Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Make Halloween Great Again With The Horror Of Herr Trump!


-by Noah

Well, THIS was bound to happen. Here’s a splendid opportunity to make Halloween great again. You can do it with the visage of America’s most popular neo-nazi, snatch-grabbing, gay conversion supporting, broom-riding, tax-evading douchebag, Donald J. Trump.

No, I don’t mean wearing a mask of America’s newest Charlie Manson. That’s so passé. I mean, why not explore your own artistic abilities and carve out a nice, round, fat pumpkin so it looks just like the Republican Party’s beloved choice to be our President and the leader of the free world? It's a natural! Or, is that unnatural? Either way, half of the work has already been done for you by Mother Nature. Pumpkins are already orange! Perfect!

Put your creation on your doorstep! Guaranteed to ward off evil spirits! Hell, even the raccoons won’t touch it: only the flies! Your Trumpkin be even more like the real thing when it starts to rot, sag, and smell. Imagine Trump’s head full of creepy, crawling maggots. Is there a better example of art depicting reality?

One last suggestion: If you have a horse, you could even pretend you’re the headless horseman and ride around town tossing these “Trumpkins” at the local crazies. They’re easy to spot now. They’re wearing those bright red “Make America Great Again” hats.

Warning, if you carve a pumpkin to look like Trump, you may gaze upon your creation and never be able to stomach eating a pumpkin pie again.

Courtesy of are some examples to inspire you. It’s hard to pick a favorite, but the Butthole Trump may be the top. Or, is it the bottom?



At 9:16 PM, Anonymous Michael Simmons said...

And like Trump, these Hollow-ween Trumpkins are.....HOLLOW!


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