Love Shack-- Or Shock And Awe?

We’re at the halfway point in our Alan Grayson B-52’s giveaway. You can read about the whole thing here— or just go to this ActBlue page and contribute and you’re part of the fun and games that could see you fly down to Orlando and receive an RIAA-certified quadruple platinum award for the B-52’s album Cosmic Thing.

Grayson was a fan of the album back in the day but yesterday he wanted to talk about the difference between the band and the bomber. This is what he sent out to his mailing list:

I want to make it perfectly clear (in the Nixonian sense) that this offer refers to the B-52s the singing group, not the B-52s the long-range bombers. Obviously, it’s very important to avoid confusion on this point, so let me offer this helpful guide as to how to distinguish one from the other:



The bomber delivers up to 70,000 pounds of weapons. The band delivers up to 70,000 pounds of fun.



The bomber’s nickname is BUFF, which stands for “Big Ugly Fat F***er.” The band is not known by that name.



The bomber was started in 1946. The band was started in 1976.



The bomber can fire air-launched cruise missiles. The band cannot.



On at least six different occasions, the bomber has crashed while carrying nuclear weapons. (I’m serious.) This has never happened to the band.



The bomber is made by Boeing. The band was made by their mothers and fathers. (Not to be confused with the Mamas and the Papas.)



Boeing charges $54 million for a single B-52. The B-52s charge considerably less than that for a single.



On the other hand, here is something that they have in common: The bomber is capable of carrying out its strategic mission without dependence on advanced and intermediate bases controlled by other countries. So can the band.



With that in mind, I hereby invite you to establish your eligibility to receive the RIAA-certified award for the B-52’s best album, Cosmic Thing, by making a contribution to our campaign.



Please do so willingly and voluntarily, without any fear of retribution or reprisal if you fail to do so, because neither the bombers nor the band are under my command.