Tuesday, August 01, 2017

In Memory Of Anthony “Mooch” Scaramucci


-by Noah

The Mooch is gone. Well, he’s at least gone from his temp job at America’s number one show “Asylum White House”. He’s Fired! Maybe he should have pleaded that “it was just locker room talk.”

Moochie only lasted 10 days, but, hey, what a fab 10 days it was! Now, he’s been escorted out the gate. I suspect Senor Trumpanzee, the man who hires “the best people”, will soon point to the ouster of The Mooch as an example of his promised draining of the swamp.

Even people as completely classless as those who are currently soiling the Alternative Fact world of the White House with their every breath and step may have felt The Mooch’s language and demeanor were just a bit too much (emphasize ‘just a bit’). More than likely though, what probably bothered them was not his behavior but the fact that so many people outside of the mental asylum at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. were offended and objected to it. So, the beloved Moochie had to go.

Let us not forget: you are who you hire. The person in charge of any institution will always hire those he or she feels most comfortable with. That Mooch got the job in the first place speaks to the character of the man who prides himself for being able to “grab pussy” with impunity and walk through a locker room of undressed, under-aged models simply it’s his show. Creepy.

A thought: Since the Washington Post has just revealed that Senor Trumpanzee actually dictated Donnie Jr.’s first statement about his meeting with the Ruskies, might we assume that Senor Trumpanzee was also dictating Moochie’s foul statements? After all, we know that he was telling Sean Spicer what to say.

So, what happens now? Sure, comedians are disappointed. Mario Cantone’s appearance on Comedy Central’s “The President Show” was very promising but what now? Cantone has other talents but he was a perfect Mooch. Sad.

The Mooch was apparently fired by Senor Trumpanzee’s new Chief of Staff, General John Kelly. Good move General, but before people give the General too much credit, let’s remember that he reportedly is and has been very friendly with the man who would be fascist dictator for quite some time. Despite what the mainstream media is saying about John Kelly being an “honorable man”, being a friend of Donald Jackass Trump speaks volumes to me about Kelly’s judgment and character, so MSM, please stop with the bullshit.

What will happen to The Mooch? Who cares? Even his wife has had it. She’s divorcing him. He’s a loser, a tremendous loser. The only question about the wife is why would anyone marry him in the first place?

Maybe the quixotic Trump will bring Moochie back in time for 2018’s White House Easter Egg Hunt. Then, since Sean Spicer is no longer around, he can fill Spicey’s old role and dress up in that easter bunny costume. Then, he’ll probably encourage the staff to steal all the candy from the kids, as if they’d need encouragement. Meanwhile, it wouldn’t surprise me if Moochie took a lot of yoga lessons with his lifetime goal in mind.

As I said in my post about Spicey leaving: bring on the next goon.


While there are some rumors--in the right-wing media-- about co-President/Gen. Kelly installing Kellyanne Conway as the new spokesperson/communications director of the Trump administration, perhaps this guy is the best fit at Asylum White House:

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At 9:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

OOOOH, please make it so. kellyann conman would be hilarious as WH press secretary. Spicey was slow on the uptick and didn't know enough facts to keep from stepping on his own dick repeatedly. KAC knows less and is slower and is even less circumspect. She'd be fucking hilarious.

One wonders what qualified mooch initially. Fellating the pretend prez with trump-brand breath mints?

So... what of Huckabee? Secretary of trump awesomeness?

I wonder if this is how L. Ron Hubbard became his own deity?

And why would the Mrs. marry that insane dipshit? Easy. He was a rich hedge fundie. I'm sure she was VEEEERY relieved when mooch gave her "irreconcilable differences" incontrovertible proof with that call-in interview. Now she can leave the dipshit but not his money. Hopefully the baby will never know the father.

At 2:58 AM, Anonymous Michael Simmons said...

Concerning the soon to be ex-Mrs., here's my thesis: Maybe it was a million dollar brooch that enticed her to marry the Mooch or maybe her cooch comes cheaper when in the market for a hedge fund douche -- or maybe she simply drank too much hootch!


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