So what would YOU have said at the opening of Chimpy the Ex-Prez's (giggle) library?

Perhaps the elder former President Bush was learning this afternoon that his boy George now has a library bearing his name?

by Ken

For starters, this whole business of the launch of the Chimpy the Ex-Prez Immemorial Presidential Library has the unmistakable ring of waiting a decade to deliver the punch line of a joke. After all, it wasn't that deep into the criminal nincompoop's constitution-shredding that wags -- like those of NPR's Wait Wait . . . Don't Tell Me! -- were already riffing on this eventual spectacle. It might have been, but probably wasn't, Mo Rocca who answered the question of what you might put in such a facility with the suggestion of pop-up books.

This was, after all, a man who had spent his life farting at the values for which we turn to libraries, notably the gathering and sharing of knowledge. This at least was relatively benign -- "live and let live" might have characterized Chimpy's relationship to knowledge through most of his adult existence. But his catastrophic tenure in the White House was anything but benign with regard to the pursuit and dissemination of knowledge. Over those eight years the federal government did everything in its power to undermine, even destroy knowledge-based values. There were many dimensions to the Bush regime's monstrousness, and I would certainly never underrate its war-crimes-fueled assault on workable and just international relations, but the unbridled savagery of its war on knowledge always seemed, and still seems to me, the apex of its monstrousness.

Somehow, even though I was home all day, I seem to have missed coverage of the actual festivities, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that such was not the tone of the encomia delivered by the speakers, including the current president and all the other living exes.

I'm sure it would be easy to shred what each of them actually said, and I trust that's being done. It's important, because otherwise the inevitable result is to forget the degree of monstrousness of the Bush regime. Which I'm afraid is what appears to be happening -- and in the absence of any impulse to truth-telling seems all but inevitable. There's no question that disappearing was one of the shrewdest -- or luckiest -- things the Chimpster ever did. Remember that by the time the stiff slunk out of the White House he was virtually a forgotten person

I heard on the radio this morning that President Obama's strategy was going to be praising Chimpy for his relatively enlightened position on immigration. Chimpy was, after all, a representative of the 1% who have always understood the importance of this pool of rock-bottom-price, rights-free labor. And as far as it goes, that's a smartish strategy, and never mind that Chimpy the Prez was singularly unable to do anything about his relatively enlightened immigration position. And so, in the desperate quest to find something positive you can say about Chimpy from a policy standpoint, you wind up paying tribute to one of his failures.

However, the real problem with such a strategy is that, in the interest of politeness, it winds up whitewashing all of the Bush regime's monstrous doings. Still, what are you going to do? If you're stuck appearing at such an event, even if you want to honor truth and decency, what the heck can you say?

"He never endorsed criminalizing possession of a library card."

"He never participated in any actual book-burnings that we know of."

"He did marry a librarian, after all."

No, it seems to me that the only hope is not appearing at the event. But how do you manage that?

Dear George,

I'm sorry to have to tell you at this late date that Barack won't be able to attend your library opening because I'm making him clean out the garage. You wouldn't believe how bad it's gotten! He says that if I won't let him come to your shindig, I should be the one to break the news, so here it is.

Have a great opening! Best to Laura.

Yours,

Michelle O

The problem with a last-minute blow-off, though, is that by then it will have been necessary to prepare and circulate a text for the president's remarks. The only far-enough-ahead thing I could think of would be along these lines:

Dear President Bush:

My dad asked me to write to let you know that he will be unable to attend the opening of your presidential library because it conflicts with our dog Bo's obedience class. He says he hopes you'll think of him again the next time you open a new place. Just between us, have you thought of a BBQ restaurant?

Sincerely,

Malia Obama

Once you're committed to speaking, I don't see how our rules of sociopolitical decorum allow you to do anything but lie.

THE FOLKS IN THE THINKPROGRESS WAR ROOM AREN'T
BOUND BY THE RULES OF SOCIOPOLITICAL DECORUM

Miss Him Yet? 13 Reasons to Be Glad George W. Bush Is No Longer President

• Authorized the use of torture
• Politicized climate science
• Ignored Afghanistan to launch a war in Iraq
• Botched the response to Hurricane Katrina
• Defunded stem cell research
• Required Muslim men to register with the government
• Reinstated the global gag rule
• Supported anti-gay discrimination
• Further deregulated Wall Street
• Widened income inequality
• Undermined worker protections
• Ideological court appointments
• Presided over a dysfunctional executive branch

You can read the detailed explanations for yourself onsite. And I would say that even these "reasons" are more respectfully drawn up than I would have managed. At least they've got the basic idea right.

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