Twitter As An Art Form In A Post-Truth World: Constructing A Free-Form Twitter Poem From Tweets

by Noah

No one has weaponized twitter or used it for unintended comedy stylings more than Herr Trumpf. At the same time, the tweets of the Twit-in-Chief, in total, are horrifying. The unintended consequence of twitter is that it can give the reader a good look at the character (or lack of). the intelligence (or lack of), and, maybe most important of all, the mental health status of the user.

Herr Trumpf’s use of “the twitters,” as George W. Bush would probably call them, is somehow darkly inspiring. It has inspired me to wonder what kind of tweets might have been sent by various historical figures (both real and fictional), for better and for worse. You will recognize some of the tweets I have included as actual, real-life quotes. Some are not but could well be. The made-up hashtags add context and additional “nuance.”

What if there was a centuries-old archive of the tweets of famous figures in history, real or fictional? Just imagine if virtually all we knew about a person of the past -- or of the present, for that matter -- came from one or two surviving tweets. Would you be more thoughtful before you hit "send"? Some can’t help themselves. Gee, it’s like someone could start an international incident if that someone was so wrapped up in themselves that they couldn’t comprehend the potential consequences of their words. Words do matter, no matter how few.

Suppose Twitter had been around for, say, the last 2000 years or so; what might my theoretical library archive of tweets hold for historians? What might it say about us as a civilization? The possibilities that follow come to mind. I have arranged them in a form that I will call a Twitter Poem. With their strict limit to 140 characters, tweets are becoming a new art form, a haiku of the 21st century. Sometimes much meaning. Sometimes hidden in plain sight. So much is revealed.



HENRY THE EIGHTH
Anne Boleyn. Bad wife. Sad. Buys too many shoes. Sad. Off with her head. Yay! Hope next one better. #morewives

JULIUS CAESAR
Stab all you want. It’s MY name they’ll remember losers. #thumbsup

JOHN LENNON
War is over if you want it. Imagine. #imagine

MUHAMMAD ALI
Float like a butterfly; sting like a bee. I am The Greatest. #thegreatest


MADAME DEFARGE
Many upper class deplorables. Need baskets. #Blade

RICHARD NIXON
Met Trump fella. More mental than me. Loser. Bad hair. #headcase

ELEANOR ROOSEVELT
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. #fightfascists

ADOLF HITLER
Make trains run on time. All they care about. #foolshaha


JOSEPH STALIN
It is enough that the people know there was an election. The people who cast the votes decide nothing. The people who count the votes decide everything. #electionfraud

FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. #dayofinfamy

WINSTON CHURCHILL

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter. #itisjustacigar

DEBBIE WASSERMAN SCHULTZ
Are You Ready For Hillary? Do you like my new perm? #Arrogantasswipe

GEORGE W. BUSH
Fool me me fool once aganifoolme can’t prezle pretzel #smirkface


HERNAN CORTÉZ
Illegal? I got your illegals right here, señor, by the boatload. #cortezthekiller

BARABBAS
Can’t believe they chose me. I thought I’d be the last one they’d go with, but ain’t gonna argue. See ya suckers. #dumbomasses

RONALD REAGAN
This sure is long movie. Tired of role. #affableturd

JAMES COMEY
Mission Accomplished. #OwnedbyRudyG

LEX LUTHOR
Damn. I shoulda thought up Trump. #crimeofcentury


AYN RAND
The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me. #believemememe

GEORGE WALLACE
Love this Trump guy. Guess I was born too soon. #burnacross

VLADIMIR PUTIN
Can I pick ‘em or what? #puppetmaster

NANCY REAGAN
Just say no. #nomeansno


GEORGE CARLIN
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. #doomeddemocracy

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