, democracy...).

I had nationwide for a while. They sucked less than allstate.

 

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