Republicans In Their Own Words, Pt.1: It’s Republican World, 2015 In Review!-- Chapter Five

-by Noah

The alternate universe of the mind that Republicans have chosen to live in is a world of staggering ugliness and hypocrisy. The real world, the one that normal people live in just isn’t the world republicans choose. So, off they go into some crazy twilight world where racism, misogyny and all manner of negativity are justified, conspiracies abound, and a veritable cornucopia of never ending hate is always available.

Often the words of republicans themselves give normal people a view into the darkness of this other place.

1. Chipper Jones-- One day soon, former Atlanta Braves 3rd baseman Chipper Jones will be voted into baseball’s Hall Of Fame. He was that good of a ballplayer, on the field. For right now, however, he will have to settle for the Human Decency Hall Of Shame for tweeting to his followers, back in early February, that the Sandy Hook massacre was a hoax. It’s an old wingnut canard but the force of this one is strong in Republican World.

“So the FBI comes out and confirms that Sandy Hook was a hoax. Where is the outrage? What else are we being lied to about? Waco? JFK? Pfff…”

Jones eventually apologized saying something about he should have done some research, that he was just repeating something he’d heard somewhere, blah, blah...

You, Chipper Jones are the outrage. What a scumbag!

It gets worse. The Atlanta Braves just hired Jones as a Special Assistant. Assistant for what? Special Assistant For Republican Idiocy, Georgia Division? Special Assistant For Teabaggery? You want outrage? The Atlanta Braves are an outrage! The total jerk that hired him is named John Hart. Send him a tweet.

As if Jones’s tweet didn’t inflict enough pain, other “Sandy Hook Truthers” piled on, sending nasty tweets to those who lost children and friends. Nice people, eh?

Christina Hassinger, the daughter of slain school principal, Dawn Hochsprung, who died trying to shield some of her students invited Jones to come to her house for dinner where so she could show Mr. Rightwing A-Hole her mother’s bullet-ridden clothes and take him to the shot up school. It’s doubtful that that would convince someone like Jones. He obviously lives in Republican World, where reality has no place.


2. South Carolina Republican State Senator Tom Corbin-- a Republican from South Carolina; what else should we expect?

Here’s Corbin expressing a common Republican viewpoint:

“Well, you know God created man first. Then he took the rib out of man to make woman. And you know, a rib is a lesser cut of meat.”

War On women? What War On Women? Nothing like using God to disparage women. But, that is sooo Republican!

3. Kansas Secretary Of State Kris Kobach-- Republicans love to try to convince us that race never enters into their feelings about President Obama. Check out this Grand Wizard wannabee who recently spoke to a White Nationalist group. When a caller on his radio show made the following racist comment:

“Under Obama the word is going to come down that there won’t be any prosecutions of black criminals.”

Kobach, who is also known in Kansas as “The Voter Suppression Chief”, responded:

“Well, it’s already happening, more or less, in the case of civil rights laws.”

Damn civil rights laws! Yep. Republican hatred of Obama has nothing to do with race!

4. Brothers Tucker and Buckley Carlson of the Daily Caller-- Yes. It’s true. Tucker Carlson, he of the rancidly smug mind and personality, has a brother. Shame on their parents! The brother’s name is Buckley; named, no doubt, after the uber-smug, condescending conservative bloviator of the 1960s, William F. Buckley.

Buckley Carlson had some very nasty and graphic porn-styled extremely misogynistic comments for Amy Spitalnick an aide to New York Mayor Bill de Blasio. There’s no real need to repeat them here, but, you could always go to where this link will take you. I guess it wasn’t enough for Buckley to just say he respectfully disagreed with Spitalnick who had emailed the Daily Caller requesting a correction to yet another one of the Daily Caller’s fanciful “news dispatches” from Republican World.

Buckley Carlson, aka not the sharpest knife in the drawer” sent his XXXX-rated response email to his brother Tucker and other Daily Caller staffers and, apparently hit “Reply All.” The problem, of course, was that the original email came from Amy Spitalnick, thus providing Amy and then us with a further look down into the depths of the Carlson brothers’ minds.

Tucker Carlson did eventually reply to Spitalnick saying that it was totally fair of her to ask for a correction but said he didn’t like her “tone,” saying it was “whiny and annoying”. He didn’t like her tone”? Yet another great example of the lack of a sense of irony on the part of those who live in Republican World.

4. America’s Crazy Uncle Rudy Giuliani-- He’s not really my crazy uncle. If he were, I would have disowned him ages ago. He’s a fraud and he always was. Even his own children barely speak to him for how he treated their mother. She, and the kids, found out he was divorcing her when he announce it at a press conference. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

In recent times, Giuliani has dedicated his life to getting in front of the TV cameras, often blaming President Obama for anything that pops into what’s left of his mind. To Rudy, Obama isn’t a leader and Vlad Putin is the man we need in the White House. Whatever happened to the days when Republicans hated the Russians? This time, Rudy’s complaint was that President Obama is not addressing the “enormous amount of crime that’s being committed by African Americans.

“There’s an air of unbalance here.”

So aid Rudy. Again, there’s no sense of irony with the Repugs. Of course, the thought Rudy was trying to plant in the minds of listeners was one about crime and African-Americans. To Rudy and people like him, crime equals blacks. It’s typical Archie Bunker stuff. In fact, whenever Rudy buys a spot on TV, they should just put him in a tired, old easy chair. If they ever do a remake of All In The Family, Rudy will, at last, have a real job. Here’s one of Rudy’s pearls:

“I hate to mention it because of what happened afterwards, but (he should be saying) the kinds of things Bill Cosby used to say.”

Extra credit to Rudy for saying that President Obama doesn’t love America.

“I do not believe, and I know this is a horrible thing to say, but I do not believe this President loves America. He doesn’t love you. And he doesn’t love me. He wasn’t brought up the way you were Brought up and I was brought up, through love of this country.”

Right. President Obama, a minority child of a single mother in not the greatest economic circumstances, survives and gets to study his way into some really good schools and works his way to a position of United States Senator from Illinois and then President of The United States. Along the way, he meets and marries an equally brainy woman and they have two wonderful children. Yeah. This country screwed him so bad that he now hates his country. Such are the things you can actually say, if your mind lives in Republican World.

And, Rudy Giuliani, why would anyone love you?