Friday, October 27, 2017

Last Minute Halloween Costume Ideas: With A Trump Theme, Of Course!


-by Noah

Tuesday is October 31st. That means Halloween is almost here, although it should be said that this year's Halloween began the day that bloated orange freak floated down the stairs to announce his candidacy in his fake gold encrusted Fifth Avenue tower.

Now that you remember that image of horror, I thought I'd get to listing a few costume ideas you may want to consider wearing for trick or treating Tuesday night, but first I want to list a few ideas for the evil denizens of the currently haunted house at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. So, here goes:

1. Rex Tillerson- An oil covered pelican

2. Jeff Sessions- What else but a Keebler elf? Perhaps the gollum from Lord Of The Rings?

3. Stephen Miller- Going as Pee Wee Herman would work, but I bet he's too lazy and shiftless to get that costume together. No, he'll just go to his closet and pull out one of his designer sheet and hood outfits.

4. Mike Pence- Speaking of closets, I'm sure that Pence and his fake wife will go as two of the Village People. He'll go as the cowboy. She'll be the cop.

5. Sean Spicer- He will make a special return appearance at the White Supremacy House dressed as a shrub.

6. Kellyanne Conway- She will put on one of her fab toy soldier outfits that her boss loves so much

7. Eric and Little Donnie Jr.-- Full African Safari "Great White Hunter" mode, including "Make America Great Again" safari hat, for these two miscreants.

8. Ben Carson- OD'd opioid victim.

Now, on to a few of the commercially available costumes:

1. The Trump "Best Costume" t-shirt, in orange and white, natch.

2. You can go as "The Wall". Option 1

3. "The Wall". Option 2

4. Need a costume for your dog?



At 11:10 PM, Anonymous innocent bystander said...

Way back, late one evening, during the Summer of 1974, I stopped by a Guest House in Provincetown, MA to meet up with a friend. In the living room, watching TV, were about nine gay men - and Nixon was on the news. While I waited, I listened with fascination while they all made disparaging remarks about him - and they were all convinced that he was gay. Being much younger than they, I was perplexed as to how they would 'know' that because my own 'gaydar' wasn't finely tuned then. Years later, after I'd become interested in politics, I did some reading up about him and came across his relationship with Bebe Rebozo. Still, I never got any particular 'vibe' about him. Looking back to that evening, it strikes me that all of those men were Nixon's generation, not mine - and maybe they were better tuned into other members of their generation than I could ever be.

That brings me to your post today. While I can sort of 'see' Miller as a self-hating, repressed homosexual, thinking of him as 'gay' is impossible for me because those words imply two different things. 'Gay' is a positive term; 'homosexual' is just clinical - and Miller is one of the most clinical persons I've ever had the dis-pleasure to observe.

On the other hand, there's Pence - and I don't know what to make of him (sexually, that is - if he's sexual at all). I'm aware that lots of other gay folks view him with great suspicion, in that regard, but once again, my 'gaydar' hasn't set off any alarms. I can't say that I'd be surprised, though.


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