Thursday, November 23, 2017

Midnight Meme Of The Day!


-by Noah

Imagine if there was something called RA. You know, a 12 step program for those who suffer the shame of having a Republican in their family. For me, it would go something like this: "Hello, my name is Noah and I have a Republican in my family."

Imagine being in a room with others who could say the very same thing. For too many suffering Americans, that is what they face every Thanksgiving. The problem is, though, that all too often, that Republican is in the same room, the dining room. That is not the case with me! When it comes to my family, I adopted a Republican-Be-Gone solution. Yes, I am genetically related to a couple of Republicans, but I didn't need no stinking 12 step program. I simply ignore their existence. A 1 step program! Perhaps, for you, that would be hard. Perhaps, you considered setting up a TV table or a card table in the corner of the dining room for the family goon. Not me. Not the "kiddie table" approach. Not the porch. Not the garage. Not on my property! I'm a get off my lawn guy. I mean, come on! We all know what happens to that patch of grass when the dog pees on it.

Look, I know it's probably too late. You've probably already, in some ridiculously misguided moment of tolerance, invited the family Republican to Thanksgiving dinner, but, there's always next year, or, perhaps you could quickly build a wall around your property, one that is high enough that no Republican could ever jump over it; one that is deep enough that no Republican could tunnel under it. Think of the delicious irony!

But, enough of this. Assuming that you might have some FOX "News"-Alex Jones-Breitbart loon in your midst today, why not give everyone else in your house some sort of Buzzword Bingo game or drinking game and just count the seconds before the family wacko pukes out the words "Entitlements," "Chem Trails," "Benghazi," "Crooked Hillary," "Birth Certificate," "Kaepernick," or, best of all "Black Lives Matter." Warning: If you've chosen the drinking game approach, you are going to have an extra black Black Friday.

Anyway, I chose today's memes with all of this in mind. They're just a quick refresher course of a few talking points. You know, after all, that Psycho Paul Ryan is going to come up as your crazy uncle or whatever starts talking about the "It's about time!" Trump/Repug Tax "Reform" scam. First of all, try calling it what it really is. Call it a Screw Americans Tax Plan, or, more politely, if you must, a Raise Taxes Plan. Whatever you decide to call it, it's a Tax Scam, and it's being put forward by psychopaths who are incapable of doing anything but hurting anyone who isn't in position to give them big bags o' money for their "campaigns."

Since Republican plans to cut Social Security, Medicare, Food Stamps, Childcare, Obamacare, Veterans benefits and any other benefits they can think of so they can hand billionaires more billions in tax cut favors, will come up, and since Paul Ryan, who enjoys healthcare on our dime and who used his father's Social Security benefits to pay for his own education, has summoned his inner Wisconsin Jeffrey Dahmer in order to get House approval and send this Big Scam to the $enate and then the Big Obese Orange Freak's desk so he can use his crayons to sign off on it before he goes back to eating a Playdough sandwich, here you are. Have at it, not that the family loon has enough functioning brain synapses to even begin to understand or reason. They only think emotionally or just in some reptilian way. Maybe the best thing to do is have one of your kids pick his pocket. Then your crazy Republican uncle will know how it feels, at least until the word "Benghazi" pops into what's left of his mind.

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At 4:45 AM, Anonymous Hone said...

I am seriously thinking of ordering that bumper sticker, "Fuck Trump and Fuck You for Voting for Him" and hanging it over my desk.

You can now order it on line. Of course. Capitalism at its best!

At 6:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You don't believe all those inbred redneck shit-for-brains don't think obamanation DID try to get their guns and their republican demigods are HELPING them while only cutting sustenance for the ni--ers, spi-ks, ch--ks, f-gs, k-kes and liberals?

Clearly white Christians can and do believe whatever nonsense they are told.

At 4:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hone - I have been thinking the same thing! I hope she makes a lot of money selling them.


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