DownWithTyranny!: Planning to have a big blow-out with the significant other? First wolf down a big, gooey sundae

This is Ohio State University psychologist Brad Bushman showing the sort of voodoo doll used by test subjects to stick pins in to reflect anger levels at their spouses. Apparently no option was offered to stick pins in Ohio State University psychologist Brad Bushman. Tell the truth now -- you'd like to, wouldn't you?

by Ken

Non-confrontational people who normally shy away from knock-down, drag-out battles with their spouses or significant others may want to rethink that habit as a result of a new study showing that the best time for couples to mix it up is when they're on sugar highs, meaning that pre-confrontation prep can include carbing up to your heart's content, with a real focus on dumping as much sugar as you can into your system. I'm thinking like a three-scoop hot-fudge sundae with nuts, whipped cream, and maybe two or three cherries. This used to be called "pigging out." Now it's science.

This was all worked out in a study at the Ohio State University (notice how I know that you're supposed to say "the" Ohio State University; the anonymous writer of the Bloomberg news report I'm working from doesn't seem to know this) whose findings were published last week in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. That's the lead author, Brad Bushman, seen up above holding a voodoo doll of the sort that was used by the couples in the study to register their spousal anger levels.

The folks at Bloomberg News seem pretty excited about this. Here's how they start their report, headlined in the Washington Post "Here’s a reason not to get into a serious discussion when you’re hungry":

Serious discussions between spouses shouldn’t take place on an empty stomach, a study suggests.

Husbands and wives reported being most unhappy with their spouses when their blood-sugar levels were lowest, usually at night, according to findings published last week in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. Missing a meal, dieting or just being hungry may be the reason, researchers said.

Sugar, or glucose, is used as fuel by the brain to help regulate self-control. Without the fuel, it is more difficult for people to control such emotions as anger and aggression, researchers said. The findings are among the first to show how low blood sugar levels may play a part in marital arguments, confrontations and even domestic violence, said the study’s lead author, Brad Bushman of Ohio State University,

In the study, 107 married couples tested their blood-sugar levels before breakfast and before bed. They were also given voodoo dolls representing their spouses and told to insert as many as 51 pins daily depending on how angry they were with their partner.

Those with the lowest nighttime blood-sugar levels inserted the most pins, the study found. Women tended to stick more pins into their voodoo dolls than men did, but the difference wasn’t significant.

Okay, there's nothing about hot-fudge sundaes here. I'm just trying to take it the extra step to show how practical seemingly peculiar scientific research can be. In this case, for example, I'm not entirely sure that this business of sticking pins in the little voodoo dolls correlates all that precisely with degrees of felt anger. I'm inclined to think that it may overrecord the anger level of particularly tactile or crafts-oriented spouses who get a kick out of playing with pins and pin cushions, while underrecording the feelings of a spouse who really wants to give his/her partner a good belt in the gut and nothing else will do. I also worry a little about encouraging this pin-sticking-in mode of sublimation and wonder if any follow-up was done to see whether post-test couples showed any tendency to start sticking pins in each other.

Note that the study was conducted entirely via pin-sticking.

After 21 days, the couples went into a laboratory, where they were told they would compete with their spouse to see who could press a button the fastest to test aggressive behavior. The winners could blast their spouse with a loud noise through headphones. In reality, the spouses were playing against a computer. Those with the lowest average nighttime blood-sugar levels sent louder and longer noises to their spouse.

“If couples have a sensitive topic to discuss, it would be really smart to do it over dinner or, better yet, after dinner,” Bushman said. “They should definitely not do it on an empty stomach.” Low blood sugar can trigger hormones that cause people to become more aggressive, anxious and irritable, said Timothy Graham, an assistant professor of medicine at the University of Utah, who wasn’t involved with the study.

I'm not sure exactly why this Timothy Graham fellow from Utah is horning in, seeing as how he wasn't involved with the study. Apparently he felt the need to get his two cents' worth in about low blood sugar and hormones and becoming more aggressive. It sounds to me like he has issues eh should be working out on his own time.

To return briefly to my Hot-Fudge Sundae Theory, the idea (as I've worked it out so far) is that by getting your glucose levels up, the big fight either won't be so big or maybe will just be more fun.