Saturday, September 05, 2015

How 'bout a round of cheers for the New England Cheaters and QB Tom "I Got Away with It, Suckers" Brady?


The New York Daily News points out: "Brady wasn’t wearing his wedding ring Tuesday night at a Patriots gala."

by Ken

Since I have devoted a certain amount of attention to the case of Tom "The Cheating Man" Brady (aka DeflateGate), it seems only fair to take formal note of the slapdown administered this week by federal judge Richard Berman of the Southern District of New York to NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell (see "After Tom Brady's Deflategate suspension tossed by judge, Gisele steps out looking relaxed"), voiding The Cheating Man's four-game suspension and reinstating him to the eligible roster of the New England Cheaters. Though he  sat out the Cheats' final preseason game against the NY Giants, he's expect to be taking snaps for the regular-season opener against the Steelers Thursday night in Foxborough.

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell took a beating for procedural high-handedness in the judge's ruling, though neither the judge nor the NFL Players Association, which is solidly behind The Cheating Man in his legal battle, seems to care about The Cheating Man's cheating. What's more, in complaining about the commissioner's procedural violations, the judge set out steps that should have taken which aren't part of the league's prescribed procedures either.

And there are legal naysayers. On HuffPost, Portland (OR) criminal defense attorney Kevin Sali cautions that "Tom Brady's Legal Victory May Be Short-Lived," arguing that "there's a good chance that ruling will be reversed on appeal." (The NFL has already said it will appeal.)
I have no idea what role Brady had in deflating footballs, or whether he did anything improper in connection with the investigation. Let's assume, for the moment, that as a factual matter he's entirely innocent. Let's assume, further, that the NFL's hearing and appeal processes were riddled with errors and that commissioner Roger Goodell incorrectly interpreted the collective bargaining agreement and made multiple other legal mistakes.

Under the law, even if that's all true, it still may be insufficient to justify vacating the suspension. The reason relates to the way the law treats arbitration agreements such as the NFL's CBA.
Meanwhile, the nice thing is that the ongoing dust-up (the NFL has already said it will appeal) makes it even more likely that the thing The Cheating Man will primarily be remembered for is being The Cheating Man. Then there are the rumors that The Cheating Man has, as the New York Daily News's Ethan Sacks characterized the rumors, "fumbled his six-year marriage to Gisele Bundchen over the tensions from his legal battle with the NFL." We take no position on Cheatin' Tom's possible marital woes, and offer him the consolation that even if his marriage is kaput, he still has his memories -- the memories of a Cheating Man. And a reminder that there are probably lots of hot babes out there who don't care about a player cheating as long as he's a player, and especially a star player.

So let's hope that Tom ("I Got Away with It, Suckers") Brady and the New England Cheaters can look forward to a season of spending as much of their time as possible thinking and talking about, well, you-know-what. There's reason to hope that everywhere they go they'll hear crowds chanting (come on, join in!): "Winners never cheat, and a winner never cheats."


The New Yorker's Ian Crouch claims, "Tom Brady Wins the Long Game," arguing that The Cheating Man --
managed, by prolonging Deflategate, to rather unexpectedly rehabilitate his image. The longer it stayed in the news, the more ridiculous the entire scandal began to seem. The more the evidence from the N.F.L.’s investigation was parsed in print and on talk radio, the more flimsy and bizarre it appeared. And the longer that the N.F.L.’s clumsy handling of the case was put on display, the more that people began to turn against the league and its commissioner. Even before Thursday’s ruling, the seemingly impossible had happened: people from places other than New England and San Mateo, California, had begun, begrudgingly, to root for Tom Brady.
I've always thought Ian's kind of a dim bulb, and this seems to me kind of nuts. Then again, when it comes to the perceptions of the public, it may be that a dim bulb is exactly the right sort of illumination.

All the same, I think The New Yorker is on firmer ground with this eye-opening Borowitz Report:

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—Minutes after overturning Tom Brady’s four-game suspension for the 2015-16 N.F.L. season, federal judge Richard M. Berman raised eyebrows by admitting that he had the Patriots quarterback on his fantasy team.

Responding to reporters’ questions, Berman said that Brady’s inclusion on his fantasy roster “played no role whatsoever” in his judicial decision.

“As a federal judge, I made this ruling based strictly on legal precedents and the merits of the case,” Berman said. “But, as a fantasy-team owner, sure, it’s going to be awesome to see Tom in there for all sixteen games.”

The judge said that he was especially looking forward to seeing how Brady takes advantage of what he called “an amazing array of offensive weapons.”

“Gronk is going to have a big year, and even if Julian Edelman isn’t ready for Week One, I think Reggie Wayne is going to surprise a lot of people,” Berman, who also has selected Wayne for his fantasy team, said.

For his part, Brady minimized the role that Berman’s fantasy team might have played in Thursday’s legal victory. “A win’s a win,” he said.


What could be more American than that eloquently stated principle: "A win's a win"?

What was it that The Donald tweeted? "Tom Brady is my friend and a total winner!" That pretty much settles it, dontcha think?

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At 8:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I enjoy your sense of humor and political analysis. Your Tom Brady derangement however is a sign of a deeper trouble that I'm guessing defies understanding by anyone not clearly familiar with your deepeer neuroses. I'm supposing you really don't believe Brady deserved punishment for something that wasn't proven he did that he might have done and that other quarterbacks have themselves been doing one way or another - overinflating or deflating or heating the ball or cooling the ball, and other QB tricks - for many generations now. Is it jealousy on your part? That's my best guess, since I don't know what else could be your real problem. Who cheated you that Brady is a stand-in for?

At 9:12 AM, Blogger KenInNY said...

You know, you may be right that there is something. Although you're in wacko-wild denial, I assume that at some level you know perfectly well that Tom Brady is an overprivileged, lying, cheating, scapegoating scumbag, with an unshakable sense of entitlement that says rules don't apply to him. Note that in his cover-up, which began on day one and in which everthing he's done and said has been a lie, including his unrelenting obstruction of the investigation, he didn't say that every QB does it, he said that he didn't do anything -- before (and after) he destroyed the evidence.

Now it looks like he's going to get away with it, and I guess I really, really don't like people, especially overprivileged people, getting away with stuff. 

Thanks for asking! 



At 7:30 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks, Ken. I admit to a bit of awe bordering on envy of Brady, and I guess I've succumbed years ago to an 'if I can't beat him I'll join him' philosophy, but I indeed acknowledge Brady might've done it, and did say such in my over-the-top comment. But as I mentioned, other QBs do it as well and some have admitted it, and that Brady did not mention the other QBs in his defense is actually to his credit - he's no snitch and knows he's done nothing that should need defending. And he's not a snitch on himself and his team either when there's no valid reason to be, as he knows he's being singled out by almost all the other owners and Goodell (do they have the same problem with Brady you seem to have, an overprivilege?) for punishment for something that has never even been enforced prior and the NFL knew had been going on forever. So in this sense then more power to him. In this way, Brady is a bit Bill Clintonesque, who unlike Brady was coerced into telling the truth but wouldn't resign; Clinton's 'crime' didn't warrant the punishment of impeachment, and Brady's 'crime' wasn't proveable and was rather a persecution anyway. That's why Judge Berman took Brady's side. Berman legally fileted the NFL's argument and other gutted every last rationale for it as well. Now there's a judge familiar with justice! Also, I wouldn't cooperate with a witch hunt either, nor should you if such a thing was occurring, and if you transfer that to a political arena, I dare say, you wouldn't hold it against someone-other-than-Brady either. At a Red-Scare McCarthy hearing, for example, the heroes were the ones who refused to testify.

BTW, what I take away from Brady's media appearances through the years and his play on the field and his gritty determination to succeed that even shows itself on the sideline, is that he's just a guy who looks good, plays great, and does no one any harm outside of our own egos. I'd always thought the damage Brady caused was only against other teams. Lastly, I wouldn't have turned over my phone to Goodell's office either, which has been shown to lie, cheat, obfuscate, and steal (from the union, i.e.). And the judge agrees with that assessment of Goodell's dishonesty. And the NFL commissioner's office has leaked NFL player info like a sieve to the media for years selectively and prejudicially. Anybody would have to be nuts to expose their private lives such as is contained on their phones to someone with an irrational vendetta and zero scruples. Maybe Goodell has Brady Derangement Syndrome as well. Anyway, vociferous cheers to you too, and look forward to more of your creative adventures and analysis online.


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