What Color Will Señor Trumpanzee Be Mañana?

We love the Dublin-based European betting house Paddy Power. Even though I'm not a betting man myself, they always offer fascinating opportunities to bet on current events. In a press release today, "Deep Saffron Is The New Black-- Paddy Power Open Betting On Inauguration Specials-- Including Trump's Skin Colour," they're calling attention to the odds they're offering on several important aspects of tomorrow's biggest day for fascism since Germany expanded employment by 1- preventing Jews from working, which opened up thousands of jobs for members of the master race and 2- banning labor unions from striking.

The bookie makes lighter tones Tiger’s Eye and Deep Saffron its 6/1 favourites with Mango Tango leading the chasing pack at 7/1.

Further down in the betting is Vivid Tangelo and Cool Copper at 8/1 while Mahogany props up the betting at 18/1.

Paddy Power are also betting on what will be the first Trump-ism uttered by the tycoon during his speech.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, ‘Make America Great Again’ is the favourite (2/1), while ‘Fake News’ (11/1), ‘Vladimir Putin’ (12/1)), and ‘Brexit’ (16/1) are also solid contenders.

There are also a host of wildcard options included in the betting, such as ‘I think, therefore I am’ (33/1), ‘I have a dream’ (40/1), ‘You’re fired!’ (50/1), and ‘Nigel Farage’ (40/1).

And Farage is also prominent in the market for which celebrities will be in attendance. The UKIP leader is a short price to be at the inauguration (2/1).

Noted supporter Kanye West (3/1), madcap wrestler Hulk Hogan (3/1) and Dennis Rodman (10/3) are also in contention-- as well as loud-mouth pal Piers Morgan (12/1).

However, the party could be short-lived-- with the bookie offering odds of 4/1 that Trump is impeached within six months of his presidency.

Féilim Mac An Iomaire, a spokesperson for Paddy Power, said: “Donald Trump’s election led to our biggest political payout in our history and we very much doubt that he’s done with upsetting the odds just yet. His inauguration will be watched all around the world and we make it 6/1 for the State’s to follow up its first ever black President with its first ever deep saffron Commander and Chief.”

Trump’s Inauguration Skin Colour

6/1         Tiger’s Eye
6/1         Deep Saffron
7/1         Mango Tango
8/1         Cinnamon
8/1         Heat Wave
8/1         Cool Copper
8/1         Vivid Tangelo
9/1         Carrot
10/1       Persimmon
10/1       Pumpkin
12/1       Burnt Orange
18/1       Mahogany

What Phrase Will Trump Use First?

2/1         Make America Great Again
7/2         Islamic Terrorism
11/2       Russia
9/1         Twitter
9/1         Nuclear Weapons
11/1       Fake News
12/1       Mexican Wall
12/1       Vladimir Putin
14/1       North Korea
16/1       Brexit
33/1       I think, therefore I am
40/1       I have a dream
40/1       Nigel Farage
50/1      You’re fired!
500/1    Golden Shower

Who Will Be In Attendance?

3/1         Kanye West
3/1         Hulk Hogan
10/3       Dennis Rodman
10/3       Mike Tyson
6/1         Jon Voight
12/1       Piers Morgan
16/1       Arnold Schwarzenegger
33/1       Meryl Streep
40/1       Kim Kardashian
50/1       Bernie Sanders
66/1       Lady Gaga
100/1     Bruce Springsteen
200/1     Bono

Golden couple specials

11/2       Trump to wear a golden tie
9/1         Melania to wear a golden dress

Presidential Betting Specials

4/1         Trump to be impeached in first six months of Presidency
14/1       To have an actual golden shower installed in the White House
16/1       To be dumped by Melania in 2017
500/1     To paint the entire White House gold

Trump’s First State Visit

EVS       Russia
4/1         Canada
4/1         Mexico
5/1         Israel
5/1         China
5/1         England

Let's hope people are still laughing about Trump by summertime. The alternative is chilling.